University of Virginia Library

OSSAWATOMIE BROWN.

I don't pertend to be a cricket & consekently the
reader will not regard this 'ere peace as a Cricketcism.
I cimply desine givin the pints & Plot of a
play I saw actid out at the theater t'other nite,
called Ossywattermy Brown or the Hero of Harper's
Ferry. Ossywattermy had varis failins, one of
which was a idee that he cood conker Virginny with
a few duzzen loonatics which he had pickt up sumwhares,
mercy only nose wheu. He didn't cum it,
as the sekel showed. This play was jerkt by a
admirer of Old Ossywattermy.

First akt opens at North Elby, Old Brown's
humsted. Thare's a weddin at the house. Amely,
Old Brown's darter, marrys sumbody, and they all
whirl in the Messy darnce. Then Ossywattermy
and his 3 suns leave fur Kansis. Old Mrs. Ossywattermy

tells 'em thay air goin on a long jurny &
Blesses 'em to slow fiddlin. Thay go to Kansis.
What upon arth thay go to Kansis fur when thay
was so nice & comfortable down there to North
Elby, is more'n I know. The suns air next seen in
Kansis at a tarvern. Mister Blane, a sinister
lookin man with his Belt full of knives & hoss
pistils, axes one of the Browns to take a drink.
Brown refuzis, which is the fust instance on record
whar a Brown deklined sich a invite. Mister Blane,
who is a dark bearded feroshus lookin person, then
axis him whether he's fur or fernenst Slavery. Yung
Brown sez he's agin it, whareupon Mister Blane,
who is the most sinisterest lookin man I ever saw,
sez Har, har, har! (that bein his stile of larfin wildly)
& ups & sticks a knife into yung Brown. Anuther
Brown rushes up & sez, “you has killed me
Ber-ruther!” Moosic by the Band & Seen changes.
The stuck yung Brown enters supported by his two
brothers. Bimeby he falls down, sez he sees his
Mother, & dies. Moosic by the Band. I lookt but
couldn't see any mother. Next Seen reveels Old
Brown's cabin. He's readin a book. He sez freedum
must extend its Area & rubs his hands like he
was pleesed abowt it. His suns come in. One of
'em goes out & cums in ded, havin bin shot while
out by a Border Ruffin. The ded yung Brown sez
he sees his mother and tumbles down. The Border
Ruffins then surround the cabin & set it a fire.
The Browns giv theirselves up for gone coons, when
the hired gal diskivers a trap door to the cabin &
thay go down threw it & cum up threw the bulkhed.
Their merraklis 'scape reminds me of the 'scape of
De Jones the Coarsehair of the Gulf — a tail with
a yaller kiver, that I onct red. For sixteen years
he was confined in a loathsum dunjin, not tastin of
food durin all that time. When a lucky thawt
struck him! He opend the winder and got out.
To resoom — Old Brown rushes down to the footlites,
gits down on his nees & swares he'll hav
revenge. The battle of Ossawattermy takes place.
Old Brown kills Mister Blane, the sinister individcoal
aforesed. Mister Blane makes a able &
elerquent speech, sez he don't see his mother much,
and dies like a son of a gentleman, rapt up in the
Star Spangled Banner. Moosic by the Band.
Four or five other Border ruffins air killed but thay
don't say nothin abowt seein their mothers. From
Kansis to Harper's Ferry. Picter of a Arsenal is
represented. Sojers cum & fire at it. Old Brown
cums out & permits hisself to be shot. He is tride
by two soops in milingtery close, and sentenced to be
hung on the gallus. Tabloo — Old Brown on a
platform, pintin upards, the staige lited up with red
fire. Goddiss of Liberty also on platform, pintin
upards. A dutchman in the orkestry warbles on a
base drum. Curtin falls. Moosic by the Band.