8. CHAPTER VIII.
Containing scenes of altercation, of no very uncommon kind
Mrs. Honour had scarce sooner parted from her young lady, than
something (for I would not, like the old woman in Quevedo, injure
the devil by any false accusation, and possibly he might have no
hand in it)- but something, I say, suggested itself to her, that by
sacrificing Sophia and all her secrets to Mr. Western, she might
probably make her fortune. Many considerations urged this discovery.
The fair prospect of a handsome reward for so great and acceptable a
service to the squire, tempted her avarice; and again, the danger of
the enterprize she had undertaken; the uncertainty of its success;
night, cold, robbers, ravishers, all alarmed her fears. So forcibly
did all these operate upon her, that she was almost determined to go
directly to the squire, and to lay open the whole affair. She was,
however, too upright a judge to decree on one side, before she had
heard the other. And here, first, a journey to London appeared very
strongly in support of Sophia. She eagerly longed to see a place in
which she fancied charms short only of those which a raptured saint
imagines in heaven. In the next place, as she knew Sophia to have much
more generosity than her master, so her fidelity promised her a
greater reward than she could gain by treachery. She then
cross-examined all the articles which had raised her fears on the
other side, and found, on fairly sifting the matter, that there was
very little in them. And now both scales being reduced to a pretty
even balance, her love to her mistress being thrown into the scale
of her integrity, made that rather preponderate, when a circumstance
struck upon her imagination which might have had a dangerous effect,
had its whole weight been fairly put into the other scale. This was
the length of time which must intervene before Sophia would be able to
fulfil her promises; for though she was intitled to her mother's
fortune at the death of her father, and to the sum of £3000 left her
by an uncle when she came of age; yet these were distant days, and
many accidents might prevent the intended generosity of the young
lady; whereas the rewards she might expect from Mr. Western were
immediate. But while she was pursuing this thought the good genius
of Sophia, or that which presided over the integrity of Mrs. Honour,
or perhaps mere chance, sent an accident in her way, which at once
preserved her fidelity, and even facilitated the intended business.
Mrs. Western's maid claimed great superiority over Mrs. Honour on
several accounts. First, her birth was higher; for her
great-grandmother by the mother's side was a cousin, not far
removed, to an Irish peer. Secondly, her wages were greater. And
lastly, she had been at London, and had of consequence seen more of
the world. She had always behaved, therefore, to Mrs. Honour with that
reserve, and had always exacted of her those marks of distinction,
which every order of females preserves and requires in conversation
with those of an inferior order. Now as Honour did not at all times
agree with this doctrine, but would frequently break in upon the
respect which the other demanded, Mrs. Western's maid was not at all
pleased with her company; indeed, she earnestly longed to return
home to the house of her mistress, where she domineered at will over
all the other servants. She had been greatly, therefore,
disappointed in the morning, when Mrs. Western had changed her mind on
the very point of departure; and had been in what is vulgarly called a
glouting humour ever since.
In this humour, which was none of the sweetest, she came into the
room where Honour was debating with herself in the manner we have
above related. Honour no sooner saw her, than she addressed her in the
following obliging phrase: "Soh, madam, I find we are to have the
pleasure of your company longer, which I was afraid the quarrel
between my master and your lady would have robbed us of."- "I don't
know, madam," answered the other, "what you mean by we and us. I
assure you I do not look on any of the servants in this house to be
proper company for me. I am company, I hope, for their betters every
day in the week. I do not speak on your account, Mrs. Honour; for
you are a civilized young woman; and when you have seen a little
more of the world, I should not be ashamed to walk with you in St.
James's Park."- "Hoity toity!" cries Honour, "madam is in her airs, I
protest. Mrs. Honour, forsooth! sure, madam, you might call me by my
sir-name; for though my lady calls me Honour, I have a sir-name as
well as other folks. Ashamed to walk with me, quotha! marry, as good
as yourself, I hope."- "Since you make such a return to my civility,"
said the other, "I must acquaint you, Mrs. Honour, that you are not so
good as me. In the country, indeed, one is obliged to take up with all
kind of trumpery; but in town I visit none but the women of women of
quality. Indeed, Mrs. Honour, there is some difference, I hope,
between you and me."- "I hope so too," answered Honour: "there is
some difference in our ages, and- I think in our persons." Upon
speaking which last words, she strutted by Mrs. Western's maid with
the most provoking air of contempt; turning up her nose, tossing her
head, and violently brushing the hoop of her competitor with her
own. The other lady put on one of her most malicious sneers, and said,
"Creature! you are below my anger; and it is beneath me to give ill
words to such an audacious saucy trollop; but, hussy, I must tell you,
your breeding shows the meanness of your birth as well as of your
education; and both very properly qualify you to be the mean
serving-woman of a country-girl."- "Don't abuse my lady," cries
Honour: "I won't take that of you; she's as much better than yours as
she is younger, and ten thousand times more handsomer."
Here ill luck, or rather good luck, sent Mrs. Western to see her
maid in tears, which began to flow plentifully at her approach; and of
which being asked the reason by her mistress, she presently acquainted
her that her tears were occasioned by the rude treatment of that
creature there- meaning Honour. "And, madam," continued she, "I could
have despised all she said to me; but she hath had the audacity to
affront your ladyship, and to call you ugly- Yes, madam, she called
you ugly old cat to my face. I could not bear to hear your ladyship
called ugly."- "Why do you repeat her impudence so often?" said Mrs.
Western. And then turning to Mrs. Honour, she asked her "How she had
the assurance to mention her name with disrespect?"- "Disrespect,
madam!" answered Honour; "I never mentioned your name at all: I said
somebody was not as handsome as my mistress, and to be sure you know
that as well as I."- "Hussy," replied the lady, I will make such a
saucy trollop as yourself know that I am not a proper subject of
your discourse. And if my brother doth not discharge you this
moment, I will never sleep in his house again. I will find him out,
and have you discharged this moment."- "Discharged!" cries Honour;
"and suppose I am: there are more places in the world than one. Thank
Heaven, good servants need not want places; and if you turn away all
who do not think you handsome, you will want servants very soon; let
me tell you that."
Mrs. Western spoke, or rather thundered, in answer; but as she was
hardly articulate, we cannot be very certain of the identical words;
we shall therefore omit inserting a speech which at best would not
greatly redound to her honour. She then departed in search of her
brother, with a countenance so full of rage, that she resembled one of
the furies rather than a human creature.
The two chambermaids being again left alone, began a second bout
at altercation, which soon produced a combat of a more active kind. In
this the victory belonged to the lady of inferior rank, but not
without some loss of blood, of hair, and of lawn and muslin.