University of Virginia Library

1. CHAP. I.

JOHN FARRAGO, was a man of about
fifty-three years of age, of good natural
sense, and considerable reading; but in
some things whimsical, owing perhaps to
his greater knowledge of books than of the
world; but, in some degree, also, to his
having never married, being what they call
an old batchelor, a characteristic of which
is, usually, singularity and whim. He had
the advantage of having had in early life,
an academic education; but having never
applied himself to any of the learned professions,
he had lived the greater part of his
life on a small farm, which he cultivated
with servants or hired hands, as he could
conveniently supply himself with either.
The servant that he had at this time, was
an Irishman, whose name was Teague
Oregan. I shall say nothing of the character
of this man, because the very name imports
what he was.

A strange idea came into the head of
Captain Farrago about this time; for, by

the bye, I had forgot to mention that having
being chosen captain of a company of
militia in the neighbourhood, he had gone
by the name of Captain ever since; for the
rule is, once a captain, and always a captain;
but, as I was observing, the idea
had come into his head, to saddle an old
horse that he had, and ride about the world
a little, with his man Teague at his heels,
to see how things were going on here and
there, and to observe human nature. For
it is a mistake to suppose, that a man cannot
learn man by reading him in a corner,
as well as on the widest space of transaction.
At any rate, it may yield amusement.

It was about a score of miles from his
own house, that he fell in with what we call
Races. The jockeys seeing him advance,
with Teague by his side, whom they took
for his groom, conceived him to be some
person who had brought his horse to enter
for the purse. Coming up and accosting
him, said they, You seem to be for the
races, Sir; and have a horse to enter. Not
at all, said the captain; this is but a common
palfrey, and by no means remarkable
for speed or bottom; he is a common
plough horse which I have used on my farm

for several years, and can scarce go beyond
a trot; much less match himself with your
blooded horses that are going to take the
field on this occasion.

The jockeys were of opinion, from the
speech, that the horse was what they call a
bite, and that under the appearance of leanness
and stiffness, there was concealed
some hidden quality of swiftness uncommon.
For they had heard of instances,
where the most knowing had been taken
in by mean looking horses; so that having
laid two, or more, to one, they were nevertheless
bit by the bet; and the mean
looking nags, proved to be horses of a more
than common speed and bottom. So that
there is no trusting appearances. Such
was the reasoning of the jockeys. For they
could have no idea, that a man could come
there in so singular a manner, with a
groom at his foot, unless he had some
great object of making money by the adventure.
Under this idea, they began to
interrogate him with respect to the blood
and pedigree of his horse: whether he
was of the dove, or the bay mare that
took the purse; and was imported by
such a one at such a time? whether his
sire was Tamerlane or Bajazet?

The Captain was irritated at the questions,
and could not avoid answering.—
Gentlemen, said he, it is a strange thing
that you should suppose that it is of any
consequence what may be the pedigree of a
horse. For even in men it is of no avail.
Do we not find that sages have had blockheads
for their sons; and that blockheads
have had sages? It is remarkable, that as
estates have seldom lasted three generations,
so understanding and ability have
seldom been transmitted to the second.
There never was a greater man, take him
as an orator and philosopher, than Cicero:
and never was there a person who had
greater opportunities than his son Marcus;
and yet he proved of no account or reputation.
This is an old instance, but
there are a thousand others. Chesterfield
and his son are mentioned. It is true,
Philip and Alexander may be said to be
exceptions: Philip of the strongest possible
mind; capable of almost every thing
we can conceive; the deepest policy and
the most determined valour; his son Alexander
not deficient in the first, and before
him in the last; if it is possible to be before
a man than whom you can suppose
nothing greater. It is possible, in modern

times, that Tippo Saib may be equal to
his father Hyder Ali. Some talk of the
two Pitts. I have no idea that the son is, in
any respect, equal to old Sir William. The
one is a laboured artificial minister: the
other spoke with the thunder, and acted
with the lightning of the gods. I will
venture to say, that when the present John
Adamses, and Lees, and Jeffersons, and Jays,
and Henrys, and other great men, who figure
upon the stage at this time, have gone
to sleep with their fathers, it is an hundred
to one if there is any of their descendents
who can fill their places. Was I to lay a bet
for a great man, I would sooner pick up
the brat of a tinker, than go into the great
houses to chuse a piece of stuff for a man
of genius. Even with respect to personal
appearance, which is more in the power
of natural production, we do not see that
beauty always produces beauty; but on
the contrary, the homliest persons have
oftentimes the best favoured offspring; so
that there is no rule or reason in these
things. With respect to this horse, therefore,
it can be of no moment whether he is
blooded or studed, or what he is. He is a
good old horse, used to the plough, and carries
my weight very well; and I have never
yet made enquiry with respect to his ancestors,
or affronted him so much as to
cast up to him the defect of parentage.
I bought him some years ago from Niel
Thomas, who had him from a colt. As
far as I can understand, he was of a brown
mare that John M`Neis had; but of what
horse I know no more than the horse himself.
His gaits are good enough, as to
riding a short journey of seven or eight
miles, or the like; but he is rather a pacer
than a troter; and though his bottom may
be good enough in carrying a bag to the
mill, or going in the plough, or the sled,
or the harrow, &c. yet his wind is not so
good, nor his speed, as to be fit for the
heats.

The jockeys thought the man a fool, and
gave themselves no more trouble about
him.

The horses were now entered, and about
to start for the purse. There was Black
and all Black, and Snip, John Duncan's
Barbary Slim, and several others. The
riders had been weighed, and when mounted,
the word was given. It is needless to
describe a race; every body knows the
circumstances of it. It is sufficient to say,
that from the bets that were laid, there
was much anxiety, and some passion in

the minds of those concerned: So, that as
two of the horses, Black and all Black,
and Slim, came out near together; there
was dispute and confusion. It came to
kicking and cuffing in some places. The
Captain was a good deal hurt with such indecency
amongst gentlemen, and advancing,
addressed them in the following manner:
Gentleman, this is an unequal and
unfair proceeding. It is unbecoming modern
manners, or even the ancient. For at
the Olympic games of Greece, where were
celebrated horse and chariot races, there
was no such hurry scurry as this; and in
times of chivalry itself, where men ate,
drank, and slept on horse-back, though
there was a great deal of pell-meling, yet no
such disorderly work as this. If men had
a difference, they couched their lances,
and ran full tilt at one another; but no
such indecent expressions, as villain, scoundrel,
liar, ever came out of their mouths.
There was the most perfect courtesy in
those days of heroism and honour; and
this your horse-racing, which is a germ of
the amusement of those times, ought to be
conducted on the same principles of decorum,
and good breeding.

As he was speaking, he was jostled by

some one in the croud, and thrown from
his horse; and had it not been for Teague,
who was at hand, and helped him on again,
he would have suffered damage. As
it was, he received a contusion in his head,
of which he complained much; and having
left the race-ground, and coming to a
small cottage, he stopped a little, to alight
and dress the wound. An old woman who
was there, thought they ought to take a little
of his water, and see how it was with
him; but the Captain having no faith in
telling disorders by the urine, thought
proper to send for a surgeon who was hard
by, to examine the bruise, and apply bandages.
The surgeon attended, and examining
the part, pronounced it a contusion
of the cerebrum. But as there appeared
but little laceration, and no fracture, simple
or compound, the pia mater could not
be injured; nor even could there be more
than a slight impression on the dura mater.
So that trepaning did not at all appear necessary.
A most fortunate circumstance;
for a wound in the head, is of all places
the most dangerous; because there can be
no amputation to save life. There being but
one head to a man, and that being the residence
of the five senses, it is impossible
to live without it. Nevertheless, as the
present case was highly dangerous, as it
might lead to a subsultus tendinum, or
lock-jaw, it was necessary to apply cataplasms,
in order to reduce inflammation,
and bring about a sanative disposition of
the parts. Perhaps it might not be amiss,
to take an anodyne as a refrigerant. Many
patients had been lost by the ignorance
of empirics prescribing bracers; whereas,
in the first stage of a contusion, relaxing
and antifebrile medicines are proper. A
little phlebotomy was no doubt necessary,
to prevent the bursting of the blood vessels.

The Captain hearing so many hard
words, and bad accounts of this case, was
much alarmed. Nevertheless he did not
think it could be absolutely so dangerous.
For it seemed to him that he was not sick
at heart, or under any mortal pain. The
surgeon observed, that in this case he could
not himself be a judge. For the very part
was affected by which he was to judge, viz.
the head; that it was no uncommon thing
for men in the extremest cases to imagine
themselves out of danger; whereas in reality,
they were in the greatest possible:
that notwithstanding the symptoms were
mild, yet from the contusion, a mortification

might ensue. Hypocrates, who might
be stiled an elementary physician, and has
a treatise on this very subject, is of opinion,
that the most dangerous symptom,
is a topical insensibility; but among the
moderns, Sydenham considers it in another
point of view, and thinks that where
there is no pain, there is as great reason
to suppose that there is no hurt, as that
there is a mortal one. Be this as it may,
antiseptic medicines might be very proper.

The Captain hearing so much jargon,
and conscious to himself that he was by
no means in so bad a state as this son of
Escalapius would represent, broke out into
some passion. It is, said he, the craft of
your profession to make the case worse than
it is, in order to increase the perquisites.
But if there is any faith in you, make the
same demand, and let me know your real
judgment. The surgeon was irritated with
his distrust, and took it into his head to
fix some apprehension in the mind of his
patient, if possible, that his case was not
without danger. Looking stedfastly at
him for some time, and feeling his pulse,
there is, said he, an evident delirium approaching.
This argues an affection of
the brain, but it will be necessary, after

some soporiferous draughts, to put the
patient to sleep. Said the Captain, If you
will give me about a pint of whiskey and
water, I will try to go to sleep myself. Adeleterious
mixture, in this case, said the
surgeon, cannot be proper; especially a
distillation of that quality. The Captain
would hear no more; but requesting the
man of the cabin, to let him have the
spirits proposed, drank a pint or two of
grog, and having bound up his head with
a handkerchief, went to bed.