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University of Virginia Library

The Works of Peter Pindar [i.e. John Wolcot]

... With a Copious Index. To which is prefixed Some Account of his Life. In Four Volumes

Pindar, Peter (1738-1819)

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I.

A POETICAL, SUPPLICATING, MODEST, AND AFFECTING EPISTLE TO THOSE LITERARY COLOSSUSES THE REVIEWERS.

['Tis hard, Messieurs Reviewers, 'pon my soul]

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LYRIC ODES TO THE ROYAL ACADEMICIANS, FOR MDCCLXXXII.

I.

II.

III.

IV.

V.

VI.

VII.

VIII.

IX.

X.

XI.

XII.

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XIII.

XIV.

XV.

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MORE LYRIC ODES TO THE ROYAL ACADEMICIANS.

I.

II.

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III.

IV.

V.

VI.

VII.

VIII.

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LYRIC ODES, FOR MDCCLXXXV.

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I.

TO PETER PINDAR, ESQ.

II.

III.

IV.

V.

VI.

VII.

VIII.

IX.

X.

XI.

XII.

XIII.

XIV.

XV.

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XVI.

XVII.

XVIII.

XIX.

XX.

XXI.

XXII.

XXIII.

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FAREWELL ODES, FOR MDCCLXXXVI.

I.

II.

III.

IV.

V.

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VI.

THE PILGRIMS AND THE PEAS.

VII.

VIII.

IX.

X.

XI.

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XII.

XIII.

XIV.

XV.

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I.

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II.

THE PETITION OF THE COOKS.

III.

IV.

V.

A POETICAL AND CONGRATULATORY EPISTLE TO JAMES BOSWELL, ESQ. ON HIS JOURNAL OF A TOUR TO THE HEBRIDES WITH THE CELEBRATED DOCTOR JOHNSON.

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BOZZY AND PIOZZI, OR THE BRITISH BIOGRAPHERS,

II.

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A KING AND A BRICK MAKER .

IN CONTINUATION.

AN APOLOGETIC POSTSCRIPT TO ODE UPON ODE.

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THE APPLE DUMPLINGS AND A KING.

KING CANUTE AND HIS NOBLES.

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INSTRUCTIONS TO A CELEBRATED LAUREAT,

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BROTHER PETER TO BROTHER TOM,

ANOTHER SIMILE.

THE TOPER AND THE FLIES.

THE ROMISH PRIEST.

THE PLYMOUTH CARPENTER AND THE COFFINS.

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PETER's PENSION,

TO AN UNFORTUNATE BEAUTY.

HYMN TO MODESTY.

THE ROYAL SHEEP.

THE KING AND PARSON YOUNG.

A MORAL REFLECTION.

THE PARSON, THE SQUIRE, AND THE SPANIEL.

PETER's PROPHECY,

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SIR JOSEPH BANKS AND THE EMPEROR OF MOROCCO,

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THE VIRTUOSO's PRAYER.

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A POETICAL EPISTLE TO A FALLING MINISTER;

EPISTLE TO A FALLING MINISTER.

IMITATION OF HORACE.

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II.

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SUBJECTS FOR PAINTERS.

SUBJECTS FOR PAINTERS.

THE KING OF SPAIN AND THE HORSE.

LORD B. AND THE EUNUCH.

TO THE ACADEMICIANS.

ODE TO THE DEVIL.

THE TENDER HUSBAND.

THE SOLDIER AND THE VIRGIN MARY.

AN ODE TO EIGHT CATS,

SIR J. BANKS AND THE THIEFTAKERS.

SOLOMON AND THE MOUSETRAP.

PETITION TO TIME IN FAVOUR OF THE DUCHESS OF DEVONSHIRE.

THE JEWESS AND HER SON.

THE EARL OF PETERBOROUGH AND THE MOB.

ODE TO A DISTRESSED BEAUTY.

THE GENTLEMAN AND HIS WIFE.

THE PARSON-DEALER.

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THE PETIT MAITRE, AND THE MAN ON THE WHEEL.

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THE TRIUMPH OF ISIS,

A SERIOUS REFLECTION.

ODE TO PATIENCE.

TO A NEST OF LORDS.

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EXPOSTULATORY ODES TO A GREAT DUKE AND A LITTLE LORD.

I.

II.

III.

IV.

V.

VI.

VII.

VIII.

IX.

X.

XI.

XII.

XIII.

XIV.

XV.

XVI.

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XVII.

THE PIG AND MAGPIE,

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A BENEVOLENT EPISTLE TO SYLVANUS URBAN, ALIAS MASTER JOHN NICHOLS, PRINTER, Common-Councilman of Farringdon Ward, And Censor General of Literature:

BENEVOLENT EPISTLE, &c. &c.

ELEGY TO APOLLO.

SIR J. BANKS AND THE BOILED FLEAS.

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A ROWLAND FOR AN OLIVER, OR A POETICAL ANSWER TO THE BENEVOLENT EPISTLE OF MR. PETER PINDAR.

A POETICAL ANSWER, &c

PETER's APOLOGY.

ODE TO MY BARN.

ODE TO AFFECTATION.

ODE TO MADAM SCHW---G & CO.

A CONSOLATORY STANZA TO LADY MOUNT E---,

TO MR. J. NICHOLS,

TO A FRIEND IN DISGRACE.

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ADVICE TO THE FUTURE LAUREAT,

II.

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COMPLIMENTARY EPISTLE TO JAMES BRUCE, ESQ. The Abyssinian Traveller.

A COMPLIMENTARY EPISTLE.

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ODE TO JAMES BRUCE, ESQ.

ODE TO THE GLOW-WORM.

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THE RIGHTS OF KINGS,

ODE TO THE ACADEMICIANS.

II.

III.

IV.

V.

VI.

ODE VI.

VII.

VIII.

IX.

X.

XI.

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XII.

XIII.

XIV.

XV.

XVI.

XVII.

XVIII.

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ODES TO MR. PAINE, AUTHOR OF ‘RIGHTS OF MAN;’

ODE TO MR. PAINE.

II.

SONG BY MR. PAINE.

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THE REMONSTRANCE; TO WHICH IS ADDED AN ODE TO MY ASS ALSO THE MAGPIE AND ROBIN, A TALE; AN APOLOGY FOR KINGS; AND AN ADDRESS TO MY PAMPHLET.

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ODE TO MY ASS, PETER.

IN CONTINUATION.

AN AFTER-REFLECTION.

PROËMIUM TO THE MAGPIE AND ROBIN RED-BREAST.

THE MAGPIE AND ROBIN RED-BREAST.

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AN APOLOGY FOR KINGS.

STORY THE SECOND.

ADDRESS TO MY BOOK,

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I.

II.

III.

IV.

V.

THE ROYAL BULLOCKS,

A MORAL REFLECTION On the preceding Elegy.

ELEGY ON MY DYING ASS, PETER.

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AN ACADEMIC ODE.

THE TALE OF VAN TRUMP.

THE PROGRESS OF ADMIRATION;

ADDRESS TO THE VIRTUES,

THE PROGRESS OF KNOWLEDGE.

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ODES OF IMPORTANCE, &c.

ODE TO LORD LONSDALE

ODE TO THE ACADEMIC CHAIR,

ODE TO THE KING.

ODE TO A MARGATE HOY.

THE WOLF AND THE LION.

THE WOLVES, THE BEAR, AND OTHER BEASTS.

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THE TEARS OF ST. MARGARET;

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PROLOGUE TO THE ODES;

MARGARET's LAMENTATION.

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ODES OF CONDOLENCE.

I.

ODE TO ST. CECILIA.

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ADDRESS TO AN OWL.

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MRS. ROBINSON's HANDKERCHIEF AND JUDGE BULLER's WIG.

THE CHURCHWARDEN,

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A PAIR OF LYRIC EPISTLES TO LORD MACARTNEY AND HIS SHIP.

A LYRIC EPISTLE TO LORD MACARTNEY,

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ODES TO KIEN LONG, The present Emperor of China;

TO THE EMPEROR OF CHINA.

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ODES TO KIEN LONG.

I.

II.

III.

IV.

V.

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WILLIAM PENN, NATHAN, AND THE BAILIFF; A TALE.

ELEGY TO THE FLEAS OF TENERIFFE.

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ODE TO MESSIEURS TOWNSEND, MACMANUS, AND JEALOUS, The Thief-takers, and Attendants on Majesty.

AN ODE TO A PRETTY MILLINER.

A MORAL AFTER-THOUGHT ON THE ABOVE.

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A LYRIC EPISTLE TO SIR WILLIAM HAMILTON.

POSTSCRIPT (sub rosâ).

ON A NEW-MADE LORD.

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A POETICAL, SERIOUS, AND POSSIBLY IMPERTINENT, EPISTLE TO THE POPE.

PROLOGUE TO THE EPISTLE.

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A SERIOUS, THOUGH POSSIBLY IMPERTINENT, EPISTLE TO THE POPE.

THE WAGGONER AND JUPITER.

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II.

ODE TO INNOCENCE.

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THE DUKE OF RICHMOND's DOG THUNDER,

ODE TO A POOR SOLDIER OF TILBURY FORT.

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ODE TO CERTAIN FOREIGN SOLDIERS, IN CERTAIN PAY.

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ODE TO TYRANTS.

THE FROGS AND JUPITER.

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THE DIAMOND PIN AND THE FARTHING CANDLE; A FABLE.

THE SUN AND THE PEACOCK;

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III.

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THE ROYAL TOUR, AND WEYMOUTH AMUSEMENTS;

TO J. PYE, ESQ.

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THE ROYAL TOUR,

MR. PITT'S FLIGHT TO WIMBLEDON.

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ODE TO THE FRENCH.

CÆSAR AND THE FOG.

ODE TO THE MILL,

A HINT TO A POOR DEMOCRAT.

ODE TO THE ELEPHANT,

THE SORROWS OF SUNDAY:

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THE CONVENTION BILL;

THE CONVENTION BILL; ODE TO MR. PITT.

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ONE THOUSAND SEVEN HUNDRED AND NINETY-SIX;

I.

II.

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LIBERTY'S LAST SQUEAK;

LIBERTY'S LAST SQUEAK;

ODE TO AN INFORMER.

SECOND ODE TO AN INFORMER.

ODE TO JURYMEN.

CRUMBS OF COMFORT FOR THE GRAND INFORMER.

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AN ODE TO THE LIVERY OF LONDON,

I.

II.

AN ODE TO SIR JOSEPH BANKS,

[advertisement]

A JEREMI-AD, ADDRESSED TO GEORGE ROSE, ESQ. OF THE TREASURY.

A COMMISERATING EPISTLE TO JAMES LOWTHER, EARL OF LONSDALE AND LOWTHER, Lord Lieut. and Cust. Rot. of the Counties of Cumberland and Westmorland.

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TO THE CRITICS.

HYMN TO THE GUILLOTINE.

THE PROUD OLD MAID.

EARLY PROPENSITIES.

INVITATION TO CYNTHIA.

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THE OLD SHEPHERD'S DOG.

JENNY'S COMPLAINT.

ODE FOR BOYS AND GIRLS.

THE OWL AND PARROT.

AN ANACREONTIC.

SUSAN AND THE SPIDER.

VERSES TO A WHITE SATIN PETTICOAT,

THE TINKER, AND MILLER'S DAUGHTER.

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THE DRUID HYMN TO THE SUN.

THE BLIND BEGGAR.

ANACREONTIC SONG.

A PASTORAL SONG.

ODE TO A PRETTY BAR-MAID.

ODE TO A HEDGE-SPARROW,

THE CAPTIVE QUEEN.

ODE TO JEALOUSY.

ODE TO THE LADIES OF ENGLAND.

THE LADY'S LAP DOG AND THE COACHMAN.

ODE TO THE POET DELILLE.

TRANSLATION FROM GALLUS.

A SECOND ODE TO THE POET DELILLE.

PHILLIDA'S COMPLAINT.

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A THIRD ODE TO THE POET DELILLE.

THE KNIGHT AND THE RATS.

THE CRUELTY OF ÆNEAS TO QUEEN DIDO.

TO A YOUNG LADY,

TO NANCY OF THE ROSE.

MODES OF COURTSHIP.

DEVONSHIRE-HOB'S LOVE.

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HAWSER TO SUSAN.

ODE TO TWO MICE IN A TRAP.

THE MISER AND THE DERVISE.

ODE TO A COUNTRY HOYDEN.

THE GRAVE OF EURIPIDES.

SONG TO CYNTHIA.

CORIN'S PROFESSION,

ODE TO UGLINESS.

THE TRAVELLER AND JUPITER.

ODE TO MY GOOD FRIEND THE MOST MERCIFUL JUDGE ------.

HYMN TO ADVERSITY.

SONG TO SAPPHO.

INVOCATION TO ST. CECILIA.

ON THE DEATH OF A MUSICAL FRIEND.

APOLLO TO THE ANACREONTIC SOCIETY,

ODE TO A HANDSOME WIDOW.

OSGAR'S PRAYER.

SONG, BY SYLVIA.

ODE TO THE SUN.

THE QUEEN OF FRANCE TO HER CHILDREN,

ODE ON FRENCH TASTE.

TO THE NIGHTINGALE.

THE YOUNG FLY, AND THE OLD SPIDER.

ODE TO A COUNTRY 'SQUIRE,

THE COMPLAINT OF MIRZA,

HAWKING, A BALLAD

A LITTLE SKETCH OF A CERTAIN MOST MERCIFUL AND LITTLE JUDGE.

SIR JOSHUA REYNOLDS.

AN EPITAPH ON A FRIEND.

ODE ON THE CHOLERIC CHARACTER.

TO MISS HARRINGTON.

ANACREON TO HIS LYRE.

THE ADDRESS OF THE FAIRIES TO THE LADIES OF R---, IN CORNWALL:

HYMN TO SILENCE.

AN APOLOGY FOR INCONSTANCY.

ODE TO ADMIRAL HOTHAM.

TO THE BUTTERFLY.

ODE TO THE LION SHIP OF WAR.

ODE TO A BUTTERFLY.

ODE ON MODERATION.

THE SONG OF DISAPPOINTMENT:

THE ROYAL VISIT TO EXETER;

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ODE OF TRIUMPH.

POETA LOQUITUR.

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LORD AUCKLAND'S TRIUMPH;

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I.

A KING OF FRANCE AND THE FAIR LADY.

II.

ADVICE TO YOUNG WOMEN;

ODE ON THE PASSIONS.

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ODE TO THE BLUE STOCKING-CLUB.

ODE TO SOME ROBIN REDBREASTS, IN A COUNTRY CATHEDRAL.

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ODES TO INS AND OUTS.

I.

[Ode I.] PROLOGUE.

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II.

ODE II. TO THE K---.

III.

ODE III. TO LORD H---Y.

IV.

ODE IV. TO THE CHANCELLOR OF THE EXCHEQUER.

V.

ODE V. TO GEORGE ROSE, ESQ.

VI.

VII.

THE HEDGE-HOGS;

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VIII.

ODE VIII. TO PITT.

THE SULTAN AND THE DOG.

IX.

ODE IX. TO PITT AGAIN.

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X.

ODE X. TO HENRY DUNDAS, ESQ.

A MORAL CONCLUSION.

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IV.

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TALES OF THE HOY;

['Twas in that month when Nature drear]

THE PRAISE OF MARGATE.

AN ODE OF CONDOLENCE TO GEORGE ROSE, ESQ.

[Whate'er from dirty Thames to Margate goes]

[Now, as our immortal Milton sublimely would have sung:]

[Or, as the no less immortal author of Hudibras would have quaintly said;]

[Again, as the illustrious Butler would have said, or sung:]

[Thus oft it happens that the sky]

CORINNA'S EPITAPH.

THE WIDOW OF EPHESUS;

THE DRUNKEN FLY.

VERSES ON A FLY

Verses on the Fall of the Statue of Apollo from the Summit of the Organ, on the Head of Shield, as he was playing.

THE SHEPHERD'S PIPE.

[Thus, as the flocks amid the valley feed]

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TEARS AND SMILES;

I.

II.

III.

IV.

V.

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ORSON AND ELLEN;

I.

II.

III.

IV.

V.

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NEW-OLD BALLADS.

[Ah! woe is mee, who sighe forlorne]

A PRAISE OF FAYRE GERALDINE,

BALLADE OF LOVE.

BALLADE OF GRIEF.

THE PETITION OF THE LOVER.

ODE ON AN INCONSTANT.

THE LOVER'S PITYE.

ON THE FAYRE GERALDYNE.

THE BRENNED MOTH, A BALLADE.

WYATT TO BRYAN, FROM HIS PRISON.

WYATT TO POINS, IN PRAISE OF LIBERTY.

A BALLADE OF PRAYER,

THE THREAT OF OBERON THE FAIRY.

A BALLADE OF WYNTER.

TO HER HIGH MAJESTY,

With a Gyfte of a Glow-worm to the fayre Geraldine, in the Country.

BALLADE ON THE VIOLET.

BALLADE TO A FISH OF THE BROOKE.

ANCIENT SIMPLICITY.

THE YOUNG CROWS AND THE YOUNG WRENS.

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TO CYNTHIA IN TOWN.

ODE ON THE ANCIENTS.

ODE TO AN UNFORTUNATE PRINCESS.

ODE TO ST. CECILIA.

PETER'S TRIUMPH.

A POETICAL EPISTLE TO BENJAMIN COUNT RUMFORD, Knight of the White Eagle, &c. &c.

THE ISLAND OF INNOCENCE;

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THE MIDDLESEX ELECTION;

I.

II.

III.

IV.

V.

VI.

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PITT AND HIS STATUE;

After a most pathetic exordium, Madam Penny-Post thus lamenteth

LORD B--- AND HIS MOTIONS.

PROH IMPUDENTIAM! AN ODE.

TEMPORA MUTANTUR.

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GREAT CRY AND LITTLE WOOL;

I.

II.

III.

IV.

VII.

VIII.

IX.

AN INSTRUCTIVE EPISTLE TO JOHN PERRING, ESQ. Lord Mayor of London;

THE HORRORS OF BRIBERY;

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ELEGY TO THE KING.

ELEGY TO THE SAME.

ELEGY TO THE SAME.

ELEGY TO LORD GRENVILLE.

ELEGY TO LORD H. PETTY.

ELEGY TO LORD SIDMOUTH.

ELEGY TO LORD ERSKINE.

ELEGY TO J. DONITHORNE, ESQ.

ELEGY TO MR. FOX.

ELEGY TO MR. SHERIDAN.

ELEGY TO NARCISSA.

ELEGY TO THE BISHOP OF LONDON.

ELEGY TO CYNTHIA.

ELEGY TO THE BEE.

ELEGY TO SCOTLAND.

ELEGY TO MR. ROWLANDSON.

ELEGY TO A FRIEND.

ELEGY TO MR. R. GOUGH.

ELEGY TO A FRIEND.

ELEGY TO THE BAT.

ELEGY. THE SPEECH OF PRUDENCE.

ON THE DEATH OF A CELEBRATED MUSICIAN.

LINES TO LORD NELSON,

TO HELEN IN TOWN.

THE INCONSTANT.

ELEGY ON JESSICA.

A SONG TO A COQUETTE.

LAURA, A PASTORAL SONG.

A LYRIC EPISTLE TO MYSELF.

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ONE MORE PEEP AT THE ROYAL ACADEMY;

[Again th' Academy I greet]

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ODES TO THE HEADS.

The Bard addresseth, in plaintive Ditty, the Heads of the Lord knows who—painted by the Lord knows whom, and executed the Lord knows how.

TO A FEMALE HEAD.

TO A MAN'S HEAD.

TO THE SOMBRE FACE OF PARSON CODMAN.

TO THE PORTRAIT OF HELEN.

TO A MINIATURE PORTRAIT OF A YOUNG LADY, LATELY DECEASED.

TO A FEMALE HEAD.

TO ANOTHER FEMALE HEAD.

ANTICIPATION: OR, THE PRIZE ADDRESS;

A SOLEMN SENTIMENTAL, AND REPROBATING EPISTLE TO MRS. CLARKE.

A SECOND SOLEMN, SENTIMENTAL, AND REPROBATING, EPISTLE TO MRS. CLARKE.

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CARLTON-HOUSE FETE;

I.

II.

III.

IV.

V.

CURIOSITY IN RAGS.

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ODE VI.

The light of Reason is a little ray,
But still it shows us the right way:
Indeed, the gentlewoman makes, no blaze,
No bonfire tempting a fool's eyes to gaze—
A modest dame, remote, and calm, and coy,
And never playeth gambols to destroy.

But Error, what a meretricious jade,
Amidst her trackless wilds immers'd in shade,
To tempt the silly and unwary!
Her meteor, lo! she lights!—here, there,
Up, down, she dances it—now far, now near,
In mad and riotous vagary.

191

On the fools wander, in pursuit so stout,
And love of this same garish light;
All on a sudden goes this meteor out;
And caught, like badgers, in the sack of night,
Blund'ring and trying to get back agen,
They roll about in vain, poor men.

Thus you Academicians all proceed!
You are those badgers, gentlemen, indeed!

There seems an ardent spirit, to my mind,
A revolution spirit, 'mongst mankind:
A spark will now set kingdoms in a blaze,
That would not fire a barn in former days;
So lately turn'd to touchwood is each state—
So whimsical, indeed, the ways of Fate!

Pray, sirs, both old and young, ye bright and muddy,
Did ever you make cuckoldom your study?
P'rhaps not, if rightly I divine—
But, gentlemen, I've made it mine.

This state of man, and let me add obscenity,
Is not a situation of betweenity,
As some word-coiners are dispos'd to call't—
Meaning a mawkish, as-it-were-ish state,
Containing neither love nor hate—
A sort of water-gruel without salt.

Know then, that Cuckoldom's all eye, all ear,
All smell, all taste, and, faith! all feeling—
His senses sharp as those of cats appear,
To right, to left—as quick as soldiers wheeling,
To catch a wife's bad fame, alas! not praise;
Thus setting traps to squeeze his future days;

Watering with one eternal tear the eye,
And making lovely Life one lengthen'd sigh:
A pair of antlers his—he sits on thorns—
He nothing sees but horns, horns, horns!

Nay, to the cuckold in idea, lo,
On either side his head a horn appears

192

Tremendous! but which all his neighbours know
Are only one huge pair of ass's ears.

Then pray dismiss your jealousies and frights;
Our m*****h means not to invade your rights:
It never, never was a royal plan—
‘For Brutus is an honourable man!’
Greater from Chambers should be all your fears,
Whose house is tumbling fast about your ears.