LETTER LI.
In which Major Downing describes the arrival of Sargent
Joel with the Company at Washington.
My dear Neffu, — We had almost gin you up for
dead, you had been gone so long, before we got your
letter in the Portland Courier telling how you had been
away to Tennessee along with President Jackson.
Your poor mother had pined away so that she had
nothing left, seemingly, but skin and bones, and your
cousin Nabby had cried her eyes half out of her head,
poor girl. But when the Portland Courier came bringing
that are letter of yourn, Downingville was in a complete
uproar all day. Sargent Joel had come home
from Madawaska and dismissed your company, and gone
to work in the woods chopping wood. But as soon as
he heard your letter had come, he dropped his ax, and I
dont think he 's touched it since; and he put on his
regimentals and scoured up the old piece of a scythe
that he used to have for a sword, and stuck it into his
waistband, and strutted about as big as a major gineral.
Your mother begun to pick up her crums immediately,
and has been growing fat ever since. And Nabby run
about from house to house like a crazy bed-bug, telling
'em Jack was alive and was agoing to build up Downingville
and make something of it yet.
Washington City, Jan. 4, 1833.
To my dear Cousin Ephraim Downing, what watches the Legislater
at Augusta, away down east, in the State of Maine, while I stay
here and look arter Congress and the President.
Dear Cousin, — Sargent Joel got here day before
yesterday with my hearty old company of Downingville
boys, that went down to Madawaska with me last winter.
They cut rather a curious figure marching through Pensilvany
Avenu. One half of 'em had worn their shoes
out so that their toes stuck out like the heads of so many
young turtles, and t'other half had holes through their
knees or elbows, and Sargent Joel marched ahead of 'em
swinging his piece of an old scythe for a sword, and inquiring
of every one he met for Major Jack Downing.
They all told him to keep along till be got to the President's
house, which was the biggest house in the city except
the Congress house, and there he would find me.
I and the President were setting by the window in the
great east room, looking out and talking about Mr Calhoun
and so on, when the President begun to stare as
though he saw a catamount.
He started up on his feet, and says he, Major Downing,
if my eyes dont deceive me there 's Nullification now
coming up Pensilvany Avenu. He begun to call for his
pistols, and to tell his men to fasten up the doors, when
I looked out, and I knew Joel's strut in a minute. Says
I, dear Ginneral, that's no nullification, but its what 'll
put a stopper on nullification pretty quick if it once gets
to South Carolina. It 's my Downingville Company
commanded by Sargent Joel. At that the President
looked more pleased than I 've seen him before since he
got the news of the vote of Pensilvany. He ordered 'em
into the east room and gave 'em as much as they could
eat and drink of the best the house affords. He has
found quarters for 'em in the neighborhood, and says we
must be ready to march for South Carolina whenever he
says the word.
But I 'll tell you what 't is, cousin Ephraim, I begin
to grow a little kind of wamble-cropt about going to South
Carolina, arter all. If they 've got many such fellers
there as one Ginneral Blair there is here from that State,
I 'd sooner take my chance in the woods forty miles above
Downingville, fighting bears and wolves and catamounts,
than come within gun-shot of one of these Carolina giants.
He 's a whaler of a feller, as big as any two men in
Downingville. They say he weighs over three hundred
pounds. About a week ago he met Ginneral Duff Green
in the street and he fell afoul of him with a great club
and knocked him down, and broke his arm and beat him
almost to death, jest because he got mad at something
Mr Green said in his paper. And what makes me feel
more skittish about getting into the hands of such chaps,
is, because he says he could n't help it. He says all his
friends persuaded him not to meddle with Ginneral Green,
and he tried as hard as he could to let him alone, but he
`found himself unequal to the effort.' So Green like to
got killed.
The folks here sot out to carry him to court about it,
but he said he would n't go, and so he armed himself with
four pistols and two dirks and a great knife, and said
he 'd shoot the first man that touched him. Last night
he went to the Theatre with all his arms and coutrements
about him. And after he sot there a spell, and all the
folks were looking to see the play go on, he draws out
one of his pistols and fires it at the players. Then there
was a dreadful uproar. They told him he must clear
out about the quickest. But he said if they 'd let him
alone he 'd behave like a gentleman. So they went on
with the play again.
By and by he draws out another pistol and points it
towards the players. At that there was a whole parcel
of 'em seized him and dragged him out into another
room, big as he was. But pretty soon he got upon his
feet, and begun to rave like a mad ox. He pulled off his
coat and threw it down, and declared he 'd fight the
whole boodle of 'em. The constables were all so frightened
they cut and run, and nobody dared to go a near
him, till he got cooled down a little, when some of his
friends coaxed him away to a tavern. Now as for going
to South Carolina to fight such chaps as these, I 'd sooner
let nullification go to grass and eat mullen.
Sargent Joel told me when he left Downingville you
had jest got loaded up with apples and one thing another
to go down to Augusta to peddle 'em out; and that you
was a going to stay there while the Legislater folks were
there. So I thought it would be a good plan for you and
I to write to one another about once a week or so, how
matters get along.
Give my love to the folks up in Downingville whenever
you see 'em.
So I remain your loving Cousin,
MAJOR JACK DOWNING.
