University of Virginia Library

20. XX.

THE undersined, yoor ardent admirers, who
follerd willinly yoor lead in the late tour the
South took for addishnel rites, wich unfortnitely resultid
in the loss uv sich uv em ez we had, beg leave
to tender yoo, ez a testimony uv their esteem, the
Presidency uv the Ham and Japheth Academy for
the Development uv the Intellek uv all Races, “irrespective
uv race or color,” uv wich I hev the
honor to be one uv the Fakulty.

We worshipt yoo, before your untimely capcher
in female apparel, for the dignity with which you

bore yourself doorin your prosperous days, your
manliness doorin yoor long and unconstitooshnel incarcerashen
in a Fedral bastile, and your hawty
though silent assershen uv the natral sooperiority
of the Southern man doorin the annoyin perceedings
wich endid in yoor triumfant release from
yoor abasht persecooters, and we feel confident that
in yoor hands the interests uv the Institoot will be
entirely safe.

Many reasons impel us to this course.

First. We assoom that yoo are poor in this
world's goods. Troo, yoo hed oceans uv money
passin thro the Treasury doorin the fratrisidle struggle
forced onto us by the North; but wat chance
hed yoo for steelin, with Benjamin and Mallory,
and them fellows with yoo, who hed the benefit uv
practice doorin Pierce and Bookannon's administrations?
A man coodent make day's wages peculatin
in a Treasury wich them men hed gone
through.

Second. Yoo wood be uv benefit to us. With
yoor name at the head uv our Faculty, the Northern
Democracy would shell out their stamps with a libralty
never before witnest, and the Institoot wood be
endowed heftier than any similar institooshen in
the country. The King's name is a tower uv

strength. Remember that the Democrisy uv the
North giv the exil Vallandigum $30,000 in ten
cent contribooshens. Ef they'd do that for him,
and sich, wat woodent they doo for yoo? The
greater swallers up the less. There never will be
sich a favorable opportunity for yoo to become a
ten center, wich is trooly equivalent to bein a hed
center.

Ez a matter uv coorse yoo will hev objeckshuns.
Knowin wat they will be, we anser em in advance.

1. The incomplete state uv the Institoot. We
acknowledge that it isn't in sich a state uv completidnis
as we cood desire. Not to put too fine a
pint onto it, it ain't built at all. But the corner-stun
is laid. There's a good deal in that. A corner-stun
is a good thing. The corner-stun uv the
Institoot is laid. From the laying of corner-stuns
great results follow. President Johnson laid a corner-stun
at Chicago, and your release followed. He
didn't get very far into the affeckshuns uv the people
North, but he got yoo out uv Fortress Monroe.
Jist let us fling our banner to the breeze with the
name of “J. Davis” onto it, and how quickly wood
the means to finish the Institoot be forthcomin!
Ah, indeed! Ther wood be tournaments held all
over the South in its behalf. The Knite uv the

Sore Eyes would tilt agin the Knite of the Cropped
Ears; the Knite uv the Bandy Legs would run a
course and be glorified agin the Knite uv the Released
Cheef, for its benefit, and the Queens uv
Love and Beauty wood bid em, more fervently than
ever before, to lay their fish-poles in rest and run
their course at the Injy Rubber Teething Rings, and
do their devours manfully, in sich a cause. Ther
wood be fairs held in Noo York for this fund, and
C. Chancey Burr and Henry Clay Dean wood deliver
lekters all over the North in its behalf, workin
a double benefit, viz., affordin us a little money,
Burr, clean paper-collars, and Dean, clean socks.
In fact, the coz uv the ill success the Institoot hez
met with thus far, may be found in the fact that ther
hain't bin nobody connected with it but me. The
Southern Democrisy don't take to me kindly coz
they see me every day; the Northern Democrisy
hev no confidence in me becoz they know I wuz
originelly one uv em.

2. Its name, indicatin ez it does, that the institooshen
admits the ijee of Nigger Ekality. This
objeckshen kin be easily ansered. The name wuz,
originelly, the “Southern Military and Classikle
Institoot,” and the title expressed fairly its objects.
That's it yet, and nothin shorter. The change of

title was strategy. That change wuz Pickwickian,
in the most comprehensive meanin of the word.
It wuz done for effeck upon the Ethiopian. They
hev votes in the States which supported yoo in your
effort to perpetuate em reliably in their normal
condition, and it wuz deemed necessary to conciliate
em. I need not say wat a trial it wuz for our
people to forego the ecstatic delite uv wallopin uv
em, and wat agony it wuz to be forced, by circumstances
over wich we hed litrally no controle, to
recognize em, even in fun, ez ekals, but we hed to
do it. After they hev voted wunst, and boostid us
into Congress, it is eggstremely probable that a
change will come over the sperit uv their dreems.
After that happy day — Well, State Legislachers
hev yit powers, and States hev yit rites. In breef,
this nigger biznis is an effort to flank John Brown's
sole, which hez bin marchin on for several years.
You hev witnist, no doubt, in your gayer moments,
the sole-inspirin and elevatin performances of
nigger minstrels. Certainly. On the stage they
resembled niggers; after the play wuz over, the
curtain dropped, they washed off the cork, and
went and took their well-earned nips ez white men.
Precisely so. When this little play is over, probably
we may wash off the cork, and ez Caucashens
assert our rite to be, as uv old, the governin
class.

3. Pay. On this hed nothin definit kin be statid.
Yoo must doo ez I hev done — hev faith, and take
wat comes. I hev hed contribooshens ez low ez
ten cents, and that even in counterfeit postal currency,
wich wuz no objeckshen to it down here,
ez among our people it passes just ez well ez any.
I hev lived on it for some time; the Institoot hez
eked out the livin afforded me by the offis I hold
from the Guvernment. Ef contribooshens should
be insufficient for yoor support, after my livin is
taken out, wat uv it? Is Johnson dead, and does
Wade reign in his stead? Do yoo hev any idee
that he wood let yoo suffer? Is ther not a sinecoor
for yoo ez well ez for me? Is ther a Confedrit
officer, who wood accept it, who is not pervided
with a posishen uv some kind? Hevin pervided
generously for every one uv the principal sufferers
in the late fratrisidal struggle on the Confedrit side,
is it probable that he wood make yoo an excepshen?

I hev ansered all the objections to the place wich
yoo kin urge, and I beg leave to state some uv the
reasons why you shood accept.

A full year intervenes before the meetin uv the

Democratic Nashnel Convenshen, and two before
you kin be finally inoggerated. Pendin that event
yoo must go into dignified retirement. It's the regler
thing. Forrest did it, and he succeeded so well in
masterin his nateral proclivities that, ef I remember
ritely, he hez killed but two niggers sence he reverently
folded up the stars and bars. Longstreet
hez did it, Price hez did it, and so hez all uv em.
Lee hez done it better than any uv em. There's
suthin pecoolyerly fittin in the cheeftain uv an
unsuccessful “rebellion,” ez the Northerners call
our struggle for our rites, takin the Presidency uv
a college, in seekin shelter in academic groves, in
trainin the noble young men uv his seckshen, and
instillin into em a more perfeck knowledge uv the
doctrin uv State rites and a higher revrens for Virginny,
a deeper hatrid of ablishnism (wich is all
that a Southern yooth hez a call to know), and a
gittin rifled cannon from a tyranikle government to
teech em artillery practis. That's the dodge for
yoo. We hain't got the academic grove for yoo to
walk pensively in at the twilite hour, a musin
onto the eventful past, but we kin easily move that
corner-stun into one. That corner-stun is ez easily
shifted ez Democracy.

There's another reason why yoo shood do it.

The edjucashnel interests uv the South shood be
entrusted to them ez knows how to manage em,
and who to edjucate. We don't want it too common.
It's too much power. I know the power
ther is in it. I'm about the only one here who kin
rite — were ther more, it wood hurt my standin.

Look at wat miscellaneous education hez done
for the North! Noo England is a cloud bustin with
educashen. That black cloud hez swept over the
North, and all over that country its drops hev fell
in the shape uv schools, academies, and colleges,
and sich. Consekently, there's no Democracy ther;
and the heavier the shower a locality received the
less Democracy there is. In yoor hands it wood be
safe. Niggers woodent git it, nor poor whites; but
the sons uv the chivalry, uv the dominant race, they
alone wood tread the flowery path with yoo.

We heven't the society at the Cross Roads in
wich yoo hev bin accustomed to move, but wat uv
that? Let it be known what yoo are, and the Democrisy
uv the North will make this a place uv
summer resort, and of winter recreashen. This will
be their Mecca — yours will be the shrine at which
they will come and worship.

Then come. To yoo the Cross Roads opens her
arms, and offers her bosom for yoo to repose onto.

Come! Erect here yoor alters and yoor fires, ontil
an ashamed nashen bids yoo take the highest place
in its gifts, in reparashen uv the wrong they did to
you two yeers ago.

On behalf uv the Trustees,