7. VIII.
DEPOZETIONS.
Josh Billings being duly sworn deposes as follows:
That, John Brown haz halted a fu days for refreshment.
That, moste men had ruther sa a smart thing than
tew dew a good one.
That, baksliding iz a big thing, espeshila on ice.
That, a live traitor smells wuss than a ded one.
That, there iz 2 things in this life for which we
are never fully prepared, and that iz twins.
That, yu kant judge a man bi hiz religgun
eny more than yu kan judge hiz shurt bi the size ov
the collar and ristbands.
That, the devil iz alwus prepared tew see kompany.
That, it iz treating a man like a dog tew cut him
oph short in hiz narrative.
That, “ignoranse iz bliss,” ignoranse of sawing
wood, for instanse.
That, menny will fale tew be saved simpla bekause
tha haint got ennything tew saive.
That, the vartues ov woman are awl her own, but
her frailities hav bin taught her.
That, dry pastors are the best for flocks; flocks ov
sheep i mean.
That, men ov genius are like eagles, tha live on
what tha kill, while men ov talents are like crows,
tha live on what haz bin killed for them.
That, some peoples are fond ov bragging about
their ansesstors, and their grate descent, when in
fack, their grate descent iz jist what's the matter
ov them.
That, a woman kant keep a sekret nor let ennybody
else keep one.
That, “a little larning iz a dangerous thing; this
iz az tru az it iz common.
That, sider brandee taken inwardly in large quantitys
iz good — for a rat hole.
That, a grate menny folks have bin eddikated
oph from their feet.
