37. XXXVII.
WATCH DOGS.
Mi dearly beloved christian friend, did yu ever
visit enny body? Did yu ever visit enny boddy
who resided in the subburbs? Did yu ever visit
enny boddy who resided in the subburbs, and kept a
grate lank, watery-eyed, yeller dog, with very long
hare on hiz bak? — Did yu ever hav this grate lank,
yeller-devil dog cum loping down tu the frunt gate,
tu welcum yu with a hiena yowl, and with the long
hare on hiz bak pitching forward az tho it wud cum
out bi the rutes, and his tale awl swelled up like a
settin hen's? Kan yu rekolek the horrid fear that
seized upon yu, and froze yu fast tu the arth, az the
monster foamed in rage around yu? Yu gaze in
agny tords the hous — it seems 3 weeks at least.
At last the frunt door kautiously opens — yure
lady friend recognizes yu: “Bless me! Mrs. Bingler,
how glad i am tew cee yu! dew cum rite in.
How pale the walk has made yu! Tiger! Tiger!
hush yu! He is onla glad tew cee yu. Dew cum
rite in, Mrs. Bingler.” Mrs. Bingler, let me ask
yu a question, privately: “Dew yu kandidly think
that the luv yu bare for yure lady friend, Mrs.
Baremore, who livs in the subberbs, iz enny kind ov
atonement for the hate and horror that yu will alwus
hav for the grate lank, watery-eyed, yeller dog
Tiger that she keeps tew welcum her visitors with?
If yu dew, please address, postage paid,
Josh Billings,
Box 467, Pokeepsie sitty.
