 | Eli Perkins (at large) |  |
MINNIE IN SARATOGA.
Minnie is a type of the watering
place belle. She is as beautiful
as her picture, and so fascinating!
Below is Minnie's diary for one
week, just as she wrote it at Saratoga.
MINNIE'S DIARY.
Monday.—Horribly cold. Arrived
from Lake George to-day.
Looked like a fright—know I did,
when I got out of the omnibus.
Wonder if the Vaughans are here. Phew! had to walk
through fifty men smoking on the balcony. Eight
dresses—eight days. Know Virginia is dying to see
them; such lace! Saw Bob Munson. Had same club-house
smell as Fred. Walking wine-cellar. She kissed
me in the hall twice. Pumped her about Dick. Didn't
show in the parlor to-night. Will make a sensation at
breakfast. Who is this Dick? Looks like a poke.
Tuesday.—Bob Munson's card before breakfast—the
bore! Drank four glasses. Spooned with Bob on park
seat; afraid it won't agree with me. I do believe he
loves me. Said so. Squeezed my hand twice. The
idiot! I'm too happy to live. Chops and codfish,
Such a dress—gored and puffed and fluted, and the
dear knows what! Just saw an old flame, Albert, dear
Albert. Bowed gracefully. Mamma frowned. Oh,
dear! Asked him to call. Squeezed my hand a little.
What did he mean? Virginia's mother very sick.
Water was too much for me.
Wednesday.—Such an event has happened.
Dick called. Glad Virginia
left him with me. Such a lovely waltz
with Bob. Why don't he cut his nails?
Horrible! I bite mine. After waltz,
spooned with Dick. Dick says I'm too
sweet to live. Perfectly atrocious.
Dick and I think alike. He likes the moon, and I'm
another. He's spooney and so—well, I make him believe
I am. If that mean, jealous Fanny Mason goes
peering around again when Dick is holding my hand,
I'll scalp her. No, I'm to be her bridesmaid.
Thursday.—Walked to graveyard with Dick. Such
a nice, sensible talk as we had. First, we talked about
the soul—how destiny often binds two souls together
by an invisible chain. Pshaw, what an old Muggins
Bob Munson is! Then we considered the mission of
man and woman upon earth—how they ought to comfort
each other in sickness and in health. If I looked
like that fright who wore the blue dress, I'd wear corsets.
And then Dick quite startled me by asking me
if I ever cared for any one. Wore blue grenadine cut
on the bias to-night. Told him yes, for papa and
mamma. Always did look lovely in grenadine. Dick
The fraud. Cut the Masons flat.
Friday.—O dear! Rode to the lake. Bob said,
“I'm going to have a lemonade; what will you have?”
Just as if I could say champagne after that. Albert,
dear Albert! Wore white muslin. Dick spooned again.
“You look sweet enough to kiss.” Mustache touched
my face. Said he longed for a chance to talk with me
alone. Knew the precious time had come, and Dick
was just a-going to say it, when ma came up, with that
dreadful old widower Thompson. O dear! Water
disagrees with me again. Must stop it.
“Come, Minnie, you go with Mr. Thompson. I
want to introduce your young friend Dick to the
Masons.” I look like a fright. Don't pay to buy six-buttoned
gloves to spoon in.
Dick flirted with Fanny Mason — the scarecrow!
Wore Elizabeth ruffle four inches high. Did it to
spite Fanny Mason. Where is Virginia?
Saturday.—Dick proposed. Swell clothes did the
business. I do love lavender gloves. Virginia is cut
out, sure. Sang “Rock me to Sleep.” Fanny Mason
said I had a cold. The meddling old wudgock! Lavender
is my color. Engaged to Dick. Gracious, I'm
half afraid I love that fellow! He does kiss too sweet
for anything. Must stop drinking the water. Saw the
educated pig. He's a boor. Mother caught Dick kissing
me. Told father. Stormed. Let out that we
were engaged. “Then you'll go home to-morrow.” O,
dear, my fun is all over. Must stop at the Point and
take in the cadets once more. They can't flirt. Such
Ha! Ha!!
P. S.—Wrote a letter to Julia Mason.
MINNIE TO JULIA.
My Darling Julia: First let me tell you all about
myself. I'm just lovely, and having such a time!
Flirting in Saratoga ain't like flirting in New York—
in the horrid box at the opera, or on the atrocious stairs
at a party. We have just the whole back balcony all
to ourselves—and then we walk over to the graveyard,
and pretend to go down to bowl, and stray off into
Congress Spring Park. Then the drives! My lovely
phaeton—and Prancer, she's just too sweet for anything!
Now, the idea of calling a horse sweet!
“How do I look?”
Well, the best way to tell you that is to send you a
sketch which Dick made for me. Now, you don't know
who Dick is, I suppose. Well, Julia—now don't you
mention it—he's—Dick is—well, I'm engaged to him!
Dick is a brunette, you know, and I'm a blonde. He's
poetical and I'm prosy. He's lean and I'm stout. He's
serious and I'm giddy. He's smart and I'm—but you
should just see his eyes once. Such eyes!
And such a divine mustache, Julia!
I know he loves me. He's told me so fifty times;
and when I tell him I love him, he draws a long, sad
sigh, and says:
“I am very happy, darling; I like to be loved.”
That's all he says, but I know he loves me.
I know you want to know how I got Dick “on the
a Miss Virginia Vaughan stopping at
the Clarendon. She's an old thing,
and awfully cross and prudish, as all
those Clarendon girls are.
Ha, ha! You know, Dick, he says
the Clarendon must be an awful
healthy place.
“Why?” I asked.
“Because most all the young ladies live to such nice
old ages there.”
Oh, the wretch!
If it weren't so healthy up there, O dear! a good
many of them would have been dead years ago, wouldn't
they?
Well, this Virginia Vaughan knew Dick. She, the
mean thing, was engaged to him when they came here.
How he could have ever fancied that cross thing, I don't
know. My! wouldn't she eat me up if she could—
wouldn't she!
Mother says Vaughan and my Dick look just alike.
Bah!
Well, to tell you how I first met Dick. Virginia, you
know, was engaged to him. About a week ago she got
a telegraph from the Masons over at Newport, saying
her mother was sick—almost dying. Virginia had to
go, of course. So she came to me and said she loved
Dick, and she hated to leave him—the simpleton—and
that as they were engaged, Dick would be quite lonesome
without her. The little goose! Then she asked
me to sort of entertain Dick till she came back. Sit on
did it: you may be assured I did. I played awful
sweet on poor Richard. (“Poor Richard” is good—
ain't it? I mean for me.) I asked him to promenade
in the park. We sat on that flirting seat. I said I was
lonely. I told him it was not meet for any one to live
all alone. Then I sighed, and let my hand fall gently
on the book. Of course he took it—any fellow will do
that. You know the rest. In three days he proposed
to me—and—I—well, of course I accepted him. Of
course I had to.
But what a fuss we had, though! One day I was
sitting on that seat alone, reading and waiting for Dick.
I knew he was coming—of course I did. Pretty soon
I heard some one stealing up behind me. I was sure
it was Dick, but I pretended not to notice him. Pretty
soon he came close up, and gave me a kiss, smack on
my neck.
“Oh, Dick! how could you, darling?” I cried, when,
looking up—good gracious! what do you think? Why,
it wa'n't Dick at all. It was that mean, old, poky,
cross Virginia Vaughan!
Of course she made a fuss about it, and broke off
the engagement, and all that; but I don't care. Dick
is mine now; and they say the silly thing has actually
put on mourning!
Did you ever?
Well, Vaughan (we girls don't call her Virginia any
more) has got some other beaux now. She's got old
gray-headed Munson, of the Jockey Club.
Old Munson drives a Brewster dog-cart, with a tiger
is a real nice club-house smell about him all the time,
like dried champagne and cigar-smoke. Dick says all
these club men smell like a dried bar.
There, pa is coming.
The dear, good old pa! I'm going right straight to
him and tell him about Dick, get him to say “yes,”
and then tease him out of such a trousseau! Diamonds,
laces, silver, six bridesmaids, honeymoon, and—
goodness!—I wonder if Dick will want to do like those
Union Club fellows—go off and spend the entire
honeymoon with the fellows, and leave me at home!
Such things are dreadful. Oh, dear!
But, darling, I must close. Let's see, what have I
written about? Next time I'll tell you about myself.
By-by! You old darling!
| Eli Perkins (at large) | |