University of Virginia Library

30. LETTER XXX.

Some of the real “Simon Pures” at the White House
—Awkwardness of Mr. McLooney, a new Member of
the Kitchen Cabinet—The General is thereby Pothered,
and falls into sundry Mistakes—Prosperous
times at home—A Family Dinner—Some good Jobs
in Prospect—A small “Business Transaction” with
the Treasury—A general “Hurraw” for “Glory,”
&c.

In my last letter I tell'd you about my presentin
to the Gineral them two Committees
from New-York—one of the Marchants and
Traders, and tother of the Mechanics, and
how the Gineral thought the last come right
from Tammany Hall, and got into a plagy
mistake about it. But I tell'd you that the
rale Tammany folks did come; and now I'm
goin to tell you what a high time we had here.

I got the list of names of the Committee,
and I and the Gineral went to work readin on
'em over and over, so as to git 'em glib—so,
when the hour come, we got the room to
rights, and the Gineral took his stand right in

the middle on't, and I stood a leetle ahead on
him, and Dennis McLooney, who I tell'd you
about in my last, he said he best git by the door
with the list of names, and call 'em out for
us, and so let 'em come up to the Gineral one
at a time, and then there would be no mistake
—He said that was exactly the way at all the
great folks' houses in Ireland. But when
they come, you never see sich work as Dennis
made on't—he stopped the first one; and instead
of lettin the man tell him what his name
was, Dennis wanted to know if he was so and
so: he took the first name on the list, and
arter he'd tried 'em all round, he took the next
name and tried 'em a spell at that,—and so
on. I couldn't hear all that was said, for Dennis
ony opened the door jist wide enuff to put
his own head out, and kept talkin and scoldin
like all natur; so to rights the Gineral call'd
out, and says he, `Mr. McLooney, stand aside,'
says he, `and let our friends come in:' but
Dennis jam'd the door right too, and turned
and tell'd the Gineral he didn't believe they
were the persons the Gineral expected; and
so I had to go and let 'em in myself; and to
keep Dennis out of trouble, I tell'd him to go
in a corner, and look and larn somethin of
American manners, afore he come to play
Irish here: and so in they come—but there
was ony three on 'em, and that made things
easy for me; and as the Gineral remembered
as many of the names, he stepped up to 'em,
and shook hands with 'em, and called 'em by
the three first names on the list—to one he
said, `I am glad to welcome the man who
was once Mayor of New-York, and I hope to
see you Mayor agin,' says the Gineral—`and
you, my friend, I thank you once more for
bringing me on here, jist arter my first election,
that big bald-headed eagle: I was so busy
then I had not time to do it; I am sorry to
tell you that noble bird is dead,—but I presarved
all I could of him; I stuffed my armchair
cushion with his feathers; my friend
Mrs. E. made a fan of his tail, and I keep his
quills to write my Proclamations and Vetoes
with:' and so the Gineral shook hands agin;
and to rights, says he, `where is the rest on
you?' and he took up the list and read all their
names over; and then come trouble. They
told the Gineral nary one on 'em ever had bin
Mayor, and none on 'em ever sent an Eagle to
the Gineral; but one said he had the honour
of makin the furniter for the Gineral's room,
when he was on at York, on the Grand tower;
and then he handed the Gineral his card, tellin
about his work; and another stepp'd up, and
tell'd the Gineral he had the honour of sellin
it at auction arter the Gineral was done usin
on't; and he gin the Gineral another card,
tellin what his business was in York. The
Gineral look'd at 'em a spell, and then he
looked at t'other one; but he had no card; he
said he didn't do no business, because he had
an office under the Goverment. The Gineral
begun to think there was another mistake;
and he look'd at me, and I tipp'd him a wink,
and jest whisper'd in his ear, `try 'em on
Glory a spell, Gineral,' says I, `and there will
be no mistake arter that;' and so the Gineral
went at it,—and sure enuff you never see
critters spruce up as they did; and the further
the Gineral got into Glory and Reform, the
louder these critters hurraw'd for us; and
Dennis got at it too; and that made jest six
on us, and we settled up matters as clear as a
whistle. There warn't no distress nowhere;
one said, mahogany was as cheap as pine
boards was a spell ago, and so was labour;
and if the Gineral would ony go on and put
down the Bank, and would give him an order
to make him some tables, he would show the
difference; another said times never was better
for his business,—for he expected this spring
to have the sellin of nigh upon all the household
furniture in New-York; and the other
said he was content, so long as the party hung
together, for he got his honest livin out of the
public money, and that didn't belong to nobody
but the Gineral; and then we all turn'd too agin,
and had another spell of Glory and hurrawin.

The Gineral was tickled most desperately;
and he tell'd 'em all to stay and take dinner
with us: and as soon as Congress was let out
we had a good large party, and we all sot
down and talk'd over matters; and as we had
now jest the kind of folks from New-York to
tell the Congress folks and all other friends
what the rale state of things was North, and
that there warn't no distress there, and them
other fellers I tell'd you about in my last letter
ony come here to throw dust in our eyes.
Evry thing was now as light as sun shine, and
it will take a good many Committees and Petitions
too to make the Gineral budge an inch now.

The Gineral tell'd these good folks from
Tammany Hall, he'd like to have 'em stay
here as long as Congress remains here, and
they may come and put up in the White
House, and they shan't spend a cent of their
own money. As soon as the Gineral said that,
one on 'em got up from the table and walked

round to the Gineral, and whispered somethin
in the Gineral's ear. For a spell the Gineral
looked plagy blank, and all I could hear him
say was, `What'—`Rent'—`Can't pay.' `I
see,' says the Gineral, `how it is—that's Biddle's
work—I'll disappint him:' and with that
he call'd Amos, and whispered somethin to
him, and he whisper'd somethin to Tawney,
and he whisper'd agin to Major Blair, and so
it went round, till one on 'em got up and went
over to the Treasury, and brought in some
money, and the Gineral settled up that matter
pretty quick. And so that's pretty much all
I've got to say about this Tammany Committee—and
if you want to know about some
other things that's goin on here that I hain't
got time to write about, I'd advise you to read
Dennis McLooney's letters; he writes a leetle
evry day to his friends in Ireland; and to git
it home safe, he tells me he sends his letters
to Mr. King, who prints the New-York American.
Dennis and I are pretty good friends,
considering—but he says he don't like the
Yankees a bit; and, to be even with him, I tell
him I like his countrymen amazingly—so we
wont quarrel on that hook. Yours, &c.