3. CHAPTER III.
Containing several dialogues
The morning in which Mr. Jones departed, Mrs. Western summoned
Sophia into her apartment; and having first acquainted her that she
had obtained her liberty of her father, she proceeded to read her a
long lecture on the subject of matrimony; which she treated not as a
romantic scheme of happiness arising from love, as it hath been
described by the poets; nor did she mention any of those purposes
for which we are taught by divines to regard it as instituted by
sacred authority; she considered it rather as a fund in which
prudent women deposit their fortunes to the best advantage, in order
to receive a larger interest for them than they could have elsewhere.
When Mrs. Western had finished, Sophia answered, "That she was
very incapable of arguing with a lady of her aunt's superior knowledge
and experience, especially on a subject which she had so very little
considered, as this of matrimony."
"Argue with me, child!" replied the other; "I do not indeed expect
it. I should have seen the world to very little purpose truly, if I am
to argue with one of your years. I have taken this trouble, in order
to instruct you. The antient philosophers, such as Socrates,
Alcibiades, and others, did not use to argue with their scholars.
You are to consider me, child, as Socrates, not asking your opinion,
but only informing you of mine." From which last words the reader
may possibly imagine, that this lady had read no more of the
philosophy of Socrates, than she had of that of Alcibiades; and indeed
we cannot resolve his curiosity as to this point.
"Madam," cries Sophia, "I have never presumed to controvert any
opinion of yours; and this subject, as I said, I have never yet
thought of, and perhaps never may."
"Indeed, Sophy," replied the aunt, "this dissimulation with me is
very foolish. The French shall as soon persuade me that they take
foreign towns in defence only of their own country, as you can
impose on me to believe you have never yet thought seriously of
matrimony. How can you, child, affect to deny that you have considered
of contracting an alliance, when you so well know I am acquainted with
the party with whom you desire to contract it?- an alliance as
unnatural, and contrary to your interest, as a separate league with
the French would be to the interest of the Dutch! But however, if
you have not hitherto considered of this matter, I promise you it is
now high time, for my brother is resolved immediately to conclude
the treaty with Mr. Blifil; and indeed I am a sort of guarantee in the
affair, and have promised your concurrence."
"Indeed, madam," cries Sophia, "this is the only instance in which I
must disobey both yourself and my father. For this is a match which
requires very little consideration in me to refuse."
"If I was not as great philosopher as Socrates himself," returned
Mrs. Western, "you would overcome my patience. What objection can
you have to the young gentleman?"
"A very solid objection, in my opinion," says Sophia- "I hate him."
"Will you never learn a proper use of words?" answered the aunt.
"Indeed, child, you should consult Bailey's Dictionary. It is
impossible you should hate a man from whom you have received no
injury. By hatred, therefore, you mean no more than dislike, which
is no sufficient objection against your marrying of him. I have
known many couples, who have entirely disliked each other, lead very
comfortable genteel lives. Believe me, child, I know these things
better than you. You will allow me, I think, to have seen the world,
in which I have not an acquaintance who would not rather be thought to
dislike her husband than to like him. The contrary is such
out-of-fashion romantic nonsense, that the very imagination of it is
shocking."
"Indeed, madam," replied Sophia, "I shall never marry a man I
dislike. If I promise my father never to consent to any marriage
contrary to his inclinations, I think I may hope he will never force
me into that state contrary to my own."
"Inclinations!" cries the aunt, with some warmth. "Inclinations! I
am astonished at your assurance. A young woman of your age, and
unmarried, to talk of inclinations! But whatever your inclinations may
be, brother is resolved; nay, since you talk of inclinations, I
shall advise him to hasten the treaty. Inclinations!"
Sophia then flung herself upon her knees, and tears began to trickle
from her shining eyes. She entreated her aunt, "to have mercy upon
her, and not to resent so cruelly her unwillingness to make herself
miserable;" often urging, "that she alone was concerned, and that
her happiness only was at stake."
As a bailiff, when well authorized by his writ, having possessed
himself of the person of some unhappy debtor, views all his tears
without concern; in vain the wretched captive attempts to raise
compassion; in vain the tender wife bereft of her companion, the
little prattling boy, or frighted girl, are mentioned as inducements
to reluctance. The noble bumtrap, blind and deaf to every circumstance
of distress, greatly rises above all the motives to humanity, and into
the hands of the gaoler resolves to deliver his miserable prey.
Not less blind to the tears, or less deaf to every entreaty of
Sophia was the politic aunt, nor less determined was she to deliver
over the trembling maid into the arms of the gaoler Blifil. She
answered with great impetuosity, "So far, madam, from your being
concerned alone, your concern is the least, or surely the least
important. It is the honour of your family which is concerned in
this alliance; you are only the instrument. Do you conceive, mistress,
that in an intermarriage between kingdoms, as when a daughter of
France is married into Spain, the princess herself is alone considered
in the match? No! it is a match between two kingdoms, rather than
between two persons. The same happens in great families such as
ours. The alliance between the families is the principal matter. You
ought to have a greater regard for the honour of your family than
for your own person; and if the example of a princess cannot inspire
you with these noble thoughts, you cannot surely complain at being
used no worse than all princesses are used."
"I hope, madam," cries Sophia, with a little elevation of voice,
"I shall never do anything to dishonour my family; but as for Mr.
Blifil, whatever may be the consequence, I am resolved against him,
and no force shall prevail in his favour."
Western, who had been within hearing during the greater part of
the preceding dialogue, had now exhausted all his patience; he
therefore entered the room in a violent passion, crying, "D--n me
then if shatunt ha'un, d--n me if shatunt, that's all- that's all;
d--n me if shatunt."
Mrs. Western had collected a sufficient quantity of wrath for the
use of Sophia; but she now transferred it all to the squire.
"Brother," said she, "it is astonishing that you will interfere in a
matter which you had totally left to my negotiation. Regard to my
family hath made me take upon myself to be the mediating power, in
order to rectify those mistakes in policy which you have committed
in your daughter's education. For, brother, it is you- it is your
preposterous conduct which hath eradicated all the seeds that I had
formerly sown in her tender mind. It is you yourself who have taught
her disobedience."- "Blood!" cries the squire, foaming at the mouth,
"you are enough to conquer the patience of the devil! Have I ever
taught my daughter disobedience?- Here she stands; speak honestly,
girl, did ever I bid you be disobedient to me? Have not I done
everything to humour and to gratify you, and to make you obedient to
me? And very obedient to me she was when a little child, before you
took her in hand and spoiled her, by filling her head with a pack of
court notions. Why- why- why- did I not overhear you telling her she
must behave like a princess? You have made a Whig of the girl; and how
should her father, or anybody else, expect any obedience from
her?"- "Brother," answered Mrs. Western, with an air of great
disdain, "I cannot express the contempt I have for your politics of
all kinds; but I will appeal likewise to the young lady herself,
whether I have ever taught her any principles of disobedience. On
the contrary, niece, have I not endeavoured to inspire you with a true
idea of the several relations in which a human creature stands in
society? Have I not taken infinite pains to show you, that the law
of nature hath enjoined a duty on children to their parents? Have I
not told you what Plato says on that subject?- a subject on which you
was so notoriously ignorant when you came first under my care, that
I verily believe you did not know the relation between a daughter
and a father."- "'Tis a lie," answered Western. "The girl is no such
fool, as to live to eleven years old without knowing that she was
her father's relation."- "O! more than Gothic ignorance," answered
the lady. "And as for your manners, brother, I must tell you, they
deserve a cane."- "Why then you may gi' it me, if you think you are
able," cries the squire; "nay, I suppose your niece there will be
ready enough to help you."- "Brother," said Mrs. Western, "though I
despise you beyond expression, yet I shall endure your insolence no
longer; so I desire my coach may be got ready immediately, for I am
resolved to leave your house this very morning."- "And a good
riddance too," answered he; "I can bear your insolence no longer, an
you come to that. Blood! it is almost enough of itself to make my
daughter undervalue my sense, when she hears you telling me every
minute you despise me."- "It is impossible, it is impossible," cries
the aunt; "no one can undervalue such a boor."- "Boar," answered the
squire, "I am no boar; no, nor ass; no, nor rat neither, madam.
Remember that- I am no rat. I am a true Englishman, and not of your
Hanover breed, that have eat up the nation."- "Thou art one of those
wise men," cries she, "whose nonsensical principles have undone the
nation; by weakening the hands of our government at home, and by
discouraging our friends and encouraging our enemies abroad."- "Ho!
are you come back to your politics?" cries the squire: "as for those I
despise them as much as I do a f--t." Which last words he accompanied
and graced with the very action, which, of all others, was the most
proper to it. And whether it was this word or the contempt exprest for
her politics, which most affected Mrs. Western, I will not
determine; but she flew into the most violent rage, uttered phrases
improper to be here related, and instantly burst out of the house. Nor
did her brother or her niece think proper either to stop or to
follow her; for the one was so much possessed by concern, and the
other by anger, that they were rendered almost motionless.
The squire, however, sent after his sister the same holloa which
attends the departure of a hare, when she is first started before
the hounds. He was indeed a great master of this kind of vociferation,
and had a holla proper for most occasions in life.
Women who, like Mrs. Western, know the world, and have applied
themselves to philosophy and politics, would have immediately
availed themselves of the present disposition of Mr. Western's mind,
by throwing in a few artful compliments to his understanding at the
expense of his absent adversary; but poor Sophia was all simplicity.
By which word we do not intend to insinuate to the reader, that she
was silly, which is generally understood as a synonymous term with
simple; for she was indeed a most sensible girl, and her understanding
was of the first rate; but she wanted all that useful art which
females convert to so many good purposes in life, and which, as it
rather arises from the heart than from the head, is often the property
of the silliest of women.