University of Virginia Library

15. LETTER XV.

Favourable news of the Broker's business from Zekel
—Squire Biddle a Jackson man—A real jaw in the
Long Room—An editor put in advance of the news.

We have just got the election news from
Philadelphy, and I and the Gineral aint over
and above tickled by it after all, seein that our
folks promised us to get the hull on't, and
Girard's money too. But I tell him we'll git
that next year; and as we have now got the
deposits out of the bank, it's glory enuff for
one spell.

I got a letter from Zekel Bigelow t'other
day, who I see is pretty busy now in Wall-street,
and will soon take the shine off the
most of the Brokers there. He says he and
the rest of the Brokers got nocked all aback by
Squire Biddle agreein to take the branch notes
from the deposit banks, instead of lettin them
banks send them away west and south themselves
and which would cost them or the Goverment

about 3 per cent., unless they let the
Brokers do it for a trifle less. This move of
Squire Biddle seems to puzzle the Brokers
considerable: and Zekel says this aint the first
time the Squire has trod on the toes of the
Brokers. And as Zekel is now turned Broker
himself, he don't seem to like the Squire as
well as he used to; but he thinks the Squire
can't stand it long, and that he only does it now
because we have a little money left in his
bank, and as soon as we take that away, and
which we are doin now as fast as we can, that
then the Squire will say he has nothin more
to do with the Goverment, and let ev'ry bank
take care of its own bills—or, as Zekel says,
let ev'ry man `skin his own skunks.' And
then it's Zekel's notion the Brokers will have
their day. He says, as it is, he is makin a
good livin in shavin drafts from ¼ to 1½ per
cent, which the U. S. Bank used to take and
collect for nothin. He is however plaguy wrathy
with the deposit banks in New-York makin
money so plenty there; for Mr. Taney, our new
Secretary of the Treasury, has tell'd 'em to
use up in New York pretty much all the Goverment
money they collect there (and they
collect pretty much the hull on't)—and so
Zekel thinks there will be trouble away west,
where they hain't got as many banks and as
much mony as they have in Wall-street, and
so he thinks of takin a turn down there soon,
for he says there is no chance for Brokers
where money is as plenty as blackberries.

The keenest folks we've got to look out for
us about the country is the District Attorneys.
They hain't got much to do now in the way
of their office, and we make 'em attend to
other matters. We've got a rale sharp little
fellow to keep an eye out on Squire Biddle,
and got him in the Bank too. So that the
Squire can't get round him no way. That
report he made to the Gineral t'other day, was
nigh upon as good as my Bank report. In
some things it is much better; for my `report'
only tell'd folks what I saw, and what I knew,
—but his goes a trifle further—it tells the
Gineral pretty much all about what he didn't
see, and what he don't know, and that's more
than most folks can do; and gives things a
plaguy curious lawyer's twist, that helps us
along considerable. I suppose now the Squire
will answer this, and tell all about it; and we
was plaguy fraid he'd do it before the election
in Philadelphy. But it wo'nt do him no good

now; we have had the first lick at him, and
that, the Gineral says, is the best part of the
battle. I and the Gineral was lookin over the
accounts that I had taken when I was examinin
the Bank—and comparin them with this
'cute little fellow's report, and once and a while
the Gineral would snort out, I tell you. And,
says he, `Major, if by any chance we lose Amos
Kindle, we must git that little District Attorney
here with us—he's a puzzler, aint he?
`That he is,' says I, `Gineral; but I'm afraid,'
says I, `that the Squire will puzzle him, and us
too, when he comes out with his reply.'

`But there is one thing, Major,' says the
Gineral, `that I don't see how Biddle can git
round; and that is, how he dares to take upon
himself to do what only could be done by the
Directors. Look at the Charter; there it is as
plain as A. B. C. He has no right to do a
single thing, unless the Directors are all present,
and agree to it.' `Well,' says I, `Gineral,
that is a puzzler; and yet all the Bank folks
say he does right; and its more their business
than ourn. And,' says I, `Gineral, come to
think on't, and the notion never struck me before,
but I begin now to believe that Squire
Biddle is a rale Jackson man.' `Why,' says he,

`Major, you are as crazy as a mad rooster—
how can you make that out?' `Why,' says I, `I
do raly believe when the Squire did any thing
without the Directors, he said, I take the
responsibility.' The Gineral got up, stamp'd
round a spell; and, says he, `Major, you beat
all natur.' But this tickled the Gineral considerable.
`Well,' says he, `Major, if I only
knew he said so, I'd put all the deposits back
again in the Bank to-morrow; for I do like
a man who aint afraid of responsibility.'

We come nigh havin a pretty considerable
riot here last night. I and the Gineral had
been to bed about two hours, and had jest got
threw talkin over matters, and got into a kinder
doze, when we was startled by the tarnalest
racket you ever hear tell on. The Gineral
jump'd right on eend, and run and got his
hickory, and I arter him, with the only thing I
could get hold on handily—`Never mind your
Regimentals and Corderoys, Major,' says he,
and down stairs we went, side by side, and I a
leetle ahead on him;—for I always like to
lead into scrapes, and out of scrapes. There
is a long room where the most of our folks git
together, to talk over matters every night, and
eat supper; and sometimes they git into a

kinder squabble, but keep quiet. But this
time some how they was in a terrible takin
and smashin things. They was all at it, Editors,
and Auditors, and Secretaries' Clerks, and
under Post Masters, and Contractors, jawin
and poundin one another, and Amos among
the thickest on em. The Gineral look'd on for
about a minit, and, says he, `Major, shall I go
in, or will you? I don't like to do it,' says he,
`for they have all done us much sarvice, but
we cant let this riot go on.' `Well,' says I, `Gineral,
do you give me your Hickory,' and, says
I, `I'll go at 'em, and make short work.' `Take
care, Major,' says he, `how you hit, and who you
hit.' `Never mind,' says I, `Gineral, I'll take the
responsibility.' `Will you,' says he; `well, here's
my Hickory;—for,' says he, `Major, tho' I dare
do eny most any thing, I must confess I dare
not take that responsibility.' And with that he
went to bed, and I went at 'em, and such a
time I never had. The first clip I made was
at Amos,—but he dodged it, and I hit one of
the Editors of the Globe, and nocked him
about into the middle of next week.—One fellow
got a fryin pan and made fight, but it was
no use, for in less than a minit I cleared 'em
all. As soon as they come to know who it was,
they kinder tried to curry favor; and one said
one thing, and one another; and every one
tried to shuffle off upon the others; it was a
considerable spell before I could get the cause
on't; and then it turn'd out that the dispute
began about the public deposits, and the next
President, and a new Bank, and Mr. Duane
and Squire Biddle, and Mr. Van Buren,—and
all mixed up so, I couldn't make head nor tail
on't.' `Now,' says I, `my boys, make an eend
on't:' and with that I slap'd the old Hickory
down on the table, and I made their teeth
chatter. `My dander is up,' says I; `and one
word more and I'm down upon you. What,'
says I, `a riot here at midnight—aint it glory
enuff for you,' says I, `to sarve under the Gineral?
If it ain't,' says I, `then I'm mistaken,
and Mr. Van Buren too,—for he thinks it is,
—and I think so too. And now,' says I, `no
more jawin'—and I left them; and when I got
back to the Gineral, I found him in a terrible
takin; and it was nigh upon day light afore
we could git to sleep. He was all the while
talkin about Amos Kindle, and the rest on'em;
and I do raly believe the Gineral would never
have gone to sleep, unless I tell'd him I would
stick by him; and whenever the folks about
us got into a snarl, if he would only lend me
his Hickory, `I'd take the responsibility.'