University of Virginia Library

7. CHAP. VII.

Monsieur Patrick, said Monsieur
Douperie, for understanding that he was
an Irishman, and thinking that all Irishmen
were named Patrick, he gave him
this appellation: Monsieur Patrick, said
he, il faut commencer, par les principes;
must begin by de principle.

La primiere principe, de first lessong
est placer les pieds; place de foot. Voyez;
dis foot, cy; comme cela, (shewing
him how to place his foot) and ce luy, dat
foot, la; comme dis foot. (Shewing him
by his own foot how to place it) Tournez
les pieds; open de foot, quoi! vous
ouvrez la bouche; vous open de mout, and
not de foot. Vous keep vos foot in de
same position, et vous baillez: you open
de mout. La secon principe, is to keep
de body droit; trait. Must sit firm sur
ses membres, on de limb. Tenez votre
body as dis (shewing him in what manner
to keep his body) assieyez vous, sur vos
membres, comme ce la; dis way Monsieur
Quoi! encore la bouche ouverte,

you open de mout again Monsieur Patrick.
Fermez la bouche, shut de mout.

I stop here to observe, that the opening
the mouth when an exertion of the mind
or body is required, is a habit very common
with uninformed men, and not at all
peculiar to Teague: you will observe,
that men, who have not been long, or at
least much in the habit of writing, when
they put pen to paper, open the
mouth, and protrude the tongue, moving
it, as the pen turns to the right hand
or to the left; or draws the stroke long
or short; and, you will see a cordwainer
of good skill in his trade, from mere habit,
and not any defect of art, put out his
tongue, and move it, as if it could guide
his hand, when he is parcing nicely the margin
of the soal of a shoe or boot: Having
made this observation in justice to the bog-trotter,
I return to my narration.

The Captain coming in at this point of
the business, made enquiry of Monsieur
Douperie, what success he appeared to
have with his pupil. Bien tolerable, Monsieur
Capitaine, said Monsieur Douperie,
ver tolerable: Monsieur es d'une tres
bonne naturel; ver good disposition. A
la commencement il ne faut pas nous
flatter, must not flatter, wid de plus haut

degre, du succes; at de first of de lessong.

The Captain, not so much from the
words of the dancing master, as from his
countenance, and the tone of his voice,
saw, that he was not so sanguine with
regard to the proficiency of the bog-trotter as he had been at first: Nevertheless,
he was not discouraged in suffering
Monsieur Douperie to go on with his
lessons; because he expected little more,
as has been said, than some improvement
of step and gait. Nor did he draw any
conclusion unfavorable with respect to the
attainments of the bog-trotter in a political
career; because he well that auk wardness
of manner is not at all inconsistent with
the highest literary and political abilities;
and that some of the greatest geniusess that
the world has produced have never been
able to attain the graces of behavior. The
poet Horace, says of Virgil; magnum
ingenium sub inculto corpore latet: and
the anecdote of Harley, earl of Oxford,
is well known; who, when Queen Anne
made him Lord Treasurer, his dancing
master expressed his astonishment, and
wondered what the Queen could see in
him; for he was the greatest dunce he
ever had at his school.

With these reflections withdrawing he
left the Frenchman to go on with his lesson.

La troisieme principe; de tird lessong,
said Monsieur Douperie, is to lift de foot;
you lift de foot, Monsieur Patrick, le pied
droit, de right foot furs; here Teague
raised the left, O! mon dieu, said the
dancing master, le pied droit, et non pas
le guache; de right foot, and not de left.
Est il possible, you no disting de right foot
from de left. Il faut lever le guache: a
la bonne heure, you lift de left foot.

Now, Monsieur Patrick; un pas avec
le pied guache; lift de left foot. Here
Teague lifted the right foot, thinking of
the former lesson, and willing to please the
dancing master by giving him that foot
which had seemed to be so much in request
with him. O! mon dieu, par blieu, said
Monsieur Douperie, est il possible you no
disting de right foot from de left?

It is observable of the French character
that while they preserve their temper,
they are all complaisance, and have the
sofest words imaginable; but when they
break, it is all at once, and they pass to
the opposite extreme of peevishness. It is
not altogether owing to an irritability of
nerve but to that system of politeness which

they cultivate; because when the chord of
civility is immoderately stretched by a concealment
of the feelings, when it is let
go, it flies the farther, and with the
quicker vibration, beyond the medium of
its tension.

O! mon dieu, par blieu, said the
Frenchman; and here he had almost said
foutre, which is one of the worst epithets
that is given, when great contempt is
about to be expressed.

However, composing his temper, and
resuming his instructions; he continued;
now Monsieur Patrick, said he, le pied
droit, lift de right foot. Here Teague,
as he had not pleased his instructor by what
he had done last, viz. lifting the right foot,
now lifted the left, being always at cross
purposes, as it were, or still too far forward,
or too far back in his motions, to
correspond with the directions given.

O! diable, diable, said the Frenchman,
raising his voice, and almost vociferating;
quoi ferai je? il est impossible d' instruire
cet garcon: no possible make you understand
fat I say, you do. Attendez vous,
Monsieur Patrick; you look at me, and
lift de foot dat I lift; now I lift de right
foot; lift de right foot.

Teague standing opposite the master,
and lifting that foot which was on the
same side with that of the instructor made
the same blunder as before, and lifted the
left foot.

Monsieur Douperie enraged beyond all
bearing, ran out of the room, and left
his scholar for the present.

The day after this, Monsieur Douperie,
having composed his temper and attending,
the Captain made enquiry, as usual, of the
progress of his pupil. The Frenchman
endeavoring to put the best face on the
matter, said some things of course and
complimentary; but could not help intimating
that it was une grand difficulty en
le commencement, in de beginning, to
make Monsieur disting de difference of de
right foot, and de left.

As to that, said the Captain, it is a national
incapacity; for which, as also for
their propensity to make what they call
bulls, it is difficult to account. There are
not a people more brave than the aborigines
of Ireland, and are far from being
destitute of talents, and yet there is a
certain liability to blunders, both in their
words and actions, that is singular. Whether
it is that a mind strong and vigorous,
and of extensive range cannot attend to

small things; or that a great flow and hurry
of animal spirits, carries them too fast
for reflection; or that there is a transposition
of the brain, so that things present
themselves by contraries to the imagination;
I cannot tell: but the fact is so that
in their own country, as I have been told,
when they are taught to dance, which,
by the bye, is a hint which I forgot to
give you, they bind on the right and left
foot different badges, on the one, a twisted
wisp of straw, which they call a sugan
and on the other a band of ozier twisted
in like manner, which they call a gad: so
that when the word is given to raise the
one foot, and depress the other, it is
rise upon sugan, and sink upon gad;
so, that though the tiro may not all at
once, and on the word given, be able to
distinguish the right foot from the left, he
may easily tell gad from sugan, as his eye
can assist his ear in this case; the object
being simple; whereas right and left
are relative terms, and that which is on
the right in one position, will be on the
left in the contrary.

Monsieur Douperie was willing to avail
himself of this hint, for understanding that
the bog-trotter was a candidate for state
affairs, he was greatly anxious to have the

honor of giving him some proficiency.
Accordingly, though he did not procure
a straw sugan, and an ozier gad, yet he
made use of what he thought might be
equivalent, viz. a red rag, and a blue;
so that instead of bidding him move the
right foot or the left, he could desire him
to move the red rag or the blue.

Having tied these upon his ancles next
morning, he began his lesson. Now,
Monsieur Patrick, said he, lift de foot
dat hab de red ribbon: Teague obeyed
with exactness and promptitude, and
raised that foot. Now, said Monsieur
Douperie, de foot dat hab de blue ribbon.
Teague hit the direction, and raised
the foot with the blue rag upon it.

A la bonne heure, vous y voila, said
the dancing master; ver glad Monsieur
Patrick you make so good proficiance; en
peu de tems, je vous presentera a l' assemble.
You danse ver well, short time.

La quatrieme principe, said the dancing
master, de fort lessong est former une pas,
to make de step. Voyez Monsieur Patrick,
fat I do. You make step, ne
pas long step, mais van little step. The
Irishman attempting to obey the directions
and to step, made a stride about an ell in
length with his arms stretched out, and

gaping at the same time. Foutre, said
the dancing master; quoi! Vous baillez;
you ope de mout yet. Oh, diable! diable!
foutre! une bete! But composing
himself, he proceeded. Rangez vous a
quartier; step to de van side, comme ce
la; shewing in what manner to step out
with one foot at right angles to the other.

The Irishman, endeavoring to confine
his feet to rule, felt himself as much embarrassed
as if chained by the heels; and
attempting to make the step as requested,
and making the usual exertions, with his
eyes staring, his arms stretched, and his
mouth open, lost the command of himself
on the floor, and being thrown from the
line of gravity, was about to fall, when to
save himself, he made a catch at the dancing
master, and drew him down with him.

The dancing master supposing that he
hand understood him, though in French,
when he used the term foutre, and called
him a beast, and resenting this, was about
to take vengeance, and having heard of
their mode of biting, gouging, &c. in
America, was much alarmed, and disposed
to throw himself on the generosity of the
Irishman, as not being able to contend
with him in strength: He exclaimed, O!
my lord Patrick, excusez moi, pardon,

Monsieur Patrick, je demand pardon.
Pauvre diable que je suis. I be van poor
dible. Vous etes un honnete homme.
Ver good man. Un homme brave, courageux,
absolument un homme brave,
gallant, tres brave, O! je suis un malheureux,
I be van poor dible. Je demand
pardon, my lord Patrick.

These were the exclamations of the
Frenchman, though, at the same time,
he was uppermost, but entangled by the
bog-trotter, who having still a hold of
him, was endeavoring to rise; which the
other was disposed to prevent, thinking
it adviseable to retain the advantage he
possessed, and to keep him down until he
could appease him by his entreaties, or
until help should arrive so continuing his
expostulation, he exclaimed, O! my lord
Patrick, faites moi, grace. I give you
my money. J'ai beacoup d'argent. I
give you an order sur mon intendant de
cent Louis; one, two, tree hundred
guinea. I forgive de compensation of de
lessong,

Teague, in the mean time, having understood
that chastisement was usually
given at school, for inattention or flowness
in acquiring the elements, and not understanding
broken French, conceived, that

the dancing master was expressing his resentment,
and about to inflict punishment;
and therefore endeavoured to excuse himself
by a speech on his part. God love
your shoul, said he, dont be after bateing
me, because I can't walk like a crippled
coose, just at once. By Shaint Patrick,
dis is like stoodying law in de workhouse,
where de first ting is a good bateing;
God love your shoul, let me up, and i'l
step as strait as a lame shape, or a dog
wid dis leg broke into de bargain.

By this time struggling, they were both
on their feet, the Frenchman, still calling
out, voulez vous me tuer; O! ma femme,
mes enfans, spare my life my lord
Patrick, and the bog-trotter beginning
to curse and swear, and to raise the Irish
howl.

Being disengaged, the dancing master
made his escape, and waiting on the Captain,
not wishing to be under the necessity
of giving any more lessons, gave him to
understand that Monsieur had made ver
good proficiance, en ver short time; that
he was capable to present himself in public
wid all de success possible; that it was not
necessary to give him any more lessons.

The Captain did not suppose that the
Irishman could have made such advances

as the politeness of the Frenchman would
lead him to believe, but he concluded he
might have acquired what would be sufficient
as a foundation for his obtaining some
decency, though not elegance in his manner
and deportment. Paying, therefore,
Monsieur Douperie the sum he demanded,
and thanking him for the pains he had
taken, the Frenchman withdrew.