23. XXIII.
FASHION.
Fashion is a compound mixtur ov much taist, and
sum vanitee. The taist that is into it, saives it
from ridikule. Fashun iz just az necessara tu govern
men and wimmin with, az sivil law; in fack
menny folks wud ruther brake a statu than tu ware
a cut tale tu short, or a bunnet tu obtuze.
Exsentrisity iz one thing, and fashun iz anuther
thing. We haint got no more rite tu laff at fashun,
than we hav tu laff at vittels. What a man, or
woman eats, if it iz well cooked, iz all rite, and
what tha ware, if it iz well cooked, is ditto. —
After fashuns hav had their da, then iz the time tu
despize them; just so it iz with vittels; cold vittels
for instanze.
Nobody iz tu blame for old fashuns. If our
grate grand mother shud meet our present mother,
both ov them dressed in the fashun ov their respektif
daze, tha wud go tu kalling each other old Fools,
and we should stan by, and offer tu bet on it. If
evry boddy had a fashun ov their own, it wud make
az mutch trubble az a shinplaster kurrensy. Them
that sett the fashun, aught tu be vartuous and big
minded, bekauze the morals ov a people are just about
az mutch inflooensed by fashun az tha are by religun.
In them daze, when tha had no partiklar fashun,
tha didn't hav partiklar enny thing else. It iz more
evidense ov vanitee to rejek fashun, than it iz tu
adopt it.
Evra boddy, more or lessly, hankers after fashun.
Fashun makes the poor ambishus, and it makes the
rich affabil; it makes the the vartuous cheerful, and
it makes the humbly kind ov handsum, and thare
iz no reson why it shud make the modest bold, enny
more than elegense shud make the butiful wicked.
Thare has alwus bin wolfs in sheeps clothing, and
fashun will okasionally be used for the same purpis,
but that aint enny reson why mutton aint good, nor
why fashun shud be hipokrasy. Bekauze sum peopil
are slaves tu fashun only proves its power, and yu will
find that thoze who are its slaves are ginerally free
from moste ov the big sins that humin natur iz subjec
tu. The big minded, and the noble, adopt fashun
jist az tha du enny uther proper kustom, simpla
bekause it iz the fashun.
It is tru that sum ov the fashuns are absurd, and
it is tru that sum ov the vartues are absurd also.
If a fashun kant be maid tu square itself tu the
rules ov either good cense or good taist, it aint fashun,
it is consait. A grate menny folks ced that
whoops was a failure, but tha held their own, and
grew nisely; tha are realy evra thing in a hot da.
I shud like tu set in one all thru Juli and August;
a feller wud be as cool as a dog's nose in a wire
muzzel.
The essa is thru.
[ILLUSTRATION]
The occasional effect of Santa Cruz Rum on a gentleman of
genial spirits.—See page 80.
[Description: 674EAF. Illustration page. Image of a portly gentleman with messed up hair and moustache.]
