 | XXXII. Ekkoes from Kentucky |  |
32. XXXII.
Mr. Nasby details his Adventures in a strong
Democratic County in Southern Ohio. — The
Suffrage Question in that Part of the Democratic
Heritage.
(Wich is in the Stait uv Kentucky),
September 20, 1867.
LAST week I wuz invited to go into Ohio to assist
my brethren uv that State. The Massedonian
cry reached me, “Come and help us!” and ez the
cry wuz coupled with the asshoorance that I shood
be pervided for, I heeded it. Couple Massedonian
cries with whiskey, and I can't resist em. I never
try. I knowd there wuzn't much difference atween
the Dimocrisy uv Ohio and Kentucky, but I wuz
onprepared for the strikin resemblance I found.
Twins is not more similar. My 1st appintment
wuz in a purely Dimekratic County. It wuz a
settlement after my own heart, and the minit my
It wuz a town wich hed bin some day the seat uv
bizniss, but a ralerode runnin some nine miles to
one side uv it hed cut off its trade, and the inhabitants
hevin nothin to do, the better part uv em went
with the trade. Nacher abhors a vacuum, and there
rushed in sich as found it diffikult to live elsewhere.
The whole population, hevin much leisure, fell to
pitchin coppers, wich, to make the game excitin,
they pitched for drinks. Pitchin for drinks soon
rendered em incapable uv more violent exercise;
and in a year from the time the trade left em, it
wus the strongest and most intense Democratic town
in the State. Ez they must eat suthin, and ez the
groseries coodent run perpetooally without money,
they hed occasional spasms uv labor. Then wood
their feelins be lasseratid. Then wood they look
over to the Kentucky shore, and see thousands uv
jest sich men ez theirselves a spendin their lives in
one unendin round uv copper-pitchin, hoss-racin,
and poker-playin, the nigger meanwhile a sweatin
to furnish the means, and they wood break out into
murmurin at the crooel fate wich cast their lot
where every man wuz forst to sweat for hisself,
and the cuss of labor coodent be filled by proxy.
wood hev all gone there cood they hev raised enuff
to buy a nigger apeece, but they coodent. There
wuz a most deliteful look uv serene repose about
the place wich charmed me. Nothin stood uprite.
The sign-post uv the tavern hed bin leaned agin so
much that it hed contracted the same habit; the
hosses, from a too rigid economy in the matter uv
oats, wuz leanin agin the side uv the barns; the
shutters on the groseries hung cornerin across the
winders, in consekence uv the lower hinges bein
broke; the clapboards on the houses all hangin by
a single nail at one end, presented any but a reglar
appearance; and the men were all either sittin on
store boxes, or leanin agin watever possessed suffishent
strength to keep em up.
I wuz enthoosiastically reseeved. The town wuz
excited on two questions. 1. Taxation. 2. Nigger
Equality. The Cheerman uv the deputashun wuz
the most cheerin style uv Demokrat I hed seen for
years. His independent hair hed pushed its way
thro the top uv his hat and bristled in all directions,
biddin defiance to the world; his toes protroodin
from his shoes, and his trowsers hangin lop-sided
by one suspender, indicated a sovereign contempt
for appearances. He begged me, with tears streemin
wich threatem em. “Think,” sed he, “uv the
hundreds uv thousands uv millions, wich we, the
people, are forced to pay in taxes to the General
Government, and rouse em to the necessity uv
ackshen!”
“I will,” sed I, “I will. State to me the amount
uv taxes paid the tyranikle government in this
Arcajen spot, that I may hev the data from wich
to speek.”
“Taxes!” returned this patriot, with an amazed
look onto his countenance, “taxes! We don't pay
any taxes here. The Assessor came here two years
ago, and findin nothin to assess, hezn't considered it
worth while to come since. But, good Lord, our
hearts bleeds for these unfortinit victims uv Ablishn
policy wich hev suthin, and is forced to pay onto it!
The people is bein ground into dust by taxashen.”
And the old man wept bitter tears at the miseries
uv the sitooashen uv the people. What techin benevolence!
On the question uv nigger ekality, I found em at
a most deliteful heat. They hed seen the terrors
uv it, and know'd whereof they spoke. Niggers
hed come from Kentucky across the river to em, and
instid uv acceptin their normal speer, and yieldin
made em the inferiors uv the white, they hed, the
moment they accumulatid suthin to live on, assoomed
the airs uv ekality. They refoosed to keep
their places. The Cheerman remarkt, ez showin
the stubborn cussedness uv the race, that one uv em
lived some months next to him. He (the Cheerman)
borrored pork on sevral occashens uv him,
twict a bakin uv flour, and, on one occashen, nine
dollars uv the misrable rags wich we are forst, by a
tyranikle Government, to accept ez money. That
nigger hed the soopreme impudence to insist on bein
pade! and even talked uv sooin for it. But, on consultin
a lawyer, he didn't, owin to the oncertainty
ez to who wood hev to pay the costs. Another instance.
“A nigger, wich wuz neerly white, settled
in the visinity. He hed not only a daughter, but a
farm. My son sores. Labor he despises, as a occupashen
only fit for serfs. He proposed to woo this
nigger's daughter. It wuz a struggle with me.
My son marryin a female wich hed the accursed
blood uv Ham in her vanes! But Jimuel, my son,
sir, threw dirt in my eyes. About sixty akers uv
dirt. I thot uv the pleasant time I cood hev a livin
on that farm — uv the days devoid uv labor, and the
evenins filled with ease, and after a severe ethnologikle
wantid to take keer uv that nigger. Pityin him ez
an inferior bein, loaded, in his abnormal condishen,
with responsibilities wich he cood not be expected
to discharge, I would hev taken charge uv his affares.
I wood — my son Jimuel and I — hev managed
his farm, and his stock, and sich. Alas! Jimuel
menshuned the matter to the Ethiopian, sir, and with
wat result? He was ignominiously kickt out uv the
house, sir. He wuz d—d, sir, for a drunken broot,
by a nigger, wich threatened, if he ever showed his
pimpled — pimpled wuz the word — face about there
agin, he'd break every bone in his body. Sir, this
is becomin unsupportable. They must be dragged
down to our level. My proud Caucashen blood revolts.
There must be a inferior race, and it's us or
the nigger. The Injen is out uv the question, ez
there ain't any of them here to be inferior. I
wouldn't mind the Injen, but there ain't none. It's
the nigger or nothin. Give him the ballot, sir, and
what'll distinguish us? Speek with a angel's tongue
onto this theme, I beg.”
The meetin wuz a glorious one, and my speech
one uv my most movin efforts. My perorashen
moved me to tears. It wuz on nigger suffrage.
Depictin its untold horrors, I begged em to organize
“There is,” sed I, “seven thousand nigger males in
the State uv Ohio. Shel we peril the liberties uv
the State by permittin them to approach the ark uv
our safety — the ballot-box? Shel we raise em to
the pint uv bein our ekals? Shel we marry em and
give em in marriage? Shel we contaminate the
pure streem uv Anglo-Saxon blood by muddlin it
with the turbid streem uv —”
At that pint I stopt. My eyeballs wuz seared.
Joe Bigler, wich I sposed wuz a hundred miles
away in Kentucky, wuz up in the aujence.
“Agreein,” sed he, “with wat the speeker is
sayin, I beg to ask a question for enlitenment. I
am a Kentuckian.”
“Ror for Kentucky!”
Bowin, Bigler perceeded. There wuz a lurkin
devil in his eye wich afflicted me.
“Ef I understand the speeker, he holds that the
nigger, ef permitted to vote, becomes so much our
soshel ekal that we must take him to our buzzums
— that we must marry the females, and our gushen
daughters forthwith tie themselves to the males uv
that accussid race. Is it so?”
“It is!” retorted I.
“My blood biles when I think uv it. Ef I recollect
vote who are only half black. Ez there are a good
many mulattos in this region, the produx uv the
loose ekality uv the races over the river, there must
have bin, ever sence that law passed, much uv that
kind uv marryin here. May I be permitted to ask
this oppressed people, who hev suffered so from this
unnatural state of affairs, how they like it? Is yoor
wife a nigger, sir?” sed he, addressin the Sekretary,
“and ef so, don't yoo feel the humiliatin posishen
yoor in, compelled, ez you wuz, by the force uv
Dimokratic circumstances, to marry her, to take her
to yoor buzzum, the minit her father got a vote?
It's enuff to drive a man into Ablishnism to escape
it. My brethren,” sed this Bigler, “I'd advise
yoo all to abjoor Dimocrisy. Up North, the minit
the nigger gits a vote, yoo are forced to legal missegenashun;
down South, the affinity Dimocrisy
hez for niggers hez bleached out the race to the
color uv molasses. There's no hope for yoo, save
in Ablishnism, wich hez the happy fakulty uv doin
justis to em without marryin em!” And he stalkt
out.
It didn't make no difference. They didn't know
what he wuz talkin about. The word “missegenashen”
struck em with amazement, from wich they
men must be keerful uv the words they
yoose.
I finisht my speech. The meetin then resolved
they wuz better than niggers; that they never wood
consent to be taxed for the benefit uv purse-proud
aristocrats; that the bonds shood be taken up with
greenbax; that there shood be a return to specie
payment to-wunst; and that they were willin to
give millions, ef need be, to resist usurpashen,
but not one cent in taxes in a unconstitooshnel
manner.
This resolooshn wuz passed, when a colleckshn
wuz taken up to pay for the candles. But, alas!
There wuzn't nary a cent in the house, and I hed
to pay for em myself. Another little insident didn't
please me. The State Central Committee hed furnisht
me, ez it does all its speakers, with a twenty
dollar gold piece and a fifty dollar bond, wich I
wuz to exhibit, to show the difference atween Ablishn
and Democratic money. I shoved em at the
people, and it excited em to madnis. I laid em on
the table afore me. When the meetin wuz adjourned
they wuz gone! Who took em? I know
not, but this I do know, that the Cheerman uv the
meetin hed, next mornin, a new pare of shoes and
uv taxin bonds. I go from here to Pennsylvania, to
fill some appintments in that State.
(Wich is Postmaster).
| XXXII. Ekkoes from Kentucky | |