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The Christian Scholar

By the Author of "The Cathedral" [i.e. Isaac Williams]

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V. TO HIMSELF.
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269

V. TO HIMSELF.

[_]

Car. lxxvi.

“If good deeds past bring to mankind delight,
In pious memories if aught is sweet,
Ne'er to have broken faith, forsworn the right,
Or call'd on God with purpose of deceit—
“Catullus, many joys in life's review
'Neath this ungrateful love are yet in store;
For of things kind that men can say or do,
All have been said and done by thee of yore.
“Though these be lost on an ungracious soul,
Yet why thyself torment, to sorrow given?
Strengthen thy mind, draw thence in self-control;
Cease by thy griefs to struggle thus with Heaven.
“'Tis hard at once to yield love cherish'd long;—
'Tis hard, yet safety lies in this alone;
Thou must, by mastering self, subdue the wrong;
Canst thou, or canst thou not, it must be done.

270

“O Gods, if ye are pitiful, if e'en
On verge of death ye e'er have brought relief,
Look on my woe; if pure my life hath been,
Remove this plague, this pestilential grief;—
“It creeps like poisonous torpor through each vein,
And every sense of joy drives from my breast;
I ask not that her love I may regain,
And with restor'd fidelity be blest.
“It is for mine own health is all my prayer,
For power to cast aside this foul disease.
O Gods, in my life past if pious care
Hath aught of you deserv'd, grant me release.”

ON THE FOREGOING.

'Tis so with every passion of the breast,
Ambition, covetousness, or love of praise;
Though men awhile, by vain success caress'd,
Know not the weight which on the heart it lays.
Yet if the soul thwarted and check'd should turn
Upon itself, it feels the deadly chain,
Nor seeks whereby that flame may stronger burn,
But knows no freedom while it doth remain.

271

The covetous would oft give worlds away,
Could he but 'scape the thirst within his breast;
Love, scared by disappointment, in dismay
Yearns from itself to flee, and so to rest.
Then oh, how vain is every heart's desire,
Enslaved the more the more that it hath won!
It is the kindling of a deathless fire
In souls that find their rest in God alone.