2. II.
JOSH BILLINGS INSURES HIS LIFE.
I kum to the conclusion, lately, that life waz so
onsartin, that the only wa for me tu stand a fair
chance with other folks, was to git my life insured,
and so i kalled on the Agent of the “Garden Angel
life insurance Co.,” and answered the following
questions, which waz put tu me over the top ov a
pair of goold specks, by a slik little fat old feller,
with a little round gray head, and az pretty a little
belly on him az enny man ever owned: —
QUESTIONS.
1st—Are yu mail or femail? if so, Pleze state
how long you have been so.
2d—Are yu subjec tu fits, and if so, do yu hav
more than one at a time?
3d—What is yure precise fiteing weight?
4th—Did yu ever have enny ancestors, and if
so, how much?
5th—What iz yure legal opinion ov the constitutionality
ov the 10 commandments!
6th—Du yu ever hav enny nite mares?
7th—Are you married and single, or are yu a
Bachelor?
8th — Do yu beleave in a futer state? if yu du,
state it.
9th—What are yure private sentiments about a
rush ov rats tu the head; can it be did successfully?
10th—Hav yu ever committed suiside, and if so,
how did it seem to affect yu?
After answering the above questions, like a man
in the confirmatif, the slik little fat old fellow with
goold specks on, ced I was insured for life, and
proberly would remain so for a term ov years. I
thanked him, and smiled one ov my moste pensive
smiles.
