University of Virginia Library

3. CHAP. III.

THE Captain rising early next morning,
and setting out on his way, had
now arrived at a place where a number of
people were convened, for the purpose of
electing persons to represent them in the
legislature of the state. There was a weaver
who was a candidate for this appointment,
and seemed to have a good deal of
interest among the people. But another,
who was a man of education, was his competitor.
Relying on some talent of speaking
which he thought he possessed, he addressed
the multitude.

Said he, Fellow citizens, I pretend not
to any great abilities; but am conscious
to myself that I have the best good will to
serve you. But it is very astonishing to
me, that this weaver should conceive himself
qualified for the trust. For though my
acquirements are not great, yet his are still
less. The mechanical business which he
pursues, must necessarily take up so much
of his time, that he cannot apply himself

to political studies. I should therefore
think it would be more answerable to your
dignity, and conducive to your interest,
to be represented by a man at least of
some letters, than by an illiterate handicraftsman
like this. It will be more honourable
for himself, to remain at his
loom and knot threads, than to come forward
in a legislative capacity: because, in
the one case, he is in the sphere where
God and nature has placed him; in the
other, he is like a fish out of water, and
must struggle for breath in a new element.

Is it possible he can understand the affairs
of government, whose mind has been
concentered to the small object of weaving
webs; to the price by the yard, the grist
of the thread, and such like matters as
concern a manufacturer of cloths? The
feet of him who weaves, are more occupied
than the head, or at least as much;
and therefore the whole man must be, at
least, but in half accustomed to exercise
his mental powers. For these reasons, all
other things set aside, the chance is in my
favour, with respect to information. However,
you will decide, and give your suffrages
to him or to me, as you shall judge
expedient.

The Captain hearing these observations,
and looking at the weaver, could not help
advancing, and undertaking to subjoin
something in support of what had been just
said. Said he, I have no prejudice against
a weaver more than another man. Nor do
I know any harm in the trade; save that
from the sedentary life in a damp place,
there is usually a paleness of the countenance:
but this is a physical, not a moral
evil. Such usually occupy subterranean
apartments; not for the purpose, like
Demosthenes, of shaving their heads, and
writing over eight times the history of
Thucydides, and perfecting a stile of oratory;
but rather to keep the thread moist;
or because this is considered but as an inglorious
sort of trade, and is frequently
thrust away into cellars, and damp outhouses,
which are not occupied for a better
use.

But to rise from the cellar to the senate
house, would be an unnatural hoist. To
come from counting threads, and adjusting
them to the splits of a reed, to regulate
the finances of a government, would
be preposterous; there being no congruity
in the case. There is no analogy between
knotting threads and framing laws.

It would be a reversion of the order of
things. Not that a manufacturer of linen
or woolen, or other stuff, is an inferior
character, but a different one, from that
which ought to be employed in affairs of
state. It is unnecessary to enlarge on this
subject; for you must all be convinced of
the truth and propriety of what I say. But
if you will give me leave to take the manufacturer
aside a little, I think I can explain
to him my ideas on the subject; and
very probably prevail with him to withdraw
his pretensions. The people seeming
to acquiesce, and beckoning to the weaver,
they drew aside, and the Captain addressed
him in the following words:

Mr. Traddle, said he, for that was the
name of the manufacturer, I have not the
smallest idea of wounding your sensibility;
but it would seem to me, it would be more
your interest to pursue your occupation,
than to launch out into that of which you
have no knowledge. When you go to
the senate house, the application to you
will not be to warp a web; but to make
laws for the commonwealth. Now, suppose
that the making these laws, requires
a knowledge of commerce, or of the interests
of agriculture, or those principles upon

which the different manufactures depend,
what service could you render. It
is possible you might think justly enough;
but could you speak? You are not in the
habit of public speaking. You are not
furnished with those common place ideas,
with which even very ignorant men can
pass for knowing something. There is
nothing makes a man so ridiculous as to
attempt what is above his sphere. You
are no tumbler for instance; yet should
you give out that you could vault upon a
man's back; or turn head over heels, like
the wheel of a cart; the stiffness of your
joints would encumber you; and you
would fall upon your backside to the
ground. Such a squash as that would do
you damage. The getting up to ride on
the state is an unsafe thing to those who
are not accustomed to such horsemanship.
It is a disagreeable thing for a man to be
laughed at, and there is no way of keeping
ones self from it but by avoiding all affectation.

While they were thus discoursing, a
bustle had taken place among the croud.
Teague hearing so much about elections,
and serving the government, took it into
his head, that he could be a legislator himself.

The thing was not displeasing to the
people, who seemed to favour his pretensions;
owing, in some degree, to there
being several of his countrymen among
the croud; but more especially to the fluctuation
of the popular mind, and a disposition
to what is new and ignoble. For
though the weaver was not the most elevated
object of choice, yet he was still preferable
to this tatter-demalion, who was but
a menial servant, and had so much of what
is called the brogue on his tongue, as to
fall far short of an elegant speaker.

The Captain coming up, and finding
what was on the carpet, was greatly chagrined
at not having been able to give the
multitude a better idea of the importance
of a legislative trust; alarmed also, from
an apprehension of the loss of his servant.
Under these impressions he resumed his
address to the multitude. Said he, This is
making the matter still worse, gentlemen:
this servant of mine is but a bog-trotter;
who can scarcely speak the dialect in which
your laws ought to be written; but certainly
has never read a single treatise on
any political subject; for the truth is, he
cannot read at all. The young people of
the lower class, in Ireland, have seldom

the advantage of a good education; especially
the descendants of the ancient Irish,
who have most of them a great assurance
of countenance, but little information, or
literature. This young man, whose family
name is Oregan, has been my servant
for several years. And, except a
too great fondness for women, which now
and then brings him into scrapes, he has
demeaned himself in a manner tolerable
enough. But he is totally ignorant of the
great principles of legislation; and more
especially, the particular interests of the
government. A free government is a noble
possession to a people: and this freedom
consists in an equal right to make
laws, and to have the benefit of the laws
when made. Though doubtless, in such
a government, the lowest citizen may become
chief magistrate; yet it is sufficient
to possess the right; not absolutely necessary
to exercise it. Or even if you should
think proper, now and then, to shew your
privilege, and exert, in a signal manner,
the democratic prerogative, yet is it not
descending too low to filch away from me
a hireling, which I cannot well spare, to
serve your purposes? You are surely carrying
the matter too far, in thinking to
make a senator of this hostler; to take him
away from an employment to which he
has been bred, and put him to another, to
which he has served no apprenticeship: to
set those hands which have been lately
employed in currying my horse, to the
draughting-bills, and preparing business
for the house.

The people were tenacious of their
choice, and insisted on giving Teague
their suffrages; and by the frown upon
their brows, seemed to indicate resentment
at what had been said; as indirectly charging
them with want of judgment; or calling
in question their privilege to do what
they thought proper. It is a very strange
thing, said one of them, who was a speaker
for the rest, that after having conquered
Burgoyne and Cornwallis, and got a
government of our own, we cannot put
in it whom we please. This young man
may be your servant, or another man's
servant; but if we chuse to make him a
delegate, what is that to you. He may
not be yet skilled in the matter, but there
is a good day a-coming. We will impower
him; and it is better to trust a
plain man like him, than one of your

high flyers, that will make laws to suit
their own purposes.

Said the Captain, I had much rather you
would send the weaver, though I thought
that improper, than to invade my household,
and thus detract from me the very person
that I have about me to brush my boots,
and clean my spurs. The prolocutor of
the people gave him to understand that
his surmises were useless, for the people
had determined on the choice, and Teague
they would have for a representative.

Finding it answered no end to expostulate
with the multitude, he requested to
speak a word with Teague by himself.
Stepping aside, he said to him, composing
his voice, and addressing him in a soft manner;
Teague, you are quite wrong in this
matter they have put into your head. Do
you know what it is to be a member of a
deliberative body? What qualifications are
necessary? Do you understand any thing
of geography? If a question should be, to
make a law to dig a canal in some part of
the state, can you describe the bearing of
the mountains, and the course of the rivers?
Or if commerce is to be pushed to some new
quarter, by the force of regulations, are you
competent to decide in such a case? There

will be questions of law, and astronomy
on the carpet. How you must gape and
stare like a fool, when you come to be
asked your opinion on these subjects? Are
you acquainted with the abstract principles
of finance; with the funding public securities;
the ways and means of raising the
revenue; providing for the discharge of
the public debts, and all other things
which respect the economy of the government?
Even if you had knowledge, have
you a facility of speaking. I would suppose
you would have too much pride to go to
the house just to say, Ay, or No. This is
not the fault of your nature, but of your
education; having been accustomed to dig
turf in your early years, rather than instructing
yourself in the classics, or common
school books.

When a man becomes a member of a public
body, he is like a racoon, or other beast
that climbs up the fork of a tree; the boys
pushing at him with pitch-forks, or throwing
stones, or shooting at him with an arrow,
the dogs barking in the mean time.
One will find fault with your not speaking;
another with your speaking, if you speak
at all. They will have you in the news papers,
and ridicule you as a perfect beast.

There is what they call the caricatura;
that is, representing you with a dog's head,
or a cat's claw. As you have a red head,
they will very probably make a fox of you,
or a sorrel horse, or a brindled cow, or
the like. It is the devil in hell to be exposed
to the squibs and crackers of the gazette
wits and publications. You know
no more about these matters than a goose;
and yet you would undertake rashly, without
advice, to enter on the office; nay,
contrary to advice. For I would not for
a thousand guineas, though I have not the
half of it to spare, that the breed of the
Oregans should come to this; bringing on
them a worse stain than stealing sheep; to
which they are addicted. You have nothing
but your character, Teague, in a
new country to depend upon. Let it never
be said, that you quitted an honest livelihood,
the taking care of my horse, to follow
the new fangled whims of the times,
and to be a statesman.

Teague was moved chiefly with the last
part of the address, and consented to give
up the object.

The Captain, glad of this, took him
back to the people, and announced his

disposition to decline the honour which
they had intended him.

Teague acknowledged that he had changed
his mind, and was willing to remain
in a private station.

The people did not seem well pleased
with the Captain; but as nothing more
could be said about the matter, they turned
their attention to the weaver, and gave
him their suffrages.