28. XXVIII.
PROVERBS OF THE BILLINGS FAMILY.
Humin natur is the same all over the world, cept in
Nu England, and thar its akordin tu sarcumstances.
A kodfish aristokrat alwus puts me in mind ov a
drunken man a tryin tu walk a krack.
Rum is good in its plase, and hel is the plase for
it.
Akordin tu skripter thar will be just about as
many Kammills in heavin as rich men.
When yu korte a widder, yu want tu du it with
spurs on.
Larfin at yure own story, while yu are tellin on
it, is a good dele like firing a gun oph thru the
tuch hole.
A pet lam, alwus makes a kross ram.
A live harte sumtimes gits intu a ded body, so
dus perls git intu jersa clams.
“Glory enuff for one da,” attendin a nigger
kamp meeting.
He who skorns to be inflooensed at tall by fashun
is a wize fool.
I am prepaired tu say tu sevin ov the rich men
out ov evry ten, makes the most ov yure money for
it makes the most ov yu.
If i had a boy who didn't lie well enuff tu sute
me, i wud set him tu tendin a retale dri good store.
Man was kreated a little lower than the angells
and has bin gittin a little lower ever sinse.
The moste oneasy kreetur i ever perused, was a
bob tale bull, in fli time.
When a feller gits a goin down hil, it dus seem
as tho evry thing had bin greased for the okashun.
I hav known folks whose calibre was very small,
but whose bore was very big.
The meanest man i ever nu was the one who stole
a suggar whissel from a nigger baby tu sweeten a
kup ov rye koffee with.
Pluk is a nise kompound ov pride, vanitee and
vartue.
Robbers are like rane, tha fall on the just and
the unjust.
We hate those who will not take our advise, and
despise them who do.
