University of Virginia Library

3. III.

I HEERD, nearly two months ago, that my old
friend, John Guttle, uv Mobeel, hed departed
this life and gone to that other and better world
where the wicked cease from troublin and the weery
are at rest, and wuz profoundly shocked. John
Guttle wuz my friend, and I much feer his like I
ne'er shall look upon agin. He wuz a Democrat uv
the old skool, one uv the few links wich remaned
to connect the present generation with the past.
Well do I remember the gellorious old man! How
often hev I set in the square room in his country
residence, and drunk wiskey and water with him
till we neither on us could see a hole thro a forty-foot
ladder; how many times hez he flogged niggers

for my amoozment, to show me the proper way uv
managin uv em; and how many times hez he lent
me small sums uv money, varyin from five to thirty-one
dollars, akkordin to the state uv mellernis he
wuz in when I approached him on the delikit subjik!
Alas! poor John Guttle. Let not the skoffer
say that I regret his death becoz his sons will be apt
to try and collect the notes the old man departed
holds uv mine! No, no! they know me too well
to waste any time on that. I mourn becoz I loved
him, and becoz uv the misfortunes which druv him
to a prematoor grave. A. Linkin is responsible for
this dark shadder onto my pathway. John Guttle
hed three hundred niggers on his plantashens and in
his house in town — these wuz wrencht from him
by the Proclamashen, and turned out from his paternal
care to starve, which the most uv em are industrously
doin at about $3 per day. He hed em uv
all hues — there wuz the full-blooded Black, the
disgustin Mulatter, the pleasant Quadroon, the beautiful
Octoroon, and them which hed so nearly lost
the cuss of Ham ez to be hardly distinguishable
from the pure Caucashun; and it wuz noticeable
that the nearly white niggers on the Guttleses plantatin
wuz all beautiful. The Guttleses theirselves
wuz perfeck specimens uv manly beauty, and it
probably hed its effeck upon the blacks. The nigger
is a imitative animal.

It wuz this robbin uv him uv his property — this
overturnin uv the normal condishn uv things —
which killed John Guttle. He never held up his
head after the Proclamashen, but faded away like
a frostid flower!

I wus in Mobeel last week on biznis connected
with our college (it wuz solisitin funds to endow
my Professorship), and I felt that I cood not leave
the sity without droppin a dozen teers or sich onto
his grave. I felt, ez he hed contribbitted at various
times so much to moisten my clay, that it would be
ungentlemanly not to do suthin toward moistenin
hizzen. And in pursuance uv my resolve, I wended
my way sadly to the cemetry, and, findin the tomb,
struck an attitood uv dispair, and leanin pensively
onto the moniment, strove, to the best uv my ability,
to weep, but it wuz a futile endeavor. My eyes
woodent give down. I strove to recall his virchoos,
but sich is the weaknis uv human nacher that
whenever his form rose in my memory, my mind
involuntarily wandered to his wiskey, and my mouth
would water to sich an extent ez to monopolize all
the moisture in my system. I cood hev spit onto

his grave, but weep I could not. Alas for poor
humanity!

When I wuz a standin there tryin to weep, and
makin a bad fist uv it, I notist three beautiful young
ladies approachin, with baskits ov hot-house flowers
a hangin onto their arms. I recognized em to-wunst.
They wuz John Guttle's daughters, and
they wuz a comin to strew flowers onto the grave
uv their paternal ancestor on their father's side. It
wuz a techin site; and feelin that I wuz a introoder,
not bein a blood relashun, and only connected with
the deceest by notes uv hand, I withdrew a short
distants. Skasely had they got to the tomb, when
from the other side approached three more ravishinly
beautiful young ladies, with baskits uv hot-house
flowers onto their arms. The last ones resembled
in a strikin manner the fust ones, ceptin they wuz a
shade darker, and their hare waved bootiful, whereas
the hare uv the fust wuz perfeckly strate.

The two parties faced each other on opposite
sides uv the toom, and party Number One glared
fiercely at party Number Two.

“Lize! Flora! Jane!” sed the oldest uv party
Number One, “wat are yoo doin here?”

“Sisters,” sed the eldest uv party Number Two,
“we're here dischargin a fillyel dooty. Beneeth

these sod lies the remains uv our father, and we are
goin to strew these flowers onto his toom. Jine us
in the strew.”

“Father?” shreeked the three uv party Number
One. “Yoor all niggers and wuz servants unto —”

“Our half-sisters,” sed the spokesman uv party
Number Two; “but Linkin removed the cuss uv
Ham, and we're now free, and hev ez much rite to
strew the grave uv our common parient, which wuz
John Guttle, ez yoo. O! our sisters, our father
wuz a good man — let us bedew his grave with our
teers and —”

“Wat impudence!” shreeked party Number One,
all in korious.

“Impudence yoorself!” retorted party Number
Two, getting red in the face. “We are John Guttleses
daughters percisely ez much ez yoo, and the
only advantage yoo hev over us is in the article of
mothers. Yoo three hev wun, which wuz John
Guttleses wife, while we three hev three — one
apiece eggsackly — which wuz John Guttleses servants;
but we can't, nevertheless, stifle our emoshuns.
I shel command myself, and thus perceed
to perform a act uv fillyel dooty.”

And she histed out the flowers and commenced
to strew.

The tother wuns wuz a gettin hot. The oldest
wun cood stand this impudence no longer, and droppin
her basket, went for her, follered by her sisters.
It wuz a sperited conflict, and lasted perhaps four
minits, or until I parted em, when they gathered
themselves together, and departed — one party went
one way, and tother, tother.

Fillyel love hed done more in the strewin biznis
than it sot out to do. The six lovin daughters uv
the deceest John hed not only strewed flowers onto
his grave, but hair, and collars, and buzzum pins,
and shreds uv silk, and water-falls, and cotton, and
false teeth, and pieces uv almost everything which
goes to make up the sum total uv female attire.

Ez I gazed at the wreck and saw their tattered
forms vanish in the dim distance, I cood not help
admittin that when it come to strewin the graves uv
deceest ancestors, there wuz sum disadvantages attendin
the patriarkle system.