 | Satires and miscellaneous poetry and prose |  |
176
ABSURDITIES
De Scudery make's Turks at Sea-shipt
Sayl through the Baltique Sea to Ægypt.
Sayl through the Baltique Sea to Ægypt.
Predictions are but like Devises
At Lotterys to draw all Prizes.
At Lotterys to draw all Prizes.
Russian wives believe th' are usd
Unkindely till th' are Drubd and bruisd.
Unkindely till th' are Drubd and bruisd.
An Asse will with his long eares fray
The Flys, that tick[l]e him, away;
But Man delight's to have his eares
Blown Magots in by Flatterers.
The Flys, that tick[l]e him, away;
But Man delight's to have his eares
Blown Magots in by Flatterers.
At Saint Thomas Waterings
Where men a[re] Angled for, with Strings
And many a Tory-Navigator
Choakd like a Fish with Hemp in water.
Where men a[re] Angled for, with Strings
And many a Tory-Navigator
Choakd like a Fish with Hemp in water.
The world has Long Indevord to Reduce
Those things to Practice, that are of no use,
And strive's to Practice things of Speculation
And bring the Practicall to Contemplation.
And by that Error, Renders both in vaine
By forcing Natures Course against the Graine.
What sort of Creature Summum Bonum was,
Philosophers Describe, so like an Ass.
If virtue were an Animall determine
Or vice, but Insects, and Imperfect vermine.
So Church Historians undertake to Tell
Where Th' Hous stands yet, of an old Parable.
And shew the Ruines of the Habitation,
Of th' Antient Morall, and Interpretation:
So most Religious Men have nothing else
In all their Historys, but Miracles;
When No Believer would Indure the Falshood
Of what they write, but only for the Souls good;
And Nature do's far greater Miracles
Then all their Deviations from her else.
Those things to Practice, that are of no use,
And strive's to Practice things of Speculation
And bring the Practicall to Contemplation.
And by that Error, Renders both in vaine
By forcing Natures Course against the Graine.
What sort of Creature Summum Bonum was,
Philosophers Describe, so like an Ass.
If virtue were an Animall determine
Or vice, but Insects, and Imperfect vermine.
So Church Historians undertake to Tell
Where Th' Hous stands yet, of an old Parable.
And shew the Ruines of the Habitation,
Of th' Antient Morall, and Interpretation:
So most Religious Men have nothing else
In all their Historys, but Miracles;
When No Believer would Indure the Falshood
Of what they write, but only for the Souls good;
And Nature do's far greater Miracles
Then all their Deviations from her else.
177
A Roman Magistrate was made Supreme,
Only to Knock a Naile into a Beame.
Only to Knock a Naile into a Beame.
So that wise virtuoso Sydrophel,
Who in a Publique Tax is sayd t' appeale,
And show how much he had bee[n] over-reckond
To pay a Tenth for but a third, or second.
Who in a Publique Tax is sayd t' appeale,
And show how much he had bee[n] over-reckond
To pay a Tenth for but a third, or second.
The Germans when a Boy do's grow
Fit for the wars: wil not allow
His manhood, til he's kickt i' th' Arse
And then he's listed for the wars.
Fit for the wars: wil not allow
His manhood, til he's kickt i' th' Arse
And then he's listed for the wars.
So Russian Lambs (some write) are wont to travel,
Instead of Four-Lege's, only with a Navel:
That Rooted in the Earth, both Feeds, and Grows,
And eates the Grass on both sides as He goes.
Instead of Four-Lege's, only with a Navel:
That Rooted in the Earth, both Feeds, and Grows,
And eates the Grass on both sides as He goes.
Some Deaf men (they say) see words
If those that speake 'em have no beards;
Others can heare a violin
Holding between [their] teeth a Pin.
Like him that drew th' Invisible Mountain
Which all Philosophy do's Containe,
Or like the Painter that designd
A Noyse, or he that drew the winde.
If those that speake 'em have no beards;
Others can heare a violin
Holding between [their] teeth a Pin.
Like him that drew th' Invisible Mountain
Which all Philosophy do's Containe,
Or like the Painter that designd
A Noyse, or he that drew the winde.
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