University of Virginia Library

I have been thinking of you so much to-day, that I cannot
resist the inclination I feel to communicate with you in some way.
I hope my dear that I am not doing wrong in thus yielding to my
wishes on the sab bath day, of speaking some few words of love to
one who has become to me a second and a better self. I cannot tell
you all the feelings of love to you with which my heart has been
swelling to-day, and with what j oy I have b een reflecting upon
the strength of our mutual affection. How grateful I feel to our
Heavenly Father for giving me unworthy as I am the ardent affection
of such a heart, and one to lean upon so trustingly. Oh! my dear
Frank, I do want to make you an obedient gentle wife, to know no
other earthly will but your's, but such is the stubbornness and
pride of my heart, that although such are ny feelings now and whenever
thinking calmly. I cannot conceal from myself that many occasions
and seasons must occur to put these right desires to the test,
and many must be my failures in duty unless supported by grace from
on high, and to this end I trust that your prayers will ascend with
mine often and earnestly. You know dearest I have often felt misgivings
and even repugnance to entering upon the marriage relation,
but now that the time is drawing near when we shall be indissolubly
united, I am so thankful that my feelings have undergone a change.
I now yield myself with such readiness, yea with what joy to my
husband's arms, and feel myself so unutterably blessed by his love.
I have not one lingering fear now, but I long to be yours, wholly
yours, my own kind love. And as day by day I feel more sensibly how
exactly the wants of our natures are supplied, by this reciprocal
love, so graciously implanted in our bosoms by our Heavenly Father,
I feel that I cannot sufficiently bless God for his great goodness.
And what reason it gives us to trust him for the future happiness
of our immortal spirits, when our temporal interests are so kindly
cared for. Yes! my dear Frank, when feelings of gushing tenderness
for one another cause our bosoms to throb with joy, let us sanctify
the Lord God in our hearts and give him the praise, thus ennobling
and elevating, at the same time that we inhance mere earthly enjoyments
by making them the occasion of magnifying the Lord our God.
My dearest love I hope that I am not wearying you, and that it is
not wrong to speak thus candidly the sentiments of my heart. I daresay
it is not prudent to commit such thoughts to paper, but then I
know whom I am confiding in, and that no eye but that for which it
is intended will ever read these words. We are so much together my
dear love that we are scarcely conscious until separated of the
strength of our attachment, and indeed Frank you ought never to
doubt the depth of my love, for at times when scarce conscious of the
existence of ought but every day ordinary affections there comes up
such an upwelling outgushing of intense feelings from the fountain
of my soul, as when a tiny rivulet swollen by heavy rains becomes
a mighty dashing torrent, sweeping all before it, so my whole being
seems absorbed by one emotion. Love love love. Let us be swallowed
up in love! but pure love, holy love, to the Creator first and

creature next. God help us both to love purely and fervently, and
may our earthly union sweet and endearing though it be being only
the type of a more lasting more perfect one with our blessed Saviour
above, animate us to renewed diligence in seeking to make our calling
& election sure. How many internal evidences we have of the truth
of our holy religion in seeing how delicately adapted is the nature
of the creature to the will of the Creator. I love my Frank so dearly,
so devotedly, that were I a poor deluded Roman seeking to gain
Heaven by self denial and good works (rather say hard works) I could
certainly prove my sincerity in seeking my soul's salvation by
throwing myself into a convent. I daresay such would have been my
fate, had I been so situated, for I am by nature rather inclined to
such things, but how different the teaching of the Bible, the word
of inspiration says "Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands
as unto the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife even as Christ
is the head of the church, and he is the Saviour of the body. Then
how safely I can indulge the natural affections of my heart, with
such words in my mind, and dearest whether a triumph of human love
or divine grace I know not, both I trust, even my proud unbending
heart feels there is a sweetness, a fitness in the command to reverence
& obey one's husband, and it will be a welcome day to me when
Frank cam claim such obedience from me as his wedded wife. I hope
you will excuse all that is amiss in this letter my own true love,
for the warmth of my affection must make my excuse, and I should not
think such a plea could be made in vain to a lover. There are so
many instances of forbearance and patience on your part towards me
when wayward and fretful, that I cannot help feeling thankful for
having experienced such demonstrations of regard from you, at the
same time that it fills me with humility. I trust that by the grace
and help of God, I may hereafter be of a more meek & gentle spirit.
Pray for me dearest.