University of Virginia Library

THE SHOW BUSINESS AND POPULAR LECTURES.[1]

I feel that the Show Bizniss, which Ive stroven
to ornyment, is bein usurpt by Poplar Lecturs, as
thay air kalled, tho in my pinion thay air poplar
humbugs. Individoouls, who git hard up, embark
in the lecturin biznis. Thay cram theirselves with
hi soundin frazis, frizzle up their hare, git trustid
for a soot of black close & cum out to lectur at 50
dollers a pop. Thay aint over stockt with branes,
but thay hav brass enuff to make suffishunt kittles
to bile all the sope that will be required by the ensooin
sixteen ginerashuns. Peple flock to heer um
in krowds. The men go becawz its poplar & the
wimin folks go to see what other wimin folks have
on. When its over the lecturer goze & ragales hisself

with oysters and sich, while the peple say
“What a charmin lectur that air was,” etsettery etsettery,
when 9 out of 10 of um don't have no
moore idee of what the lecturer sed than my kangeroo
has of the sevunth speer of hevun. Thare's
moore infurmashun to be gut out of a well conductid
noospaper—price 3 sents—than thare is out of
ten poplar lectures at 25 or 50 dollers a pop, as the
kase may be. These same peple, bare in mind,
stick up their nosis at moral wax figgers & sagashus
beests. Thay say these things is low. Gents, it
greeves my hart in my old age, when I'm in “the
Sheer & yeller leef” (to cote frum my Irish frend
Mister McBeth) to see that the Show biznis is pritty
much plade out, howsomever I shall chance it agane
in the Spring.