University of Virginia Library

[OMITTED]

near his bleeding side. Oh his love, his boundless Mercy. How
it comforts me to think that while I loved him so much, that
Jesus, yes Jesus, the friend of sinners, loved him much more. I
never had a just idea of the character of my Saviour until now.
I always felt that he was the Sinner's friend, & showed great
love in dying for us. I never knew how much I loved my husband
until after he was taken from me, and oh, if he loved him more
than I didaswe are assured he did & much more, what must be the
highth, the depth, the length, the breadth of his love towards
us. I could write on this way it seems to me all my life, but I
ought to stop, for I fear I have already written more than you
are able to read. I hope to be with you soon & we will then be
able to talk & commune much more satisfactorily. I am very anxious
to see you but all of my friends over here are opposed to my going
now. I wanted to go with Pa, but I will have to let them decide
for me. My heart longs to get to the resting place of my loved
one. I want to strew his grave over with flowers, & bedew them
with my tears. Oh I feel like if I could get there once I would
want to go down to him & press once more his lips. Sometimes I
feel like there is nothing left me thats worth living for. My
little children are still with me, but I feel that I am not fit
to raise them without their father to aid me, & that their friends
would do a better part by them than I am capable of doing. I do
want to feel submissive to the will of my heavenly Father. I want
to feel more than I do all things have been ordered for the best:
There is a spirit of repining about me that I want to get rid of.
Oh it seems so strange, so hard that my dear husband was taken
from his devoted little family, when others who care nought for
their families, & are not respected in the eyes of the world are
spared. I fear tis a rebellious spirit & I want it subdued. Oh
I have so much to contend with.

The little children are pretty well. Lucy has improved very
much in last week. Little Minnie when asked where her Pa is says
he dead, & where he went when he died, she says to heaven. I sometimes
ask her if she is going to try to be a good child & go to
heaven & see her Pa. She laughs, claps her little hands & says
yes. I want you to see her. I know she would be a great comfort to
you. She is beginning to talk a good deal.

I came from Brothers last Saturday, they were very much
distressed at little Franks death, but Pa was there yesterday &
said they were as cheerful as usual while he was there. I am glad
to hear that Sister Mag is over for it distressed me greatly to
think that she was kept ignorant of his illness. On my way home
from Brothers I called to enquire after him, but he would not let
me come away without seeing me, he looked very badly, & was suffering
with a blister I hope he will be well soon. I have to be
constantly changing my place of stay, & think of going down in a
few days to see them at the University & Mr. Stevens.

My health is only tolerably good. I still cough & suffer
with my side. I sometimes think that ere long I will be called to
meet my loved one in the happy land, where with his Father & others
who went before him, he is now praising him who bought him with
his blood.

Give a great deal of love to cousin Mary Kyle, & cousin

Diana. How is poor cousin Julia? I hope she is finding more
comfort. Much love to her for me. And poor cousin Fannie Hunter.
How much I feel for her, & aunt Baxter. My love to them also.
And to Mrs. Stevens, Mr. & Mrs. Wheelwright & all enquiring
friends. I wrote to Bro. Wheelwright the other day & asked him
to write an obituary for the Advocate & Register. I dont like
the one published in the Town papers. It may be that you had
better let him see this before he writes & see if I mentioned
any thing more to you than to him.

The family one & all send much love to you, Sister Mary
& Carrie. May grace abundantly be given us to bear up under our
great bereavement, & may all of us be greatly profited by it &
be better fitted to meet our dear one in Heaven is the prayer
of your deeply afflicted daughter.