17. XVII.
ANSWERS TO CONTRIBUTORS.
“Lines tu a sleeping infant, bi Alice,” receaved.
Tha are tender, dredful tender, almost tu
tender, tu keep thru this hot spel; yu hav talons ov
the highest order, but yu must kross yure t's, or yu
kant suckeed in portri; good bi Alice!
“Reverie ov a Bachelor,” Anonimous. — Received,
and kontents noted. Thare iz only one
trubble with this produckshun, which time will correckt,
and that iz, “it wont du at all for our collums,”
respekfully declined, (on the part ov the edditurs,
by J. B.) on account ov its length and thickness.
“The Sea, the roarin Sea.” — A sublime standzas,
wurth at least 7 dollars, intended, undoubtedly,
for The Atlantic Monthly, and cent tu us bi mistake,
we wud like tu accept it, but dassent, fur fere
folks mite sa we stole it.
“Will yu Kiss me Dearest,” Bi Mary Ann. —
Acksepted. We take all them kind ov chanses.
The potri ain't fust rate, but we expect the kissin
kan't be beat, till then, fair Maid ajew!
“A gealogikal synopsorum ov the heavenly
spears,” Bi Paul Vernon — Will appere in our nex
issu. This writer haz attaked a subjeck ov grate
differkilty, with the biggest kind ov energee, and
haz suckceeded; his thesis is admirable, hiz argyment
iz clus, and his stile is camphene. We sa
“Mount Vernon! on eagil wings, beyond the klouds,
and paint yure name rite over the top ov the door
that leads tu glory, Mount Vernon, mi boy!”
We predick grate poplarity for this writer, if he
aint kut oph by a frost.
“A Prairie on fire,” Bi Diogoneze. — Rejeckted
to onst. Tu hot for the sezon — cool artikles take
the best now. It made me swet tu rede the manuskrip.
“Dont despair Diogoneze,” if yu find literature
aint yure stile, tri sawing wood; iv'e known
hundreds ov men make a dust sawing wood, who
want worth a cuss tu write for the nusepapirs.
“Wait a little longer,” Bi Eugene. — This potri
wants greasing. Thare aint nothin so eaza tu rite
az potri, if yu know how. Our advise tu this author
iz tu take pills, and if tha dont release him ov
his potri, he kan konklude he haz got the potri dizeaze
the natral wa, and iz liable tu brake out at
sumtime.
In konklusion, Fustly, we would sa tu moste
writers, “write often, and publish seldom.” Secondly,
tu sum writers, “write seldom and publish
seldemmer.”
