University of Virginia Library

CRUISE OF THE POLLY ANN.

In overhaulin one of my old trunks the tother
day, I found the follerin' jernal of a vyge on the
starnch canawl bote, Polly Ann, which happened to
the subscriber when I was a young man (in the
Brite Lexington of yooth, when thar aint no sich
word as fale) on the Wabash Canawl:

(Monday 2 P. M.) Got under wa. Hosses not
remarkable frisky at fust. Had to bild fires under
'em before they'd start. Started at larst very suddent,
causin the bote for to lurch vilently and
knockin me orf from my pins. (Sailor frase.)
Sevral passenjers on bored. Parst threw deliteful
country. Honist farmers was to work sowin korn,
& other projuce in the fields. Surblime scenery.
Large red-heded gal reclinin on the banks of the
Canawl, bathin her feet.

Turned in at 15 minits parst eleving.

Toosdy—Riz at 5 and went up on the poop deck.
Took a grown person's dose of licker with a member
of the Injianny legislater, which he urbanely insisted
on allowin me to pay for. Bote tearin threu
the briny waters at the rate of 2 Nots a hour, when
the boy on the leadin hoss shoutid,

“Sale hoe!”

“Whar away?” hollered the capting, clearin his
glass (a empty black bottle, with the bottom knockt
out) and bringing it to his Eagle eye.

“Bout four rods to the starbud,” screamed the
boy.

“Jes so,” screeched the capting. “What wessel's
that air?”

“Kickin Warier of Terry Hawt, and be darned
to you!”

“I, I Sir!” hollered our capting. “Reef your
arft hoss, splice your main jib-boom, and hail your
chambermaid! What's up in Terry Hawt?”

“You know Bill Spikes?” sed the capting of the
Warier.

“Wall, I reckin. He kan eat more fride pork

nor any man of his heft on the Wabash. He's a ornament
to his sex!”

“Wall,” continued the capting of the Kickin
Marier. “Wilyim got a little owly the tother day,
and got to prancin around town on that old white
mare of his'n, and bein in a playful mood, he rid up
in front of the Court 'us whar old Judge Perkins
was a holdin Court, and let drive his rifle at him.
The bullet didn't hit the Judge at all; it only jes
whizzed parst his left ear, lodgin in the wall behind
him; but what d'ye spose the old despot did? Why,
he actooally fined Bill ten dollars for contempt of
Court! What do you think of that?” axed the
capting of the Marier, as he parst a long black bottle
over to our capting.

“The country is indeed in danger!” sed our capting,
raisin the bottle to his lips. The wessels parted.
No other incidents that day. Retired to my
chased couch at 5 minits parst 10.

(Wensdy.) Riz arly. Wind blowin N. W. E.
Hevy sea on and ship rollin wildly in consekents of
pepper-corns havin bin fastened to the forrerd hoss's

tale. “Heave two!” roared the capting to the man
at the rudder, as the Polly giv a friteful toss. I
was sick, an sorry I'd cum. “Heave two!” repeated
the capting. I went below. “Heave two!”
I hearn him holler agin, and stickin my hed out of
the cabin winder, I hev.

The hosses became dosile eventually, and I felt
better. The sun bust out in all his splender, disregardless
of expense, and lovely Natur put in her
best licks. We parst the beautiful village of Limy,
which lookt sweet indeed, with its neat white cottages,
Institoots of learnin and other evijences of
civillizashun, incloodin a party of bald heded cullered
men who was playing 3 card monty on the stoop
of the Red Eagle tavern. All, all was food for my
2 poetic sole. I went below to breakfast, but vittles
had lost their charms. “Take sum of this,”
sed the Capting, shovin a bottle tords my plate.
“It's whisky. A few quarts allers sets me right
when my stummick gits out of order. It's a excellent
tonic!” I declined the seductive flooid.

(Thursday.) Didn't rest well last night on account

of a uprore made by the capting, who stopt
the Bote to go ashore and smash in the windows of
a grosery. He was brought back in about a hour,
with his hed dun up in a red hankercher, his eyes
bein swelled up orful, and his nose very much out
of jint. He was bro't aboard on a shutter by his
crue, and deposited on the cabin floor, the passenjers
all risin up in their births, pushin the red curtains
aside & lookin out to see what the matter was.
“Why do you allow your pashuns to run away with
you in this onseemly stile, my misgided frend?”
sed a sollum lookin man in a red flannel nite-cap.
“Why do you sink yourself to the Beasts of the
field?”

“Wall, the fack is,” sed the capting, risin hisself
on the shutter, “I've bin a little prejoodiced agin
that grosery for some time. But I made it lively
for the boys, Deacon! Bet yer life!” He larfed
a short, wild larf, and called for his jug. Sippin a
few pints, he smiled gently upon the passengers, sed
“Bless you! bless you!” and fell into a sweet
sleep.

Eventually we reached our jerny's end. This
was in the days of Old Long Sign, be4 the iron
hoss was foaled. This was be4 steembotes was goin
round bustin their bilers & sendin peple higher nor
a kite. Them was happy days when peple was intelligent
& wax figger's & livin wild beests wasn't
scoffed at.

(Poeckry.)

A. W.