University of Virginia Library

For Pædantry is But a Lewd Caprich
Which Pupills Catch of Tutor's like the Itch;
And many nere Recover, till th' are Men,
But still grow worse till th' are twice Boys agen;
That in the world at first was Introducd
As but the Garbe, and meen, that Schollers usd,
But since is so Inlargd it has outgrown
The usefull Part of all that's to be known,
And in its Roome Imported Affectations
Of Obsolete, and Antiquitated Fashions;
From whence the virtuoso-wit of France
Do's not oppose to knowledg, Ignorance
[But] Pædantry, as th' Horribler Defect
And Imperfection of the Intellect.
Besides the Crambe-Surfets of his Parts
Diseasd, and Cropsick, with his Nauseous Arts:
For all a Pædants Skill Ly's in his Tearms
As conjurers and witches in their Charms,
That never Speaks, But Consters, and Imbr[o]thers
The Bumbast-Stuff, with Ends of Antique Authors
More Insignificant, then Osce, and Volsce,
Or Modern Macaronique Linsy-wolse,
The Constant Pedlers Dialect, of Schoolers
Patcht up with Scraps, of Diffrent Stufs, and Cullers,
More Tawdry then a Botchers Chequerd Cushion
He Sings, and stiches with his Legs a Cross-on,
And (like a Fripprer) do's but Turn and Dress
The wrong-side out-wards sevrall Languages
Of which He smatters greater Stores at once
Then th' Antique Hundred voyces could Pronounce.
So He that usd to set the Highest valews
Upon a word, of Meane Condition, Alius,
A Paltry Epithite Prizd it beyond
The Richest Jewells meerly, for the Sound,
And Counted those the Eloquentst Clarks
That Frequentst Introduct it, in their works.

A Tru Pedantique writer in a worke
Wil manage all his matters with a Fork
And not omit the least Puntilio
That might his Breding and Good-manners show.
As Formall as a Ceremonious Author
Quote's the Right worshipful his Elder Brother.

A Pædagogue, that mounted in his Schoole
Is but a Kinde of Master of Misrule,
Is Puft up with his own conceipt, and Swels
With Pride and vanity and Nothing else,
Like Bladders in the Late Pneumatique Engine,
Blown up with nothing but their owne Extension.

And when he speak's in Languages unknown
To those that hardly understand their own,
Talke's to himself, as other madmen use,
And only is Permited to go loose.

For Pædants teach their youth, to Apprehend
And take their Lessons in at the wrong end;
And when they'r sick, have been præscribed by Leaches
For exercise, to Labour at their Breeches.