LETTER XXVIII.
In which Mr Downing tells how the Jacksonites in the Legislature
had a dreadful tussle to pour a “healing act”
down the throats of the Huntonites.
[Note by the Editor. The bitterness of feeling occasioned by the
struggle for the ascendency between the two parties in 1830, still
rankled in the breasts of the members of the Legislature in 1831.
The Huntonites had acquired the ascendency the preceding session,
but now the Jacksonites were in power, and they contended that
the acts of the Huntonites in 1830 were unconstitutional and void.
They therefore set about preparing a “healing act” to declare all
the doings of the preceding Legislature valid in the lump. When
this Bill was brought forward, it produced a storm in the Legislature,
almost unparalleled. The Huntonites considered it altogether
a useless provoking piece of political trickery. They contended
that if the acts of the former Legislature were in fact unconstitutional,
no law passed by this Legislature could make them constitutional;
and considering it a wanton attempt to heap insult and
odium upon them, they fought against it almost while life and breath
remained. A fierce debate on the passage of this Bill was carried
on for several days. But the Jacksonites had the power in their
own hands, and the Bill was finally passed. The scene is somewhat
minutely described in the two following letters.]
Dear Uncle Joshua. — If you got my postcript to
this letter that I sent you yesterday, I spose you wont
sleep nor eat much till you hear something more about
it. So I thought I'd try to send you a little bit of a letter
to-day. O dear, uncle, there 's terrible times here
again, and I'm half afraid it's agoing to be worse than
it was last winter. The Legislater 's been all in the
wind this two or three days, pulling and hauling and
fighting like smoke. The wheels of government are all
stopt; I cant say as they are trigged, as they used to be
last winter, but they are fairly stopped, because nobody
dont pull 'em along; for when the members are all pulling
each other's caps, how can they pull the wheels of
government? They seemed to get along very well ever
since they 've been here till now, and I thought they most
all belonged to them are two clever parties that tried so
hard to save the State last winter; I mean the democratic
republicans and the national republicans. But
some how or other this week a quarrelsome gang of
Jacksonites and Huntonites has got into the Legislater
and kicked up such a bobbery, it seems as though they 'd
tare the State all to pieces. My heart 's been up in my
mouth a dozen times for fear the State would go to ruin
before I could get out of it; and I 've scratched round
and picked up what few bean-poles and ax-handles I
had left, and got all ready to set sail to Boston, for I'me
determined to be off before the State goes to rack. And
I advise you and all our friends at Downingville to pack
up as soon as you get this letter, and be all ready as
soon as you hear a cracking down this way to fly for
your lives away back into New-Hampshire or Vermont.
The trouble as near as I could understand it begun in
this way. The Jacksonites said the Huntonites worked
so hard last winter in trying to trig the wheels of government,
and tare the constitution to pieces, that they made
themselves all sick, dreadful sick, and had n't got well
yet; and it was time to do something to try to cure 'em;
for their sickness was so catching that all the State
would be taken down with it in a little while, if they want
cured.
But the Huntonites said they want sick a bit; they
never was better in their lives; and moreover, it was
false that they had tried to trig the wheels of government
last winter, or tear a single leaf out of the constitution;
if any thing of that kind was done, they said
the Jacksonites did it, and as for taking doctor's stuff
they'd no notion of it. But the Jacksonites said 'twas
no use, the Huntonites were all sick, and they must take
some doctor stuff, and if they wouldn't take it willingly
they must be made to take it. So they went to work and
fixed a dose that they called a healing act, that they said
would cure all the Huntonites and any body else that had
catched the sickness of 'em. The Huntonites declared
'twas no use for 'em to fix it, for they never would take
it as long as they lived, that's what they wouldn't; they
were as well as any body, and they'd fight it out till next
June before they'd take it. Howsomever, the Jacksonites
got their dose ready, and yesterday they carried it
into the House of Representatives and told the Huntonites
they must take it, and 'twould do 'em good. As soon
as the Huntonites smelt of it, they turned up their noses,
and said no, before they'd take that are plaguy dirty stuff
they'd fight 'em all over the State, inch by inch. But
the Jacksonites said 'twas no use, they might sniff as
much as they pleased, it was the only thing that would
cure 'em, and they must take it, and more than all that,
they was the strongest and they
should take it.
Some of the Huntonites looked pale as tho' they were
a little grain frightened, and some of them looked red
as though they were mad as a March hair. And some
of 'em begun to talk to the Jacksonites and tell 'em how
unreasonable it was to make 'em take doctor stuff when
they want sick. They were well now, and like as not if
they should take it; t'would make 'em all sick.
One of 'em, that talked like a very clever man got up
and coaxed 'em to ask the Judges of the great Court if
they thought there was any need of their taking sich
a dose, or if it would do 'em any good if they did take it.
But the Jacksonites said no, they shouldn't ask no sich
questions. They understood the business well enough,
they knew the Huntonites were sick, and they knew this
would cure 'em, and swallow it they should. Well, the
Huntonites see how 'twas gone goose with 'em, and they
thought the only chance left was to put their hands over
their mouths and fight and kick and scrabble with all
their might and keep it out of their throats as long as
they could. Still they tried to talk and reason with the
Jacksonites about it. They asked 'em to let them have
time to examine the medicine carefully and see what it
was made of, or that they would tell 'em what it was
made of, or why they thought it would do any good to
take it. But the Jacksonites said they shouldn't tell 'em
any thing about it, it would be `casting pearls before
swine,' and the good book said they mustn't do so.
The men who had fixed the dose knew what they were
about, they had fixed it right, and the Huntonites must
open their mouths and take it, and not parley any more
about it. And now the real tussle and the hard fight begun.
The House seemed to be so full of Jacksonites and Huntonites
that I guess there was n't but a few republicans
left. And I could n't help minding that the Jacksonites
took the seats of the democratic republicans, and the
Huntonites took the seats of the national republicans.
Well, the Jacksonites took the dose in one hand, and grab'd
the Huntonites with the other, and tipped their heads
back, and were jest agoing to pour it down their throats,
when the Huntonites fetched a spring and kicked it away
to the fourth day of April. But the Jacksonites run after
it and got it back again in about half an hour, and clinched
'em again, and got all ready to pour it down; but jest
as they got it almost to their lips, the Huntonites fetched
another spring and kicked it away to the fourth of
March. Away went the Jacksonites after it again, and
brought it back, and clinched the Huntonites in the same
manner as before, and they kicked it away again, but
they did n't kick this time quite to the end of February.
So they kept it agoing all the forenoon, but every time
the Huntonites kick'd the bitter dose away, it didn't go
so far as it did the last time before. I spose they begun
to grow tired and could n't kick so hard. Well, then
they tried to adjourn so as to get some dinner, but the
Jacksonites would n't let 'em. And they kept 'em there
till four o'clock in the afternoon without any dinner, and
I dont know but they thought the Huntonites would get
so hungry after a while that they would swallow it down
without much fuss. But it all would n't do, the nearer
it come to 'em, the tighter the Huntonites gritted their
teeth together, and I guess they'd a starved before they
would take it. Well after the Jacksonites had tried
nearly twenty times to pour down the bitter dose, and
the Huntonites had kicked it away as many times, both
parties seemed to be nearly tired out, and so they finally
agreed to adjourn till nine o'clock this morning. I
thought the Huntonites, if they once got out, would cut
and run home and get clear of the plaguy stuff. But instead
of that they all come in again this morning, and
they've been at it again all day, hammer and tongs, the
Jacksonites trying to pour it down, and the Huntonites
fighting against it, tooth and nail.
How it 'll come out I cant tell. Whether the State
will be ruined if they dont take it, I cant tell; or whether
it will cure them if they do take it, I can't tell. But I
can assure you, dear uncle, there's a greater fuss here, than
there was when the little boy said he run and jumped
over a fence and tore his trowses as if the heavens and
earth were coming to pieces. If we live through it, I
shall let you know something more about it.
Your loving neffu,
JACK DOWNING.
