Satires and miscellaneous poetry and prose :: :: University of Virginia Library

[Priests]
Are by their Lady votaries, with the Best
Of all their Curiositys, carest,
And when th' are searcht for, meet with no Anoyance
But feeding upon Sweet-meats i' th' Conveyance.

The Images of Saints, like Easops Logs,
Are thrown from Heaven down to Govern Frogs.

The Romish Priests, and Turkish Janizarys
Are both Supply'd with Christian Seminarys;
Who have no Lawfull Issue of their own
T' uphold the Legend, or the Alchoron:
Yet, by the Great Conformity between
The Roman-Clergy, and the Musselmen,
Will not Allow their Churches to Consist
Of Mungrels, gotten by a Turk, or Priest:
For Jesuits and Turks Improve the Breed
Of both their Sects, by changing of the Seed.

The Pope, that Lay's his Title, and Pretence,
T' Infallibility, has the Least of Sense:
Is faine t' avoyd a Street, in Rome, for Dread,
Of being turnd t' a whore, and brought to Bed:
By virtu only, of th' Infallible Chair
To get the Church, upon himself, an Heir.

Who first set Townes on Fire For Heretiques
Till Canon-Law th' Inhabitants convicts.

An old Religion, nothing but a Mode,
Far-fet from Hence, and too Deare bought abroad.
Which would have brought the Interlopers in
Too Rich a trade of Slavery and Sin.
That were Resolv'd to turn the Devils Tenants,
And take to Farme of him, a Sinners Penance.

290

To pay down all their Rents upon, their Skins,
To him, and his Joynt Purchacer of Sins.
According to the Custome of the Manner
Which all his Native vassels hold by Tenure
And first Receivd from the Fanatique Jews
That put the Reformation first in use.
For Popery with us was but in Type,
Before the Greatst Impietys grew Ripe
When in th' excess, and Fulnes of Deboshing,
It was Declar'd and Publish'd for Devotion.
Have Fairs and Mercats, of all Sorts of Tradesmen
Fryres, Hermits, Munks, and Seculars, and Beads-men,
The most Deplorable of all those Dunces
That strove t' Import Religion from beyond Seas.
For Roman Pænitents are wont to play
The Guilt of all their Pænances away;
Where He that looses, freely takes the Sins
Upon his own Accompt, of him, that wins,
And is content to lay the Heavyst Sack
Of others consciences, upon his Back.

The Roman Mufty, with his Triple crowne,
Do's both the Earth, and Hell, and Heaven Owne:
Besides th' Imaginary Territory
He lay's his Title to, In Purgatory;
Declares himselfe, an Absolute Free Prince
In his Dominions, only over Sins.
But as for Heav'n (since it Ly's so far
Above him) is but only Titular.
And, like his Cross-Keiys-Badge upon a Taverne,
Has nothing there, to tempt, command or Govern.
Yet when he come's, to take Accompt, and share
The Profit of his Prostituted ware,
He findes his Gaines Increse, by Sin and women,
Above his Richest Titular Dominion.

A Jubile, is but a Spiritual Fair,
T' expose to Sale, all Sorts of Impious ware;
In which his Holynes buy's nothing in,
To stock his Magazins, but Deadly Sin,

291

And Deale's in extraordinary Crimes
That are not vendible at other times;
For Dealing both for Judas, and th' High Priest,
He makes a Plentifuller Trade of Christ.
Can transubstantiate stamps of Lead or Brass
And into gold turn Paltry Beads of Glass.
For all the Horriblest Impieties
Do never fayl to Flock to Jubilies.

That Spiritual Pattern of the Church, Noahs Arck,
In which the Antient world did once Imbark,
Had nere a Helme in't to direct it's way,
Altho bound through an universal Sea:
When all the Modern Church of Rome's Concern
Is nothing else, but in the Helm, and Sterne.

An Antient French Pope chose himself, his Heir,
And made the Nation Conclave to the Chaire:
When all their Anti-Holynesses strove
To stand for Antichrist, the next Remove.

As He, that with Colonna, cuft a Fray;
Was Routed in the fight, and born away:
And eate his Fingers for th' Affront he had
Receivd in Fight, until he dy'd starck-mad.

[The Pope]
By Chymique Transubstantiation turn's
To Crowns of Gold, one Crown of thorns,
And wear's them ore three words, instead
Of ne're a Place to Rest his Head.

When the Jews had kild the Heir,
Priests took Th' Inheritance to share.

There's no Cheat in al the world nor Trick
But has a Twang, and Smack, o' th' Catholique.

What numerous Ly's and Errors did the Days
Of Popery, among the Rabble Raise!

292

As Friers in their Long Capouches
Store up their Privat Close Deboches
And weare them on their Backs behind
As out of Sight as out of minde.

As in the Church of Rome, to go to shrift
Is but to put a Soul on a New shift.

The Greatest Complements are Found most False
As Cardinals that visit Cardinals
Are stript in Querpo, really to know
If they have Armes under their Robes or no,
And al their Counterfet Civility[s]
Are nothing else but [t'] avoyd Surprize,
But in Pretence, to let them understand
They are at Home, and all things there Command.

A Papist
Is but an Ignorant, Implicit Atheist,
That thinks to be Relig[ious] without Piety,
And Eats, instead of worshiping the Deity,
As Woolsy Puld down many a Monastery
To build a Church to Christ and his own Glory.

Jesuits are taught obedience
Before they'r sufferd to Learn Impudence,
And Counterfet a Sheepish Look before
They come to set for wolvs up, and Devour.

Their Leaving of[f] the Habits of the Brothers
And wearing those they Please, of any others;
Their Living out of Covents, Free and Cleare,
From any thing, that's Rigid, and Severe,
Their Arbitrary Intrest, [and] Dominion
Ore other mens Concernments, and their women,
Makes some in taking Orders, not so Nice,
As Possibly they might have been, otherwise.

Some zealous Men in orders more Confirms
Tho Probably th' had been on other tearms.