LETTER LIII.
In which cousin Ephraim tells the Major how matters get
along at Augusta, and gives a specimen of the value of
political promises.
Augusta, State of Maine, Jan. 30, 1833.
To the Editor of the Portland Courier, that we take up in Downingville:
dear sir, I want you to send this on to cousin Jack to
Washington City, 'cause he told me you would send it and not
charge any postage.
To Major Jack Downing.
Dear cousin Jack, — I got your letter some time ago,
but I had n't time to answer it afore now, because I had
to go back up to Downingville to get another load of
apples. These Legislater folks cronch apples down by
the wholesale between speeches, and sometimes in the
middle of speeches tu. That arternoon that Mr Clark
spoke all day, I guess I sold nigh upon a half a bushel
for cash, and trusted out most three pecks besides. The
folks up to Downingville are all pretty well, only your
poor old mother; she 's got the reumatics pretty bad
this winter. She says she wishes with all her heart
Jack would come home, and not think of going to South
Carolina. Ever since she heard about Ginneral Blair
she cant hardly sleep nights, she 's so afraid you 'll get
shot. I tell her there 's no danger of you as long as you
have President Jackson one side of you and Sargent
Joel 'tother.
The Legislater is jogging along here pretty well; I
guess they 'll get through about the first of March, if
they dont have too many boundary questions come along.
We made some Major Ginnerals here 'tother day, and I
tried to get you elected. Not because I thought you
cared much about the office now, but jest for the honor
of Downingville. I tried most all the members, and
thought to be sure you would come in as slick as greese.
For about forty of 'em told me they thought it belonged
to you. They said it was against their principles to
pledge their votes to any body; but they whispered in
my ear that they would do what they could, and they had
n't scarcely a doubt but what you 'd be elected. Sixty-eight
of 'em told me you was the best man for it, and
would undoubtedly be chosen as a matter of course.
And twenty five of 'em promised me right up and down
by the crook of the elbow, that they would vote for
you.
Well Jack, after all this, you did n't get but two votes.
By that time I begun to think it was n't so strange that
it took you two years hard fishing before you could get
an office.
This is the most democratic Legislater that they have
ever had in this state yet. They are most all real ginuine
democrats, and they have give Mr Holmes and Mr
Sprague a terrible basting for being federalists, and they
have turned Mr Holmes out and put Mr Shepley in.
The Legislater is talking of moving the seat of government
back to Portland again. They say it will be
better all round. They wont have to go so fur through
the snow-drifts to their boarding houses, and wont have
to pay much more than half so much for their board.
And here they have to pay four pence apiece every time
they are shaved; but in Portland they can get shaved
by the half dozen for three cents apiece. I hope they
will go, for I can get more for my apples in Portland
than I can here.
P. S. Bill Johnson was married last week, and he
quarrelled with his wife the very next day. So you see
he is the same old sixpence he used to be. He says he
'll send a petition to the Legislater to be divorced, and
he declares if they don't grant it, he 'll cut the lashings
as he did once on the raft on Sebago Pond, sink or
swim.
N. B. Uncle Joshua wished me to ask you to ask the
President about that post office again, as his commission
has n't come yet.
I remain your loving Cousin,
EPHRAIM DOWNING.
