5. CHAPTER V.
An adventure which happened to Mr. Jones at his lodgings, with
some account of a young gentleman who lodged there, and of the
mistress of the house, and her two daughters
The next morning, as early as it was decent, Jones attended at
Mrs. Fitzpatrick's door, where he was answered that the lady was not
at home; an answer which surprized him the more, as he had walked
backwards and forwards in the street from break of day; and if she had
gone out, he must have seen her. This answer, however, he was
obliged to receive, and not only now, but to five several visits which
he made her that day.
To be plain with the reader, the noble peer had from some reason
or other, perhaps from a regard for the lady's honour, insisted that
she should not see Mr. Jones, whom he looked on as a scrub, any
more; and the lady had complied in making that promise to which we now
see her so strictly adhere.
But as our gentle reader may possibly have a better opinion of the
young gentleman than her ladyship, and may even have some concern,
should it be apprehended that, during this unhappy separation from
Sophia, he took up his residence either at an inn, or in the street;
we shall now give an account of his lodging, which was indeed in a
very reputable house, and in a very good part of the town.
Mr. Jones, then, had often heard Mr. Allworthy mention the
gentlewoman at whose house he used to lodge when he was in town.
This person, who, as Jones likewise knew, lived in Bond-street, was
the widow of a clergyman, and was left by him, at his decease, in
possession of two daughters, and of a compleat set of manuscript
sermons.
Of these two daughters, Nancy, the elder, was now arrived at the age
of seventeen, and Betty, the younger, at that of ten.
Hither Jones had dispatched Partridge, and in this house he was
provided with a room for himself in the second floor, and with one for
Partridge in the fourth.
The first floor was inhabited by one of those young gentlemen,
who, in the last age, were called men of wit and pleasure about
town, and properly enough; for as men are usually denominated from
their business or profession, so pleasure may be said to have been the
only business or profession of those gentlemen to whom fortune had
made all useful occupations unnecessary. Play-houses, coffee-houses,
and taverns were the scenes of their rendezvous. Wit and humour were
the entertainment of their looser hours, and love was the business
of their more serious moments. Wine and the muses conspired to
kindle the brightest flames in their breasts; nor did they only
admire, but some were able to celebrate the beauty they admired, and
all to judge of the merit of such compositions.
Such, therefore, were properly called the men of wit and pleasure;
but I question whether the same appellation may, with the same
propriety, be given to those young gentlemen of our times, who have
the same ambition to be distinguished for parts. Wit certainly they
have nothing to do with. To give them their due, they soar a step
higher than their predecessors, and may be called men of wisdom and
vertu (take heed you do not read virtue). Thus at an age when the
gentlemen above mentioned employ their time in toasting the charms
of a woman, or in making sonnets in her praise; in giving their
opinion of a play at the theatre, or of a poem at Will's or
Button's; these gentlemen are considering the methods to bribe a
corporation, or meditating speeches for the House of Commons, or
rather for the magazines. But the science of gaming is that which
above all others employs their thoughts. These are the studies of
their graver hours, while for their amusements they have the vast
circle of connoisseurship, painting, music, statuary, and natural
philosophy, or rather unnatural, which deals in the wonderful, and
knows nothing of Nature, except her monsters and imperfections.
When Jones had spent the whole day in vain inquiries after Mrs.
Fitzpatrick, he returned at last disconsolate to his apartment.
Here, while he was venting his grief in private, he heard a violent
uproar below-stairs; and soon after a female voice begged him for
heaven's sake to come and prevent murder. Jones, who was never
backward on any occasion to help the distressed, immediately ran
downstairs; when stepping into the dining-room, whence all the noise
issued, he beheld the young gentleman of wisdom and vertu just
before mentioned, pinned close to the wall by his footman, and a young
woman standing by, wringing her hands, and crying out, "He will be
murdered! he will be murdered!" and, indeed, the poor gentleman seemed
in some danger of being choaked, when Jones flew hastily to his
assistance, and rescued him, just as he was breathing his last, from
the unmerciful clutches of the enemy.
Though the fellow had received several kicks and cuffs from the
little gentleman, who had more spirit than strength, he had made it
a kind of scruple of conscience to strike his master, and would have
contented himself with only choaking him; but towards Jones he bore no
such respect: he no sooner therefore found himself a little roughly
handled by his new antagonist, than he gave him one of those punches
in the guts which, though the spectators at Broughton's amphitheatre
have such exquisite delight in seeing them, convey but very little
pleasure in the feeling.
The lusty youth had no sooner received this blow, than he
meditated a most grateful return; and now ensued a combat between
Jones and the footman, which was very fierce, but short; for this
fellow was no more able to contend with Jones than his master had
before been to contend with him.
And now, Fortune, according to her usual custom, reversed the face
of affairs. The former victor lay breathless on the ground, and the
vanquished gentleman had recovered breath enough to thank Mr. Jones
for his seasonable assistance; he received likewise the hearty
thanks of the young woman present, who was indeed no other than Miss
Nancy, the eldest daughter of the house.
The footman, having now recovered his legs, shook his head at Jones,
and, with a sagacious look, cried- "O d--n me, I'll have nothing more
to do with you; you have been upon the stage, or I'm d--nably
mistaken." And indeed we may forgive this his suspicion; for such was
the agility and strength of our heroe, that he was, perhaps, a match
for one of the first-rate boxers, and could, with great ease, have
beaten all the muffled[21] graduates of Mr. Broughton's school.
N.B.- Mr. Broughton proposes, with proper assistance, to open an
academy at his house in the Haymarket, for the instruction of those
who are willing to be initiated in the mystery of boxing: where the
whole theory and practice of that truly British art, with all the
various stops, blows, cross-buttocks, etc., incident to combatants,
will be fully taught and explained; and that persons of quality and
distinction may not be deterred from entering into A course of those
lectures, they will be given with the utmost tenderness and regard
to the delicacy of the frame and constitution of the pupil, for
which reason muffles are provided, that will effectually secure them
from the inconveniency of black eyes, broken jaws, and bloody noses.
The master, foaming with wrath, ordered his man immediately to
strip, to which the latter very readily agreed, on condition of
receiving his wages. This condition was presently complied with, and
the fellow was discharged.
And now the young gentleman, whose name was Nightingale, very
strenuously insisted that his deliverer should take part of a bottle
of wine with him; to which Jones, after much entreaty, consented,
though more out of complacence than inclination; for the uneasiness of
his mind fitted him very little for conversation at this time. Miss
Nancy likewise, who was the only female then in the house, her mamma
and sister being both gone to the play, condescended to favour them
with her company.
When the bottle and glasses were on the table, the gentleman began
to relate the occasion of the preceding disturbance.
"I hope, sir," said he to Jones, "you will not from this accident
conclude, that I make a custom of striking my servants, for I assure
you this is the first time I have been guilty of it in my remembrance,
and I have passed by many provoking faults in this very fellow, before
he could provoke me to it; but when you hear what hath happened this
evening, you will, I believe, think me excusable. I happened to come
home several hours before my usual time, when I found four gentlemen
of the cloth at whist by my fire;- and my Hoyle, sir- my best Hoyle,
which cost me a guinea, lying open on the table, with a quantity of
porter spilt on one of the most material leaves of the whole book.
This, you will allow, was provoking; but I said nothing till the
rest of the honest company were gone, and then gave the fellow a
gentle rebuke, who, instead of expressing any concern, made me a
pert answer, 'That servants must have their diversions as well as
other people; that he was sorry for the accident which had happened to
the book, but that several of his acquaintance had bought the same for
a shilling, and that I might stop as much in his wages, if I pleased.'
I now gave him a severer reprimand than before, when the rascal had
the insolence to-- In short, he imputed my early coming home to-- In
short, he cast a reflection-- He mentioned the name of a young lady,
in a manner- in such a manner that incensed me beyond all patience,
and, in my passion, I struck him."
Jones answered, "That he believed no person living would blame
him; for my part," said he, "I confess I should, on the last-mentioned
provocation, have done the same thing."
Our company had not sat long before they were joined by the mother
and daughter, at their return from the play. And now they all spent
a very chearful evening together; for all but Jones were heartily
merry, and even he put on as much constrained mirth as possible.
indeed, half his natural flow of animal spirits, joined to the
sweetness of his temper, was sufficient to make a most amiable
companion; and notwithstanding the heaviness of his heart, so
agreeable did he make himself on the present occasion, that, at
their breaking up, the young gentleman earnestly desired his further
acquaintance. Miss Nancy was well pleased with him; and the widow,
quite charmed with her new lodger, invited him, with the other, next
morning to breakfast.
Jones on his part was no less satisfied. As for Miss Nancy, though a
very little creature, she was extremely pretty, and the widow had
all the charms which can adorn a woman near fifty. As she was one of
the most innocent creatures in the world, so she was one of the most
chearful. She never thought, nor spoke, nor wished any ill, and had
constantly that desire of pleasing, which may be called the happiest
of all desires in this, that it scarce ever fails of attaining its
ends, when not disgraced by affectation. In short, though her power
was very small, she was in her heart one of the warmest friends. She
had been a most affectionate wife, and was a most fond and tender
mother. As our history doth not, like a newspaper, give great
characters to people who never were heard of before, nor will ever
be heard of again, the reader may hence conclude, that this
excellent woman will hereafter appear to be of some importance in
our history.
Nor was Jones a little pleased with the young gentleman himself,
whose wine he had been drinking. He thought he discerned in him much
good sense, though a little too much tainted with town-foppery; but
what recommended him most to Jones were some sentiments of great
generosity and humanity, which occasionally dropt from him; and
particularly many expressions of the highest disinterestedness in
the affair of love. On which subject the young gentleman delivered
himself in a language which might have very well become an Arcadian
shepherd of old, and which appeared very extraordinary when proceeding
from the lips of a modern fine gentleman; but he was only one by
imitation, and meant by nature for a much better character.
[[21]]
Lest posterity should be puzzled by this epithet,
I think proper to explain it by an advertisement which was published Feb. 1, 1747.