67. LXVII.
NOT ENNY SHANGHI FOR ME.
The shanghi ruseter is a gentile, and speaks in a
forrin tung. He is bilt on piles like a Sandy Hill
crane. If he had bin bilt with 4 legs, he wud resembel
the peruvian lama. He is not a game animil, but
quite often cums off sekund best in a ruff and tumble
fite; like the injuns, tha kant stand sivilization,
and are fast disappearing. Tha roost on the ground,
similar tew the mud turkle. Tha oftin go to sleep
standing, and sum times pitch over, and when tha
dew, tha enter the ground like a pickaxe. Thare
food consis ov korn in the ear. Tha crow like a
jackass, troubled with the bronskeesucks. Tha will
eat as mutch tu onst as a district skule master, and
ginerally sit down rite oph tew keep from tipping
over. Tha are dredful unhandy tew cook, yu hav
tu bile one eend ov them tu a time, yu kant git
them awl into a potash kittle tu onst. The femail
ruster lays an eg as big as a kokernut, and is sick for a
week afterwards, and when she hatches out a litter
of yung shanghis she has tew brood them standing,
and then kant kiver but 3 ov them — the rest stand
around on the outside, like boys around a cirkus tent,
gitting a peep under the kanvas when ever tha kan.
The man who fust brought the breed into this kuntry
ought tew own them all and be obliged tew feed
them on grasshoppers, caught bi hand. I never
owned but one and he got choked tu deth bi a kink
in a clothes line, but not until he had swallered 18
feet ov it. Not enny shanghi for me, if yu pleze; i
wuld rather board a travelling kolporter, and as for
eating one, giv me a biled owl rare dun, or a turkee
buzzard, roasted hole, and stuffed with a pair ov injun
rubber boots, but not enny shanghi for me, not a
shanghi!
