University of Virginia Library

UP TO SNUFF.

Colonel Alexander, the venerable President of the
Equitable Insurance Company, while in Saratoga always
keeps his pockets full of silver pieces. He keeps a
pocketful of dimes and quarters for the waiters. He
has found that the darky boys are ten times as delighted
at the sight of a silver quarter as they are at a
piece of soiled fractional currency, and that they will
run just ten times as far for it, and bring just ten times
as good a dinner. As the Colonel hands the pieces
out, he always whispers slyly:

“There, that is for `snuff,' my boy;” and all the
boys have had Colonel Alexander's “snuff” said to
them so many times that they are all ready to grin and
drop the quarter in their pockets as the silver piece
falls and “snuff” is uttered.

Well, last night, the Colonel rang his bell about
twelve o'clock for some ice-water. In a moment, the
darky was on hand with a pitcher. As he set it down,
the Colonel tipped forward very ominously in his robe
de nuit, and handed the boy a couple of bright silver
quarters.

“There, my boy, that's for snuff, you know,” said
he, as he dropped the shiny pieces into the somber
palm. Then the door closed, and Colonel A. went to
sleep.

About one o'clock he was awakened by a loud knock
at his door, and then another.

Rat! tat! tat!

“Who's there?” shouted the Colonel from his bed.

It was the waiter, who, not understanding Col. Alexander's
snuff dodge, was pounding at the door with a
bladder of maccaboy in his hand.

“Good gracious!” said the Colonel, as he rubbed
his eyes and opened the door. “What in thunder do
you want?”

“It's me, sah,” said the faithful darky.

“And what do you want, 'round knocking at doors
two o'clock in the morning? What in goodness'
name—?”

“But, sah, I is come wid de snuff!”

“The what, man?” asked the astonished Colonel.

“De snuff, sah; and dis is de best I could do, foh
de peoples is all done gone to bed, and de 'backer
shop is all done shut up. Sarten, sah, dis is all de
snuff to be had, fer I'se perpendickler to inquiah evy
wha, sah.”

“O dear, this is the worst!” sighed the Colonel, and
then the ladies, who were listening to the dialogue over
the transept, say they heard the disconsolate man drop
heavily on his pillow and sigh as if his great, good old
heart were broken.