University of Virginia Library

10. LETTER X.

My good old friend,—I send you a letter
I writ to the Gineral last night—he told me
to write to him threw the papers. Some of
the printers here wanted me to give them the
printin on 'em, but if I let any body but you
print 'em first, folks can't tell which is genwine—some
fellows write so much like me,
that I am stump'd sometimes myself, and put
to't as bad as Captain Jumper, of the Two
Pollies, and President of the Downingville
Bank, was a spell ago, when a fellow bro't him
a note on his Bank; some said it was `genwine,'
and some said it warn't. It was so
slick a kounterfit the Captain didn't know
himself—`so,' says he, `it looks a leetle like a
kounterfit, and then agin it don't—and my notion
is, it's about midlin.'[1]

The letter I now send you to print don't
amount to nothin. I want to git to York
first, and will go there to-morrow or next

day, and arter that I'll tell the Gineral and all
our folks all about it. If you see Zekel Bigelow,
tell him not to go home till I come on; I
want to see him dreadfully.

Major Downing's Letter to the President, describing
his Visit to the United States Bank.

Dear Gineral,—I had eny most as much
trouble in gittin here as I had when I come
on with `the Goverment' a spell ago; but I
tell'd the folks I had no time now to lose, and
couldn't talk politics; and that I was on argent
business. They all wanted to know how you
was; and I tell'd 'em you was as hard as
granit, and no rot about you.

As soon as I got here, I took a look into
Squire Biddle's Bank agin, and found every
thing there pretty much as I left 'em when I
was there afore. If any thing, he's got a
little more of the rale chink. Squire Biddle
was glad to see me, and was plaguy good-natured.
He said he was sorry that `the Goverment'

continued to feel kinder wrathy
agin the Bank; `but,' says he, `Major, we
are ready for them.' Jest then our old Quaker
friend come in—the same old gentleman,
you remember, who came to see us one mornin,
and call'd you `friend Andrew,' and kept
his hat on all the while. He was as spunky as
thunder; and when a Quaker gits his dander
up, it's like a norwester. He said he was sore
troubled, and that he was afraid that evil disposed
folks were busy, and tryin to inger you.
He said he had been in trade over 40 years,
and knew all about it, and Banks too; and
that jest so sure as his friend Andrew didn't
put a stop to this war agin the United States
Bank, it would bring more injury on the
country than universal nullification. I tell'd
him that you didn't want to injure nobody—
that all you wanted was to git hold of the
right eend of every thing, and then hold on
like a snappin turtle. And then we sat down,
and he talk'd for more than three hours, and
till he couldn't talk no more. He is a rale
friend of ourn; and the last thing he said was,
he hoped you wouldn't let any one deceive
you about the Bank, for though the change
might give a few persons some cream, all the
rest would git nothin but skim milk and bonny
clabber. I am glad I met him, for he telled
me more than I had any ide on; and the
more I see, the more sartin I am that Banks
and Trade and money matters are pretty considerable
ticklish things; and when you think
a thing must be jest so, it comes out jest tother
way.

Squire Biddle don't look streaked at all
when I talk to him about our takin our money
away from him. He says he don't care a button
whether we take it away or not. And
upon the whole, the Bank could do better
without our custom than with it. He don't
say nothin agin nobody; but he is gittin to be
pretty saucy about it, I tell you. And well he
may be; and if he warn't a good-natur'd crittur,
he would be crabbed and crooked enuff by
this time, for we have been poundin on him
now nigh upon three years. He says as long
as he sees a black cloud risin, he don't think
it safe to make more sail; and it's his business
to keep as much sail on his ship as he
can without splitten 'em.

Every body I see here says, that Amos Kindle's
journey this summer was nigh about as
bad as the Colera Morbus last summer; and

on the whole, they don't know which is worst.
You know I tell'd you as much afore he
started; and the last thing Zekel Bigelow
said to me, when we was in Downingville—
says he, `Major, don't you advise the Gineral
to meddle with that Bank affair. I see trouble
in it,' says he; and Zekel is no fool, I tell
you. And Captain Jumper said, too, he would
jest about as soon think of runnin the Two
Pollies threw Nantucket Shoals at midnight,
without a lead. All these things, and my own
notion too, made me look into it pretty sharp,
to say nothin about them plaguy Safety Fund
notes that got into our wallets, and stick there
yet. The more I see here, the more sartin I
am that I've got a right notion on't. There
is money enuff here; but it is pretty much as
I hearn tell on in the old war—the folks keep
it stow'd away so long as there is trouble
brewin. But I won't say more about it now,
till I get to York, where they say they are
worse off. I have been busy enuff ever since
I've been here; and they tell me things are
gittin a little more easy, on account of my
tellin 'em that you won't do nothin afore I git
back agin.

I have met only a few here who think it

would be best to have a new Bank, and nock
this one down. But when I come to corner
'em about it, it turns out pretty much like a
pesky squabble we had once in Downingville
about the School House—one said it warn't
big enuff—and Ezra Gleason, a squint-ey'd
fellow, said it ought to be a round one, and
Seth Sprague ought to set right in the middle
on't. But Zekel Bigelow made a speech about
it—and the Deacon was moderator:—and
says he, `we've got a school house, and a good
stun one too—if it ain't big enuff, we'll nock
one eend out on't, and make it bigger. What
do you mean by nockin on't all to bits—jest
to git more money out of the district? Can
you put a better ruff on't than it's got now?—
can you build better walls?—and who wants
a round one, with the master's seat in the
middle on't? You know, Mr. Moderator, that
Seth don't squint; and no one can manage a
round house unless he does; and so we must
nock down our good old solid School House,
jest to give new jobs, and build a round one
to suit a man who can't look another strait in
the face.' Zekel carried the day as slick as a
whistle; and the old School House stands yet
—big enuff, and strong enuff, and square as a
brick.

I'll write to you agin as soon as I git to
York. I send you by the transportation line
a tub of rale sweet butter, made on purpose
for you, by —; the address is nailed on inside
the kiver. Tell Major Donaldson, when
he writes the answer to it, not to say nothin
agin the Bank, for every body here, and all the
butter makers, won't take home with them
from market nothin but Biddle's Bills; for
they all say they are better than hard dollars.