University of Virginia Library

THE PRESS.

I want the editers to cum to my Show free as the
flours of May, but I don't want um to ride a free
hoss to deth. Thare is times when Patience seizes
to be virtoous. I hev “in my mind's eye, Hurrashio”
(cotashun from Hamlick) sum editers in a
sertin town which shall be nameless, who air Both
sneakin and ornery. They cum in krowds to my
Show and then axt me ten sents a lines for Puffs.
I objectid to payin, but they sed ef I didn't down
with the dust thay'd wipe my Show from the face of
the earth! They sed the Press was the Arkymedian
Leaver which moved the wurld. I put up to
their extorshuns until thay'd bled me so I was a
meer shadder, and left in disgust.

It was in a surtin town in Virginny, the Muther
of Presidents & things, that I was shaimfully

aboozed by a editor in human form. He set my
Show up steep & kalled me the urbane & gentlemunly
manajer, but when I, fur the purpuss of
showin fair play all around, went to anuther offiss
to git my handbills printed, what duz this pussillanermus
editer do but change his toon & abooze me
like a Injun. He sed my wax wurks was a humbug
& called me a horey-heded itinerent vagabone. I
thort at fust Ide pollish him orf ar-lar the Beneki
Boy, but on reflectin that he cood pollish me much
wuss in his paper, I giv it up. & I wood here take
occashun to advise peple when thay run agin, as thay
sumtimes will, these miserable papers, to not pay no
attenshun to um. Abuv all, don't assault a editer
of this kind. It only gives him a notorosity, which
is jest what he wants, & don't do you no more good
than it wood to jump into enny other mud puddle.
Editers are generally fine men, but there must be
black sheep in every flock.