Satires and miscellaneous poetry and prose :: :: University of Virginia Library

If I could hope you would not tell agen,
Fayr Ladys and most worthy Gentlemen,
I've something to say t' yee; but am afeard
I should, by some within, be overheard:
In brief 'tis only this, wee have within
Two Poets such as yet were never seen:

437

One is a writer, and of great Renown,
But by an envious Faction now kept down,
And yet in this new Play he has thought [fit]
To entertaine a Partner of his wit,
One that did never write, yet understands
How to put of[f] what Ly's on th' others hands,
And now th' are setting up with a Joynt ------
To deal for what you at the Dores have payd,
Like Indian Merchants, that, for Beads and Trinkets,
Make rich Returnes of Orient Pearls and Ingots.
I wish they may do so; but how so ere
We are securd, and run no hazzard here:
They have insur'd us against al mishap,
You shalbe pleasd, and cry it up, and clap.
W' have let 'em but our house, the Cloaths, and paines,
And have no venture in their loss, or gaines.
Then, whether you do Cry it up, or down,
The gaine or loss is sure to be their own.

A man may be a Poet that nere writ,
As some that cannot read set up for wit;
Critiques no doubt, that might impartial seeme,
If good and bad were but alike to them.
But they, out of a Bravery of minde,
Are always to the weaker side inclin'd,
As Courts of Justice use: else right and wrong
Would not be able to hold out so long.
And such a Court are some of you that sit
By your half-Crown-Commissions in the Pit.
To Judg, according as your Talents are,
Between the King and Prisner at the Barre.
But, as some Judges, whether wrong or right,
Are found, in hanging men, to take Delight,
A Poets ruine gives you more content
Then Fals of Great men in the Government,
Though you gaine nothing by 't: For seldome comes
A Better (say's the Proverb) in their Roomes.
For Poetry, like other Heresies,
By being persecuted multiply's,
And, the more wickedly some authors write,
Others to write worse are encouragd by't.
Thus, whether you do cry Plays up or downe,
The Thing is found in th' end to be al one,
And the best way is to let both alone;
For, should they leave the Trade, they would get more
Then ere they did by dealing in't before:
For some are made by being crackd, as wel
As Birds are hatchd by breaking of the Shel.

438

He has observd there's but one certaine way
To please you al, in writing of a Play,
And that's by Scribling such a Paultry one
Of Purpose as you'r surest to cry down:
For then you have your wishes to the height
And al you're wont to hope from those that write;
Which is uncharitable and severe
To those that have so hard a Province here.
For what in England can a Poet hope,
Though one of late beyond Sea is turnd Pope,
In spight of Robert Wisdom, and some feare
The rest o' th' Tribe wil fare the worst for 't here.

As Birds and Beast[s] of Rapine heretofore
Had their Heads payd for at the Churches Dore,
So Poets have at ours: and if you were
As Just in al your other Censures here,
You were brave Judges, for to steal and prey
On Others wits is now to write a Play,
That's like a Cuckolds Child, no man can gather
By any Feature of it who's the father,
But, as in China when a Child is born
The Man lies in for't in the womans turne,
So when a woman do's but write a Play
Some male-wit fathers it and ha's a day:
Hence 'tis that while such Numbers strive to write,
So few among them honestly come by't.
For few bring any thing here of their own,
But, like a Case in Law by Counsel drawn,
Put in, and out, b' advice before it pas,
Til 'tis another thing from what it was,
Or else 'tis stollen out of Pedlers French
That is French wit: while you upon the bench
Allow it and beleive the Author made it,
Because he did not tel you where he had it.
Those rob the State of wit, and have undon yee,
Like those that have to do with publique money,
That, in their bottomless and hel-like purses,
Store up the Peoples money and their Curses.

He do's not write to gaine Applaus or Fame
And therefore that way cannot miss his Ayme.

Has taken of[f] the Quibble and the Rimes
To make it fit the fashion of the Times.

For, as a Durty Pond is aptest
For Launching of an Anabaptist,
So Durty Fopprys are most fit
For those of Durty braines, and wit.

439

For Poets are more rayld at then the Gods
Or Stars by Lovers when they fal at ods.

That swel and looke as Big, as if th' had payd
An Empire for each Comedy they made,
As once a Learned Critique but to own
An old Song, swore he freely would have don.

Plato, thinking to exile
All Poets from his Sancho's Isle,
Unwittingly expeld himself
His own Poetique Commonwelth,
With all his Sect of Followers,
Mere Poets, only bating verse.