4. CHAPTER IV.
Containing such very deep and grave matters, that some readers,
perhaps, may not relish it
Square had no sooner lighted his pipe, than, addressing himself to
Allworthy, he thus began: "Sir, I cannot help congratulating you on
your nephew; who, at an age when few lads have any ideas but of
sensible objects, is arrived at a capacity of distinguishing right
from wrong. To confine anything, seems to me against the law of
nature, by which everything hath a right to liberty. These were his
words; and the impression they have made on me is never to be
eradicated. Can any man have a higher notion of the rule of right, and
the eternal fitness of things? I cannot help promising myself, from
such a dawn, that the meridian of this youth will be equal to that
of either the elder or the younger Brutus."
Here Thwackum hastily interrupted, and spilling some of his wine,
and swallowing the rest with great eagerness, answered, "From
another expression he made use of, I hope he will resemble much better
men. The law of nature is a jargon of words, which means nothing. I
know not of any such law, nor of any right which can be derived from
it. To do as we would be done by, is indeed a Christian motive, as the
boy well expressed himself; and I am glad to find my instructions have
borne such good fruit."
"If vanity was a thing fit," says Square, "I might indulge some on
the same occasion; for whence only he can have learnt his notions of
right or wrong, I think is pretty apparent. If there be no law of
nature, there is no right nor wrong."
"How!" says the parson, "do you then banish revelation? Am I talking
with a deist or an atheist?"
"Drink about," says Western. "Pox of your laws of nature! I don't
know what you mean, either of you, by right and wrong. To take away my
girl's bird was wrong, in my opinion; and my neighbour Allworthy may
do as he pleases; but to encourage boys in such practices, is to breed
them up to the gallows."
Allworthy answered, "That he was sorry for what his nephew had done,
but could not consent to punish him, as he acted rather from a
generous than unworthy motive." He said, "If the boy had stolen the
bird, none would have been more ready to vote for a severe
chastisement than himself; but it was plain that was not his
design": and, indeed, it was as apparent to him, that he could have no
other view but what he had himself avowed. (For as to that malicious
purpose which Sophia suspected, it never once entered into the head of
Mr. Allworthy.) He at length concluded with again blaming the action
as inconsiderate, and which, he said, was pardonable only in a child.
Square had delivered his opinion so openly, that if he was now
silent, he must submit to have his judgment censured. He said,
therefore, with some warmth, "That Mr. Allworthy had too much
respect to the dirty consideration of property. That in passing our
judgments on great and mighty actions, all private regards should be
laid aside; for by adhering to those narrow rules, the younger
Brutus had been condemned of ingratitude, and the elder of parricide."
"And if they had been hanged too for those crimes," cried
Thwackum, "they would have had no more than their deserts. A couple of
heathenish villains! Heaven be praised we have no Brutuses now-a-days!
I wish, Mr. Square, you would desist from filling the minds of my
pupils with such antichristian stuff; for the consequence must be,
while they are under my care, its being well scourged out of them
again. There is your disciple Tom almost spoiled already. I
overheard him the other day disputing with Master Blifil that there
was no merit in faith without works. I know that is one of your
tenets, and I suppose he had it from you."
"Don't accuse me of spoiling him," says Square. "Who taught him to
laugh at whatever is virtuous and decent, and fit and right in the
nature of things? He is your own scholar, and I disclaim him. No,
no, Master Blifil is my boy. Young as he is, that lad's notions of
moral rectitude I defy you ever to eradicate."
Thwackum put on a contemptuous sneer at this, and replied, "Ay,
ay, I will venture him with you. He is too well grounded for all
your philosophical cant to hurt. No, no, I have taken care to instil
such principles into him--"
"And I have instilled principles into him too," cries Square.
"What but the sublime idea of virtue could inspire a human mind with
the generous thought of giving liberty? And I repeat to you again,
if it was a fit thing to be proud, I might claim the honour of
having infused that idea."-
"And if pride was not forbidden," said Thwackum, "I might boast of
having taught him that duty which he himself assigned as his motive."
"So between you both," says the squire, "the young gentleman hath
been taught to rob my daughter of her bird. I find I must take care of
my partridge-mew. I shall have some virtuous religious man or other
set all my partridges at liberty." Then slapping a gentleman of the
law, who was present, on the back, he cried out, "What say you to
this, Mr. Counsellor? Is not this against law?"
The lawyer with great gravity delivered himself as follows:-
"If the case be put of a partridge, there can be no doubt but an
action would lie; for though this be feræ naturæ, yet
being reclaimed, property vests: but being the case of a singing bird,
though reclaimed, as it is a thing of base nature, it must be
considered as nullius in bonis. In this case, therefore, I conceive
the plaintiff must be non-suited; and I should disadvise the
bringing any such action."
"Well," says the squire, "if it be nullus bonus, let us drink
about, and talk a little of the state of the nation, or some such discourse
that we all understand; for I am sure I don't understand a word of
this. It may be learning and sense for aught I know: but you shall
never persuade me into it. Pox! you have neither of you mentioned a
word of that poor lad who deserves to be commended: to venture
breaking his neck to oblige my girl was a generous-spirited action:
I have learning enough to see that. D--n me, here's Tom's health! I
shall love the boy for it the longest day I have to live."
Thus was the debate interrupted; but it would probably have been
soon resumed, had not Mr. Allworthy presently called for his coach,
and carried off the two combatants.
Such was the conclusion of this adventure of the bird, and of the
dialogue occasioned by it; which we could not help recounting to our
reader, though it happened some years before that stage or period of
time at which our history is now arrived.