9. CHAPTER IX.
Containing matter of no very peaceable colour
Molly had no sooner apparelled herself in her accustomed rags,
than her sisters began to fall violently upon her, particularly her
eldest sister, who told her she was well enough served. "How had she
the assurance to wear a gown which young Madam Western had given to
mother! If one of us was to wear it, I think," says she, "I myself have
the best right; but I warrant you think it belongs to your beauty. I
suppose you think yourself more handsomer than any of us."- "Hand her
down the bit of glass from over the cupboard," cries another; "I'd
wash the blood from my face before I talked of my beauty."- "You'd
better have minded what the parson says," cries the eldest, "and not a
harkened after men voke."- "Indeed, child, and so she had," says the
mother, sobbing: "she hath brought a disgrace upon us all. She's the
vurst of the vamily that ever was a whore."
"You need not upbraid me with that, mother," cried Molly; "you
yourself was brought-to-bed of sister there, within a week after you
was married."
"Yes, hussy," answered the enraged mother, "so I was, and what was
the mighty matter of that? I was made an honest woman then; and if you
was to be made an honest woman, I should not be angry; but you must
have to doing with a gentleman, you nasty slut; you will have a
bastard, hussy, you will; and that I defy any one to say of me."
In this situation Black George found his family, when he came home
for the purpose before mentioned. As his wife and three daughters were
all of them talking together, and most of them crying, it was some
time before he could get an opportunity of being heard; but as soon as
such interval occurred, he acquainted the company with what Sophia had
said to him.
Goody Seagrim then began to revile her daughter afresh. "Here," says
she, "you have brought us into a fine quandary indeed. What will madam
say to that big belly? Oh that ever I should live to see this day!"
Molly answered with great spirit, "And what is this mighty place
which you have got for me, father?" (for he had not well understood
the phrase used by Sophia of being about her person). "I suppose it is
to be under the cook; but I shan't wash dishes for anybody. My
gentleman will provide better for me. See what he hath given me this
afternoon. He hath promised I shall never want money; and you shan't
want money neither, mother, if you will hold your tongue, and know
when you are well." And so saying, she pulled out several guineas, and
gave her mother one of them.
The good woman no sooner felt the gold within her palm, than her
temper began (such is the efficacy of that panacea) to be mollified.
"Why, husband," says she, "would any but such a blockhead as you not
have enquired what place this was before he had accepted it?
Perhaps, as Molly says, it may be in the kitchen; and truly I don't
care my daughter should be a scullion wench; for, poor as I am, I am a
gentlewoman. And thof I was obliged, as my father, who was a
clergyman, died worse than nothing, and so could not give me a
shilling of portion, to undervalue myself by marrying a poor man;
yet I would have you to know, I have a spirit above all them things.
Marry come up! it would better become Madam Western to look at home,
and remember who her own grandfather was. Some of my family, for aught
I know, might ride in their coaches, when the grandfathers of some
voke walked a-voot. I warrant she fancies she did a mighty matter,
when she sent us that old gownd; some of my family would not have
picked up such rags in the street; but poor people are always trampled
upon.- The parish need not have been in such a fluster with Molly.
You might have told them, child, your grandmother wore better things
new out of the shop."
"Well, but consider," cried George, "what answer shall I make to
madam?"
"I don't know what answer," says she; "you are always bringing
your family into one quandary or other. Do you remember when you
shot the partridge, the occasion of all our misfortunes? Did not I
advise you never to go into Squire Western's manor? Did not I tell you
many a good year ago what would come of it? But you would have your
own headstrong ways; yes, you would, you villain."
Black George was, in the main, a peaceable kind of fellow, and
nothing choleric nor rash; yet did he bear about him something of what
the antients called the irascible, and which his wife, if she had been
endowed with much wisdom, would have feared. He had long
experienced, that when the storm grew very high, arguments were but
wind, which served rather to increase, than to abate it. He was
therefore seldom unprovided with a small switch, a remedy of wonderful
force, as he had often essayed, and which the word villain served as a
hint for his applying.
No sooner, therefore, had this symptom appeared, than he had
immediate recourse to the said remedy, which though, as it is usual in
all very efficacious medicines, it at first seemed to heighten and
inflame the disease, soon produced a total calm, and restored the
patient to perfect ease and tranquillity.
This is, however, a kind of horse-medicine, which requires a very
robust constitution to digest, and is therefore proper only for the
vulgar, unless in one single instance, viz., where superiority of
birth breaks out; in which case, we should not think it very
improperly applied by any husband whatever, if the application was not
in itself so base, that, like certain applications of the physical
kind which need not be mentioned, it so much degrades and contaminates
the hand employed in it, that no gentleman should endure the thought
of anything so low and detestable.
The whole family were soon reduced to a state of perfect quiet;
for the virtue of this medicine, like that of electricity, is often
communicated through one person to many others, who are not touched by
the instrument. To say the truth, as they both operate by friction, it
may be doubted whether there is not something analogous between
them, of which Mr. Freke would do well to enquire, before he publishes
the next edition of his book.
A council was now called, in which, after many debates, Molly
still persisting that she would not go to service, it was at length
resolved, that Goody Seagrim herself should wait on Miss Western,
and endeavour to procure the place for her eldest daughter, who
declared great readiness to accept it: but Fortune, who seems to
have been an enemy of this little family, afterwards put a stop to her
promotion.