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Church uv St. Vanlandigum, }

Feelin it a sakred dooty I oad the coz uv Dimocrisy and fre speech,
(on awl subgeks not interferin with Dimocrisy ez it hez bin, ez it is,
or ez it may be,) I visyted Camp Dennyson, wich is naimd after a
Abbolishnist, to use my stentorin voyse fer Vanlandigum, among the
payrold prizners. It wuz a bammy mornin in September, wen I
arriv, and procoorin admishen, I set to work to onct. Noticin a cupple
uv duzen uv a playin poker, I cent anty, I jedged by a instink I
hev that ther wuz a gud field fer sowin dimycratik seed. Advansin,
I sed, “My frends!” “Wat,” sed wun uv em, takin advantij uv the
interrupshen to slip a ace er 2 up his koat sleeve.

“My frends,” sed I, “I cum 2 yoo es a possel uv peece, and I umble
advokait uv Dimocrisy, and that persookootid angil, Vanlandigum,—


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“Five aces, Jimuel,” sed the person who fust sed “Wat” to me,
“I take the pile, coz yu no yu cant bete five aces,” and sweepin the
munny, he remarkt 2 me, “now parson wat did yu say?”

“I cum,” sez I, “in behaff uv the outrajd Vanlandigum, who is a
exel far away.”

I found that the sile ov Camp Dennyson wuz altogether 2 stony to
maik preeching for Vanlandigum and fre speche very plesent, fer no
sooner hed the wurds left my lips than a showr uv stuns assaled me,
wun that felt ez tho it wayd a tun prostratid me. A seriz uv outrajis
wuz then perpetrated wich beggers deskripshun. I wuz peltid with
offensive eggs, and rotten cabbig, and decayd pertaters, in fact at wun
time the air wuz so full uveggs, that I might hev thot, hed I bin poetikle,
that the blessid sun wuz a mammuth hen, badly diseazd, and
a layin rotten eggs a milyun a minnit. Finelly, wun uv em sez,
“Boys, we aint the prizners this feller's after. Johnson's Island's
wher he want to go to find his frends.” “Yes,” sed another, “and
to git thair yu go by water,” whereupon thsee frends seezed me and
draggd me thro a hoss troff 15 er a hunderd times. Then they
pourd cole ile over me, and wuz a goin to set afire to dry me, ez they
sed, but I broak and fled, pursood by 1000 uv these infooriatid demuns.
I finelly escaid by passin myself orf ez Horris Greely, onto
a party uv em who stopt me.

I am at present confind to my bed, sustanin myself by takin dosis
uv terbacker joose from J. Davis' spittoon, dilooted with whisky. It
inwiggoraits me.

Petroleum V. Nasby,
Paster uv sed Church, in charge.