University of Virginia Library

3. BOOK III.

1. CHAP. I.

PROCEEDING four or five miles,
they breakfasted; and afterwards, going
on a mile or two further, they came
to a church where a number of people
were convened, to hear the decision of an
ecclesiastical consistory, met there on an
affair which came before them. It was
this: Two men appeared, the one of a
grave aspect, with a black coat; the other
without the same clerical colour of garb;
but with papers in his pocket which announced
his authority to preach, and officiatate
as a clergyman. The man with
the black coat, averred, that coming over
together, in a vessel from Ireland, they
had been messmates; and while he was
asleep one night, being drowsy after prayers,

the other had stolen his credentials
from his pocket. The man in possession
of the papers, averred they were his own,
and that the other had taken his coat, and
by advantage of the cloth, thought to pass
for what he was not.

The consistory found it difficult, without
the aid of inspiration, to decide; and that
faculty having now ceased, there were no
other means, that they could see, to bring
the truth to light.

The Captain being informed of this perplexity,
could not avoid stepping up, and
addressing them as follows: Gentlemen,
said he, there is a text in your own Scripture,
which, I think, might enable you to
decide: It is this, “by their fruits you shall
know them.” Let the two men preach;
and the best sermon take the purse; or laying
aside the figure, let him that expounds
the scripture best, be adjudged the clergyman.

The proposition seemed reasonable, and
was adopted; the competitors being desired
to withdraw a little, and conn over their
notes, that they might be ready to deliver
a discourse respectively.

The Captain observing the countenance
of him in possession of the papers, was sensible,

from his paleness, and dejection of aspect,
that he was the impostor. Going out
therefore shortly after, and falling in with
him, as he walked in a melancholy mood,
at a little distance from the church, said he
to him, I perceive how it is, that the other
is the preacher; nevertheless I would wish
to assist you, and as I have been the means
of bringing you into this predicament, I
should be disposed to bring you out.—Let
me know how the case really stands.

The other candidly acknowledged that
having been a yarn-merchant in Ireland,
his capital had failed, and he had thought
proper to embark for this country; and
coming over with this clergyman, he had
purloined his papers; and would have taken
his coat, had it not been too little for
him; a thing which never struck the ecclesiastical
tribunal. But the matter being
now reduced to an actual experiment of talents,
he was at a loss; for he had never
preached a sermon in his life. It was true,
he had heard sermons and lectures in abundance;
and had he been suffered to go
on and preach at his leisure amongst the
country people first, he might have done
well enough; but to make his first essay
in the presence of a learned body of the

clergy, would hazard a detection; but
now he saw his oversight in not having taken
the notes of the other, at the same
time he took the vouchers of his mission.

The Captain encouraged him, by observing,
that there were few bodies, ecclesiastical
or civil, in which there were more than
one or two men of sense; that the majority
of this consistory, might be as easily
humbugged, as the lay people; that a good
deal would depend on the text that he took;
some were easily preached upon; others
more difficult. An historical passage about
Nimrod, or Nebuchadnezzar, or Sihon,
king of the Amorites, or Og, king of
Bashan; out of Genesis, or Deuteronomy,
or the book of Judges, or Kings, would
do very well; but that he should avoid
carefully the book of Job, and the Psalms
of David, and the Proverbs of Solomon;
these requiring a considerable theological
knowledge; or, at least, moral discussion
and reflection. Keep a good heart, said
he, and attempt the matter. The issue
may be better than you apprehend.

With this, taking him a little further to
the one side, where his horse was tied, he
took out a bottle from his saddle-bags, with
a little whisky in it, which Teague had put

there, and gave him a dram. This had a
good effect, and raised his spirits, and he
seemed now ready to enter the lists with
his antagonist.

The other, in the mean time, had gone
in, and was ready, when called upon, to
hold forth. The man with the papers returning,
with the Captain not far behind,
took his seat. The board signified, that
one or other might ascend the pulpit. The
credential man, wishing to gain time, to
think farther what he was about to say,
but affecting politeness, yielded precedence
to the other, and desired him to
preach first. Accordingly stepping up, he
took his text and began.

3. CHAP. III.
The Sermon.

Prov. viii. 33. Hear instruction and be wise,
and refuse it not.

INSISTING on these words, I shall
enquire, 1. Whence it is that men are
averse to instruction. 2. The misfortune
of this disposition. Lastly, Conclude
with inferences from the subject.

1. Whence it is that men are adverse to
instruction. The first principle is indolence.
The mind loves ease, and does not wish to
be at the trouble of thinking. It is hard
to collect ideas, and still harder to compose
them; it is like rowing a boat: whereas,
acting without thought, is like sailing before
the wind, and the tide in our favour.

The second principle is pride. It wounds
the self love of men, to suppose that they
need instruction. We resent more the
being called fools than knaves. No man

will own himself weak and uninformed.
In fact, he has not humility to think he
is: or, if he should be conscious of a want
of knowledge, he is unwilling that others
should have the same opinion: and he will
not submit to be instructed, as that would
imply that he is not already so.

The third principle is passion. When
we are disposed to satisfy the desires of
the constitution, or the affections of the
mind, which are unlawful, we do not wish
to hear dissuasion from the indulgence.
The lecture comes to torment before the
time, when the consequence must afflict.

Under the second head, we shall shew
the misfortune of this disposition. It is what,
in early life, begins to fix the difference of
persons. The hearer of instruction, even
with more moderate parts, becomes the
more sensible boy. The hearer of instruction
has a better chance for life and mature
years. Into how many dangers do
young persons run; leaping, climbing,
running, playing truant, and neglecting
books? Into what affrays too will passions
prompt them, when they begin to feel the
sinew strong, and the manly nerve braced?
They value corporeal strength, which they

have in common with the horse, or the ox,
and neglect the cultivation of the mind,
which is the glory of our nature. What
is a man without information? In form
only above a beast. What is a man, negligent
of moral duty? Worse than a
beast; because, he is destitute of that by
which he might be governed, and of which
his nature is capable; and without which,
he is more dangerous, in proportion as he
is more ingenious.

I shall conclude with inferences from the
subject.

It may be seen hence, with what attention
we ought to hear, and with what observation,
see. The five senses are the avenues
of knowledge; but the reflection of
the mind on ideas presented, is the source
of wisdom. Understanding is better than
riches; for understanding leads to compotcency,
and to know how to use it. Laying
aside, therefore, all indolence, pride,
and passion, let us hear instruction, and
be wise, and refuse it not.

This, reverend brethren, is a short sermon.
It is one in miniature; like the model
of a mechanical invention, which is
complete in its parts, and from whence

may be seen the powers of the inventor.
I did not intend to take up your time with
a long discourse; because, ex pede Herculem;
you may know what I can do by
this essay.

The fact is, I am regularly bred, and
licensed; but this my competitor, is no
more than a yarn merchant; who, failing
in his trade, has adventured to this country:
And coming over in the vessel with
me, took the opportunity one night, when
I was asleep, and picked my fob of these
papers, which he now shews.

Thus having spoke, he descended.

The other, in the mean time, had been
at his wits end what to do. The technical
difficulty of taking a text, and dividing
it under several heads, and splitting
each head into branches, and pursuing
each with such strickness, that the thoughts
should be ranged under each which belonged
to it, as exactly as you would
the coarser yarn with the coarser, and
the finer with the finer; or put balls with
balls, and hanks with hanks. At last he
had determined to take no text at all; as
it was much better to take none, than to
take one and not stick to it. Accordingly,

he resolved to preach up and down
the scripture, wherever he could get a
word of seasonable doctrine. Mounting the
pulpit, therefore, he began as follows:

The first man that we read of was Adam,
and first woman Eve: she was tempted
by the serpent, and eat the forbidden
fruit. After this she conceived and bare
a son, and called his name Cain; and
Cain was a tiller of the ground, and Abel
a keeper of sheep; for she conceived and
bare a second son, and called his name
Abel. And Cain slew Abel. There were
several generations unto the flood, when
Noah built an ark, and saved himself and
his family. After the flood, Abraham begat
Isaac, and Isaac begat Jacob, and Jacob
begat Joseph and his brethren. Potiphar's
wife, in Egypt, took a fancy for
Joseph, and cast him in ward; and Potiphar
was a captain of Pharaoh's guards;
and Joseph interpreted Pharaoh's dream
of the lean cattle; and there were twelve
years famine in the land; and Moses passed
for the son of Pharaoh's daughter,
and married Jethro's daughter, in the land
of Midian, and brought the Israelites out
of the land of Egypt; and Joshua the son

of Nun, and Caleb the son Jephunneh;
and the walls of Jericho fell down at the
sound of ram's horns; and Sampson slew
a thousand with the jaw-bone of an ass;
and Delilah the harlot; and Gideon, and
Barak, and Jephthah, and Abinoam the
Giliaditish; and Samuel, and Saul, and
the prophets; and Jonathan, and David;
and Solomon built him an house; and silver
was plenty as the street stones in Jerusalem;
Rehoboam, and Jehosophat, and
the kings of Israel and Juda; Daniel was
cast into the lions' den; and Shadrach,
Meshach, and Abed-nego; and Isaiah and
Jeremiah; and Zachariah, and Zerobabel;
Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, and the
apostles; Mary Magdalene, out of whom
were cast seven devils; and the father of
Zebedee's children; and Pontius Pilate,
and the high priest, and Ananias and Sapphira,
and the seven trumpets, in the Revelations,
and the dragon, and the woman.
Amen. I add no more.

The lay people present were most pleased
with the last discourse; and some of the
younger of the clergy: But the more aged,
gave the preference to the first. Thus it
seemed difficult to decide.

The Captain rising up, spoke: Gentlemen,
said he, the men seem both to have
considerable gifts, and I see no harm in
letting them both preach. There is work
enough for them in this new country; the
first appears to me, to be more qualified
for the city, as a very methodical preacher;
but the last is the most practical; and
each may answer a valuable purpose in
their proper place.

The decision seemed judicious, and it
was agreed that they should both preach.
The man who had been the yarn merchant,
thanked their reverences, and gave out
that he would preach there that day week,
God willing.

The clergy were so pleased with the Captain,
that they gave him an invitation to
go home with them to an elder's house,
just by; but recollecting the trouble he
had with Teague on another occasion, and
the danger of being drawn into a like predicament,
should he fall into conversation
with the clergymen, and take it into his
head to preach, he declined the invitation,
and hastened to get his horse, and having
Teague along side, proceeded on his journey.