4. CHAPTER IV.
Which we hope will be very attentively perused by young people of
both sexes
Partridge had no sooner left Mr. Jones, than Mr. Nightingale, with
whom he had now contracted a great intimacy, came to him, and, after a
short salutation, said, "So, Tom, I hear you had company very late
last night. Upon my soul you are a happy fellow, who have not been
in town above a fortnight, and can keep chairs waiting at your door
till two in the morning." He then ran on with much commonplace
raillery of the same kind, till Jones at last interrupted him, saying,
"I suppose you have received all this information from Mrs. Miller,
who hath been up here a little while ago to give me warning. The
good woman is afraid, it seems, of the reputation of her daughters."
"Oh! she is wonderfully nice," says Nightingale, "upon that account;
if you remember, she would not let Nancy go with us to the
masquerade." "Nay, upon my honour, I think she's in the right of
it," says Jones: "however, I have taken her at her word, and have sent
Partridge to look for another lodging." "If you will," says
Nightingale, "we may, I believe, be again together; for, to tell you a
secret, which I desire you won't mention in the family, I intend to
quit the house to-day." "What, hath Mrs. Miller given you warning too,
my friend?" cries Jones. "No," answered the other; "but the rooms
are not convenient enough. Besides, I am grown weary of this part of
the town. I want to be nearer the places of diversion; so I am going
to Pall-mall." "And do you intend to make a secret of your going
away?" said Jones. "I promise you," answered Nightingale, "I don't
intend to bilk my lodgings; but I have a private reason for not taking
a formal leave." "Not so private," answered Jones; "I promise you, I
have seen it ever since the second day of my coming to the house. Here
will be some wet eyes on your departure. Poor Nancy, I pity her,
faith! Indeed, Jack, you have played the fool with that girl. You have
given her a longing, which I am afraid nothing will ever cure her of."
Nightingale answered, "What the devil would you have me do? would
you have me marry her to cure her?" "No," answered Jones, "I would not
have had you make love to her, as you have often done in my
presence. I have been astonished at the blindness of her mother in
never seeing it." "Pugh, see it!" cries Nightingale. "What the devil
should she see?" "Why, see," said Jones, "that you have made her
daughter distractedly in love with you. The poor girl cannot conceal
it a moment; her eyes are never off from you, and she always colours
every time you come into the room. Indeed, I pity her heartily; for
she seems to be one of the best-natured and honestest of human
creatures." "And so," answered Nightingale, "according to your
doctrine, one must not amuse oneself by any common gallantries with
women, for fear they should fall in love with us." "Indeed, Jack,"
said Jones, "you wilfully misunderstand me; I do not fancy women are
so apt to fall in love; but you have gone far beyond common
gallantries." "What, do you suppose," says Nightingale, "that we
have been a-bed together?" "No, upon my honour," answered Jones, very
seriously, "I do not suppose so ill of you; nay, I will go farther,
I do not imagine you have laid a regular premeditated scheme for the
destruction of the quiet of a poor little creature, or have even
foreseen the consequence: for I am sure thou are a very good-natured
fellow, and such a one can never be guilty of a cruelty of that
kind; but at the same time you have pleased your own vanity, without
considering that this poor girl was made a sacrifice to it; and
while you have had no design but of amusing an idle hour, you have
actually given her reason to flatter herself that you had the most
serious designs in her favour. Prithee, Jack, answer me honestly; to
what have tended all those elegant and luscious descriptions of
happiness arising from violent and mutual fondness? all those warm
professions of tenderness, and generous disinterested love? Did you
imagine she would not apply them? or, speak ingenuously, did not you
intend she should?" "Upon my soul, Tom," cries Nightingale, "I did not
think this was in thee. Thou wilt make an admirable parson. So I
suppose you would not go to bed to Nancy now, if she would let you?"
"No," cries Jones, "may I be d--n'd if I would." "Tom, Tom," answered
Nightingale, "last night; remember last night--
When every eye was closed, and the pale moon,
And silent stars, shone conscious of the theft."
"Lookee, Mr. Nightingale," said Jones, "I am no canting hypocrite,
nor do I pretend to the gift of chastity, more than my neighbours. I
have been guilty with women, I own it; but am not conscious that I
have ever injured any.- Nor would I, to procure pleasure to myself,
be knowingly the cause of misery to any human being."
"Well, well," said Nightingale, "I believe you, and I am convinced
you acquit me of any such thing."
"I do, from my heart," answered Jones, "of having debauched the
girl, but not from having gained her affections."
"If I have," said Nightingale, "I am sorry for it; but time and
absence will soon wear off such impressions. It is a receipt I must
take myself; for, to confess the truth to you- I never liked any girl
half so much in my whole life; but I must let you into the whole
secret, Tom. My father hath provided a match for me with a woman I
never saw; and she is now coming to town, in order for me to make my
addresses to her."
At these words Jones burst into a loud fit of laughter; when
Nightingale cried- "Nay, prithee, don't turn me into ridicule. The
devil take me if I am not half mad about this matter! my poor Nancy!
Oh! Jones, Jones, I wish I had a fortune in my own possession."
"I heartily wish you had," cries Jones; "for, if this be the case, I
sincerely pity you both; but surely you don't intend to go away
without taking your leave of her?"
"I would not," answered Nightingale, "undergo the pain of taking
leave, for ten thousand pounds; besides, I am convinced, instead of
answering any good purpose, it would only serve to inflame my poor
Nancy the more. I beg, therefore, you would not mention a word of it
to-day, and in the evening, or to-morrow morning, I intend to depart."
Jones promised he would not; and said, upon reflection, he
thought, as he had determined and was obliged to leave her, he took
the most prudent method. He then told Nightingale he should be very
glad to lodge in the same house with him; and it was accordingly
agreed between them, that Nightingale should procure him either the
ground floor, or the two pair of stairs; for the young gentleman
himself was to occupy that which was between them.
This Nightingale, of whom, we shall be presently obliged to say a
little more, was in the ordinary transactions of life a man of
strict honour, and, what is more rare among young gentlemen of the
town, one of strict honesty too; yet in affairs of love he was
somewhat loose in his morals; not that he was even here as void of
principle as gentlemen sometimes are, and oftener affect to be; but it
is certain he had been guilty of some indefensible treachery to women,
and had, in a certain mystery, called making love, practised many
deceits, which, if he had used in trade, he would have been counted
the greatest villain upon earth.
But as the world, I know not well for what reason, agree to see this
treachery in a better light, he was so far from being ashamed of his
iniquities of this kind, that he gloried in them, and would often
boast of his skill in gaining of women, and his triumphs over their
hearts, for which he had before this time received some rebukes from
Jones, who always exprest great bitterness against any misbehaviour to
the fair part of the species, who, if considered, he said, as they
ought to be, in the light of the dearest friends, were to be
cultivated, honoured, and caressed with the utmost love and
tenderness; but, if regarded as enemies, were a conquest of which a
man ought rather to be ashamed than to value himself upon it.