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The collected works of Ambrose Bierce
Bierce, Ambrose (1842-1914?)
1.
VOLUME I ASHES OF THE BEACON THE LAND BEYOND THE BLOW FOR THE AHKOOND JOHN SMITH, LIBERATOR BITS OF AUTOBIOGRAPHY
THE SONG
4.
VOLUME IV SHAPES OF CLAY
THE PASSING SHOW
ELIXIR VITÆ
CONVALESCENT
AT THE CLOSE OF THE CANVASS
GEOTHEOS
POLITICS
THE VALLEY OF DRY BONES
POLYPHEMUS
IN DEFENSE
INVOCATION
RELIGION
TWO SOCIALISTS
A MORNING FANCY
VISIONS OF SIN
GENIUS
THE TOWN OF DÆ
AN ANARCHIST
AN OFFER OF MARRIAGE
ARMA VIRUMQUE
ON A PROPOSED CREMATORY
A DEMAND
THE WEATHER-WIGHT
T. A. H.
MY MONUMENT
MAD
FOR COERCION OF COLOMBIA
A TEAGOING ADMIRAL
THE WOOER
SILHOUETTES OF ORIENTALS
LAND OF THE PILGRIMS' PRIDE
A SINGLE TERMER
A PLAGUE OF ASSES
IN CUBA
FOR A CERTAIN CRITIC
ARTHUR McEWEN
CHARLES AND PETER
CONTEMPLATION
THE GOLDEN AGE
A PROPHET OF PEACE
AN UNREFORMABLE REFORMER
THE WORD-WAY IN PANAMA
THE JACK OF CLUBS
A NAVAL METHOD
ANOTHER ASPIRANT
A LEARNER
TO BRIDGET
AFTER TENNYSON
TO MY BIRD
BUSINESS
A POSSIBILITY
TO A CENSOR
“THE WHOLE WORLD KIN”
A FUTURE CONVERSATION
THE HESITATING VETERAN
A YEAR'S “CASUALTIES”
TO-DAY
AN ALIBI
A MEETING
J. F. B.
THE DYING STATESMAN
THE DEATH OF GRANT
THE FOUNTAIN REFILLED
LAUS LUCIS
NANINE
TECHNOLOGY
A REPLY TO A LETTER
TO OSCAR WILDE
BORN LEADERS OF MEN
THE CRIME OF 1903
FOR EXPULSION
JUDEX JOCOSUS
“GRAFT”
THE TALE OF A CRIME
TO THE BARTHOLDI STATUE
AN UNMERRY CHRISTMAS
FROM VIRGINIA TO PARIS
A “MUTE INGLORIOUS MILTON”
THE FREE TRADER'S LAMENT
SUBTERRANEAN PHANTASIES
IN MEMORIAM
THE STATESMEN
BROTHERS
THE CYNIC'S BEQUEST
CORRECTED NEWS
MR. FINK'S DEBATING DONKEY
TO MY LAUNDRESS
FAME
OMNES VANITAS
CONSOLATION
FATE
PHILOSOPHER BIMM
REMINDED
SALVINI IN AMERICA
ANOTHER WAY
ART
TO ONE ACROSS THE WAY
TO A DEBTOR ABROAD
GENESIS
LIBERTY
THE PASSING OF SHEPHERD
TO MAUDE
THE BIRTH OF VIRTUE
THE SCURRIL PRESS
STANLEY
ONE OF THE UNFAIR SEX
THE LORD'S PRAYER ON A COIN
AD ABSURDUM
SAITH THE CZAR
THE ROYAL JESTER
A CAREER IN LETTERS
THE FOLLOWING PAIR
POLITICAL ECONOMY
THE UNPARDONABLE SIN
INDUSTRIAL DISCONTENT
TEMPORA MUTANTUR
A FALSE ALARM
CONTENTMENT
CONSTANCY
THE NEW ENOCH ARDEN
DISAVOWAL
AN AVERAGE
INCURABLE
THE PUN
TO NANINE
VICE VERSA
A BLACKLIST
AUTHORITY
THE PSORIAD
PEACE
THANKSGIVING
L'AUDACE
THE GOD'S VIEW-POINT
THE ÆSTHETES
WITH MINE OWN PETARD
RESTORED
SIRES AND SONS
A CHALLENGE
TWO SHOWS
A POET'S HOPE
THE WOMAN AND THE DEVIL
TWO ROGUES
THE PIED PIPER OF BROOKLYN
NOT GUILTY
PRESENTIMENT
A STUDY IN GRAY
FOR MERIT
A BIT OF SCIENCE
THE TABLES TURNED
TO A DEJECTED POET
THE HUMORIST
MONTEFIORE
DISCRETION
AN EXILE
THE DIVISION SUPERINTENDENT
TO A PROFESSIONAL EULOGIST
ELECTION DAY
THE MILITIAMAN
A WELCOME
A SERENADE
THE WISE AND GOOD
THE LOST COLONEL
FOR TAT
A DILEMMA
METEMPSYCHOSIS
THE SAINT AND THE MONK
IN HIGH LIFE
A WHIPPER-IN
JUDGMENT
A BUBBLE
FRANCINE
AN EXAMPLE
REVENGE
THE GENESIS OF EMBARRASSMENT
IN CONTUMACIAM
FROM THE MINUTES
A WOMAN IN POLITICS
A BALLAD OF PIKEVILLE
AN AUGURY
LUSUS POLITICUS
BEREAVEMENT
A PICKBRAIN
THE NAVAL CONSTRUCTOR
DETECTED
BIMETALISM
TWO METHODS
FOUNDATIONS OF THE STATE
AN IMPOSTOR
FRANCE
A GUEST
A FALSE PROPHECY
A SONG OF THE MANY
ONE MORNING
THE KING OF BORES
HISTORY
THE HERMIT
THE YEARLY LIE
AN APOLOGUE
DIAGNOSIS
FALLEN
The Day of Wrath
ONE MOOD'S EXPRESSION
SOMETHING IN THE PAPERS
THE BINNACLE
ONE PRESIDENT
THE BRIDE
THE MAN BORN BLIND
A NIGHTMARE
A WET SEASON
THE CONFEDERATE FLAGS
HÆC FABULA DOCET
AGAIN
HOMO PODUNKENSIS
A SOCIAL CALL
MY DAY OF LIFE
SOME ANTE-MORTEM EPITAPHS
A KING OF CRAFT
STEPHEN DORSEY
MR. JUSTICE FIELD
GENERAL B. F. BUTLER
REPARATION
DISINCORPORATED
A KIT
DISJUNCTUS
A TRENCHER-KNIGHT
A VICE-PRESIDENT
A WASTED LIFE
THE SCRAP HEAP
POESY
HOSPITALITY
MAGNANIMITY
UNDERSTATED
AN ATTORNEY-GENERAL
FINANCIAL NEWS
ASPIRATION
DEMOCRACY
AN ENEMY TO LAW AND ORDER
FORESIGHT
A FAIR DIVISION
A LACKING FACTOR
THE POLITICIAN
ELIHU ROOT
AN ERROR
VANISHED AT COCK-CROW
WOMAN
A PARTISAN'S PROTEST
A BEQUEST TO MUSIC
ONEIROMANCY
JULY FOURTH
A PARADOX
REEDIFIED
A BULLETIN
AN INSCRIPTION
AN ERRONEOUS ASSUMPTION
A CONSTRUCTOR
GOD COMPLIES
IN ARTICULO MORTIS
THE DISCOVERERS
UNEXPOUNDED
THE EASTERN QUESTION
TWO TYPES
TO A CRITIC OF TENNYSON
COOPERATION
HUMILITY
STRAINED RELATIONS
EXONERATION
AFTER PORTSMOUTH
A VOICE FROM PEKIN
A PIOUS RITE
JUSTICE
AT THE BEACH
AN INFRACTION OF THE RULES
CONVERSELY
A WARNING
PSYCHOGRAPHS
FOR WOUNDS
A LITERARY METHOD
BACK TO NATURE
RUDOLPH BLOCK
BOYCOTT
TO HER
CREATION
REBUKE
PRAYER
THE LONG FEAR
AN INSPIRED PERFORMANCE
SEPULTURE
5.
VOLUME V BLACK BEETLES IN AMBER
AVALON
CAIN
ONE JUDGE
AN OBITUARIAN
A COMMUTED SENTENCE
A LIFTED FINGER
TWO DELEGATES
MATTER FOR GRATITUDE
THREE KINDS OF A ROGUE
1.
I
2.
II
3.
III
A MAN
YE FOE TO CATHAYE
SAMUEL SHORTRIDGE
AT A “NATIONAL ENCAMPMENT”
THEOSOPHISTRY
AZRAEL
COMPETITION
A VISION OF DOOM
GENESIS
RELIGIOUS PROGRESS
THE FALL OF MISS LARKIN
A RENDEZVOUS
YORICK
STANFORD'S WELCOME
POSTERITY'S AWARD
AN ART CRITIC
THE SPIRIT OF A SPONGE
ORNITHANTHROPOS
TO E. S. SALOMON,
DENNIS KEARNEY
FINIS ÆTERNITATIS
THE VETERAN
AN “EXHIBIT”
THE TRANSMIGRATIONS OF A SOUL
INDICTMENT ON EVIDENCE
TO AN ASPIRANT
AT THE WHITE HOUSE
TIDINGS OF GOOD
AN ACTOR
FAMINE'S REALM
THE MACKAIAD
A SONG IN PRAISE
A POET'S FATHER
A COWARD
TO MY LIARS
“PHIL” CRIMMINS
ON THE SCALES
CODEX HONORIS
TO W. H. L. B.
EMANCIPATION
JOHNDONKEY
HELL
BY FALSE PRETENSES
LUCIFER OF THE TORCH
“THE WHIRLIGIG OF TIME”
A RAILROAD LACKEY
THE LEGATEEE
“DIED OF A ROSE”
A LITERARY HANGMAN
AT THE ELEVENTH HOUR
A CONTROVERSIALIST
MENDAX
THE RETROSPECTIVE BIRD
THE OAKLAND DOG
THE UNFALLEN BRAVE
A CELEBRATED CASE
COUPLETS
A RETORT
A VISION OF RESURRECTION
MASTER OF THREE ARTS
THERSITES
A SOCIETY LEADER
EXPOSITOR VERITATIS
THE TROUBADOUR
A FINGER ON THE LIPS
THREE HIGHWAYMEN
TO “COLONEL” DAN BURNS
GEORGE A. KNIGHT
UNARMED
A POLITICAL VIOLET
THE SUBDUED EDITOR
“BLACK BART, Po8”
A “SCION OF NOBILITY”
THE NIGHT OF THE ELECTION
THE CONVICTS' BALL
TO ONE DETESTED
THE BOSS'S CHOICE
A MERCIFUL GOVERNOR
AN INTERPRETATION
A SOARING TOAD
AN UNDRESS UNIFORM
THE PERVERTED VILLAGE
MR. SHEETS
A JACK-AT-ALL-VIEWS
MY LORD POET
TO THE FOOL-KILLER
ONE AND ONE ARE TWO
MONTAGUE LEVERSON
THE WOFUL TALE OF MR. PETERS
TWIN UNWORTHIES
ART
A WAR CRY
IN DISSUASION
A PREDICTION
ANOTHER PLAN
A POLITICAL APOSTATE
TINKER DICK
A PEACEFUL COMMUNITY
WITH A BOOK
A COMPETITOR
GENEROSITY
BATS IN SUNSHINE
A WORD TO THE UNWISE
ON THE PLATFORM
JUDGE NOT
DESPERATION
TO DOG
TO A GRABBER
MEMORIAL DAY
A DAMPENED ARDOR
ADAIR WELCKER, POET
TO A WORD-WARRIOR
A CULINARY CANDIDATE
TO ONE ACQUITTED
CONTENT
AT THE OBSERVATORY
THE OLEOMARGARINE MAN
THE GENESIS OF CRIME
LLEWELLYN POWELL
THE SUNSET GUN
THE “VIDUATE DAME”
FOUR OF A KIND
RECONCILIATION
A VISION OF CLIMATE
A “MASS” MEETING
THE NEW DENNIS
A RATIONAL ANTHEM
INCIVISM
FAMINE IN PROSPERITY
AN EPIGRAMMATIST
FIG LEAF
FOR PRESIDENT, LELAND STANFORD
FOR MAYOR
A MINE FOR REFORMERS
IN PICKLE
JAMES MONTAGUE, POET
A CHEATING PREACHER
A CROCODILE
THE AMERICAN PARTY
UNCOLONELED
THE GATES AJAR
TO A BULLY
A LAND FIGHT
COMPLIANCE
ARBORICULTURE
A HOLIDAY
REJECTED
JUDEX JUDICATUS
ON THE WEDDING OF AN AERONAUT
A HASTY INFERENCE
A VOLUPTUARY
AD CATTONUM
THE NATIONAL GUARDSMAN
A REAR ELEVATION
IN UPPER SAN FRANCISCO
NIMROD
THE NEW DECALOGUE
ULTRA CREPIDAM
CENSOR LITERARUM
BORROWED BRAINS
YE FYGHTYNGE SEVENTH
INDICTED
OVER THE BORDER
TO AN INSOLENT ATTORNEY
ACCEPTED
A PROMISED FAST TRAIN
FROM THE DEATH-COLUMN
THE FARMERS' PRAYER
ONE OF THE SAINTS
A MILITARY INCIDENT
SUBSTANCE OR SHADOW
THE COMMITTEE ON PUBLIC MORALS
A PLAYWRIGHT
THE LEADER OF THE MINORITY
CALIFORNIA
GEORGE C. PERKINS
TO EITHER
DISAPPOINTMENT
THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF THEFT
DOWN AMONG THE DEAD MEN
THE LAST MAN
ARBOR DAY
THE PIUTE
FAME
ONE OF THE REDEEMED
A CRITIC
A QUESTION OF ELIGIBILITY
FLEET STROTHER
RECIPROCITY
CALIFORNIAN SUMMER PICTURES
SLANDER
JAMES L. FLOOD
THREE CANDIDATES FOR SENATOR
A GROWLER
AD MOODIUM
A SPADE
THE VAN NESSIAD
VALEDICTORY
A FISH COMMISSIONER
TO A STRAY DOG
IN HIS HAND
A DEMAGOGUE
IGNIS FATUUS
FROM TOP TO BOTTOM
AN IDLER
THE DEAD KING
A PATTER SONG
A CALLER
THE SHAFTER SHAFTED
TO ONE OUT OF FAVOR
PRIVATION
TO ONE IN CUSTODY
FOR A REVISED VERSION
THE MORMON QUESTION
AN ELECTION EXPENSE
WILLIAM F. SMITH
JUVENTUS MUNDI
TWO GUIDES
IN WARNING
APPARITION
A CREDITABLE COLLISION
AN EMIGRANT
CONTEMPT OF COURT
A PARTIAL ECLIPSE
THE MUMMERY
THE TWO CAVEES
METEMPSYCHOSIS
SLICKENS
“PEACEFUL EXPULSION”
ASPIRANTS THREE
THE BIRTH OF THE RAIL
A BAD NIGHT
ON STONE
ON STONE
LORING PICKERING
A WATER-PIRATE
THE REV. JOSEPH HEMPHILL
OTHERS
[Cynic perforce from studying mankind]
[McAllister, of talents rich are rare]
[Here lies Joseph Redding, who gave us the catfish]
[Judge Sawyer, whom in vain the people tried]
[Dennis Spencer's mortal coil]
[For those this mausoleum is erected]
[Beneath this stone sleeps Reuben Lloyd]
[Here lies Greer Harrison, a well cracked louse]
[This grave holds Barnes in all his glory]
[Rash mortal! stay thy feet and look around]
[Here Salomon's body reposes]
[When Waterman ended his bright career]
[Here lies the remains of Fred Emerson Brooks]
[George Perry here is stiff and stark]
[Here lies the last of Deacon Fitch]
[Beneath this stone O'Donnell's tongue's at rest]
[Hangman's hands laid in this tomb an]
[When Gabriel blows a dreadful blast]
[Here Porter Ashe is in the ground]
[Here Stanford lies, who thought it odd]
7.
VOLUME VII THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY
A
Abdication, n.
[Poor Isabella's dead, whose abdication]
Abracadabra.
[By Abracadabra we signify]
Abscond, v. i.
[Spring beckons! All things to the call respond]
Absent, adj.
[To men a man is but a mind. Who cares]
Abstainer, n.
[Said a man to a crapulent youth: “I thought]
Accountability, n.
[“My accountability, bear in mind,”]
Admonition, n.
[Consigned, by way of admonition]
Advice, n.
[“The man was in such deep distress,”]
Aim, n.
[“Cheer up! Have you no aim in life?”]
Allah, n.
[Allah's good laws I faithfully have kept]
Allegiance, n.
[This thing Allegiance, as I suppose]
Alone, adj.
[In contact, lo! the flint and steel]
Altar, n.
[They stood before the altar and supplied]
Anoint, v. t.
[As sovereigns are anointed by the priesthood]
Aphorism, n.
[The flabby wine-skin of his brain]
Apothecary, n.
[When Jove sent blessings to all men that are]
Archbishop, n.
[If I were a jolly archbishop]
Arsenic, n.
[“Eat arsenic? Yes, all you get,”]
Art, n.
[One day a wag—what would the wretch be at?—]
Ass, n.
[“Hail, holy Ass!” the quiring angels sing]
Avernus, n.
[Facilis descensus Averni]
B
Babe or Baby, n.
[Ere babes were invented]
Bacchus, n.
[Is public worship, then, a sin]
Baptism, n.
[But whether the plan of immersion]
Bath, n.
[The man who taketh a steam bath]
Beg, v.
[Who is that, father?]
Behavior, n.
[Recordare, Jesu pie]
Benedictines, n.
[She thought it a crow, but it turned out to be]
Berenice's Hair, n.
[Her locks an ancient lady gave]
Body-snatcher, n.
[“One night,” a doctor said, “last fall]
Brahma, n.
[O Brahma, thou rare old Divinity]
C
Carmelite, n.
[As Death was a-riding out one day]
Cat, n.
[This is a dog]
Cemetery, n.
[In the earth we here prepare a]
Christian, n.
[I dreamed I stood upon a hill, and, lo!]
Clock, n.
[A busy man complained one day]
Close-fisted, adj.
[“Close-fisted Scotchman!” Johnson cried]
Cœnobite, n.
[O Cœnobite, O cœnobite]
Commonwealth, n.
[This commonwealth's capitol's corridors view]
Controversy, n.
[In controversy with the facile tongue]
Corporal, n.
[Fiercely the battle raged and, sad to tell]
Critic, n.
[There is a land of pure delight]
Cross, n.
[“Be good, be good!” the sisterhood]
D
Danger, n.
[A savage beast which, when it sleeps]
Dead, adj.
[Done with the work of breathing; done]
Debt, n.
[As, pent in an aquarium, the troutlet]
Decalogue, n.
[Thou shalt no God but me adore]
Decide, v. i.
[A leaf was riven from a tree]
Delusion, n.
[All hail, Delusion! Were it not for thee]
Deputy, n.
[“Chief Deputy,” the Master cried]
Diary, n.
[Hearst kept a diary wherein were writ]
Die, n.
[A cube of cheese no larger than a die]
Disobey, v. t.
[His right to govern me is clear as day]
Duel, n.
[That dueling's a gentlemanly vice]
Duty, n.
[Sir Lavender Portwine, in favor at court]
E
Eavesdrop, v. i.
[A lady with one of her ears applied]
Editor, n.
[O, the Lord of Law on the Throne of Thought]
Egotist, n.
[Megaceph, chosen to serve the State]
Elegy, n.
[The cur foretells the knell of parting day]
Emancipation, n.
[He was a slave: at word he went and came]
End, n.
[The man was perishing apace]
Enough, pro.
[Enough is as good as a feast—for that matter]
Epitaph, n.
[Here lie the bones of Parson Platt]
Erudition, n.
[So wide his erudition's mighty span]
Excess, n.
[Hail, high Excess—especially in wine]
Excommunication, n.
[This “excommunication” is a word]
Existence, n.
[A transient, horrible, fantastic dream]
Experience, n.
[To one who, journeying through night and fog]
F
Famous, adj.
[Done to a turn on the iron, behold]
Fashion, n.
[A king there was who lost an eye]
Female, n.
[The Maker, at Creation's birth]
Fib, n.
[When David said: “All men are liars,” Dave]
Fiddle, n.
[To Rome said Nero: “If to smoke you turn]
Folly, n.
[Folly! although Erasmus praised thee once]
Force, n.
[“Force is but might,” the teacher said]
Forma Pauperis (Latin).
[When Adam long ago in Cupid's awful court]
Freedom, n.
[Freedom, as every schoolboy knows]
Friendship, n.
[The sea was calm and the sky was blue]
Frying-Pan, n.
[Old Nick was summoned to the skies]
Funeral, n.
[The savage dies—they sacrifice a horse]
G
Gallows, n.
[Whether on the gallows high]
Genteel, adj.
[Observe with care, my son, the distinction I reveal]
Geographer, n.
[Habeam, geographer of wide renown]
Ghost, n.
[He saw a ghost]
Gnu, n.
[A hunter from Kew caught a distant view]
Gorgon, n.
[The Gorgon was a maiden bold]
Grape, n.
[Hail noble fruit!—by Homer sung]
Grave, n.
[Beside a lonely grave I stood]
Great, adj.
[“I'm great,” the Lion said—I reign]
H
Hatchet, n.
[“O bury the hatchet, irascible Red]
Head-Money, n.
[In ancient times there lived a king]
Heat, n.
[Heat, says Professor Tyndall, is a mode]
Heathen, n.
[“The Hebrews are heathens!” says Howison. He's]
Helpmate, n.
[“Now, why is yer wife called a helpmate, Pat?”]
History, n.
[Of Roman history, great Niebuhr's shown]
Homiletics, n.
[So skilled the parson was in homiletics]
Hope, n.
[Delicious Hope! when naught to man is left]
Hovel, n.
[Twaddle had a hovel]
Humorist, n.
[Lo! the poor humorist, whose tortured mind]
Hypochondriasis, n.
[Some heaps of trash upon a vacant lot]
I
Ichor, n.
[Fair Venus, speared by Diomed]
Ignoramus, n.
[Dumble was an ignoramus]
Immodest, adj.
[There was once a man in Ispahan]
Immortality, n.
[A toy which people cry for]
Imposition, n.
[“Lo! by the laying on of hands,”]
Improbability, n.
[His tale he told with a solemn face]
Inauspiciously, adv.
[A Roman slave appeared one day]
Indifferent, adj.
[“You tiresome man!” cried Indolentio's wife]
Infralapsarian, n.
[Two theologues once, as they wended their way]
Ingrate, n.
[“All men are ingrates,” sneered the cynic. “Nay,”]
Inscription, n.
[In the sky my soul is found]
[Affliction sore long time she boar]
[The clay that rests beneath this stone]
Insectivora, n.
[“See,” cries the chorus of admiring preachers]
Intimacy, n.
[Two Seidlitz powders, one in blue]
J
Jester, n.
[The widow-queen of Portugal]
K
Keep, v. t.
[He willed away his whole estate]
King, n.
[A king, in times long, long gone by]
King's Evil, n.
[a crowd of wretched souls]
['tis spoken]
[Ye Kynge his evill in me laye]
['strangely visited people]
Knight, n.
[Once a warrior gentle of birth]
L
Land, n.
[A life on the ocean wave]
Last, n.
[Ah, punster, would my lot were cast]
Law, n.
[Once Law was sitting on the bench]
Lead, n.
[Hail, holy Lead!—of human feuds the great]
Leonine, adj.
[The electric light invades the dunnest deep of Hades]
Lexicographer, n.
[God said: “Let Spirit perish into Form,”]
Liberty, n.
[The rising People, hot and out of breath]
Life, n.
[“Life's not worth living, and that's the truth,”]
Limb, n.
['Twas a pair of boots that the lady bought]
Logomachy, n.
['Tis said by divers of the scholar-men]
Lord, n.
[Miss Sallie Ann Splurge, of her own accord]
Loss, n.
[Here Huntington's ashes long have lain]
Lyre, n.
[I sit astride Parnassus with my lyre]
M
Machination, n.
[So plain the advantages of machination]
Macrobian, n.
[When I was young the world was fair]
Maiden, n.
[A lovelorn maiden she sat and sang]
Mammon, n.
[He swore that all other religions were gammon]
Man, n.
[When the world was young and Man was new]
Material, adj.
[Material things I know, or feel, or see]
Meekness, n.
[M is for Moses]
Meerschaum, n.
[There was a youth you've heard before]
Misdemeanor, n.
[By misdemeanors he essayed to climb]
Monosyllabic, adj.
[The man who writes in Saxon]
Monument, n.
[The bones of Agamemnon are a show]
Mummy, n.
[By means of the Mummy, mankind, it is said]
N
Nectar, n.
[Juno drank a cup of nectar]
Nose, n.
[There's a man with a Nose]
O
Old, adj.
[“Old books? The devil take them!” Goby said]
Olympian, adj.
[His name the smirking tourist scrawls]
Opera, n.
[The actor apes a man—at least in shape]
Oppose, v.
[How lonely he who thinks to vex]
Orthography, n.
[A spelling reformer indicted]
Out-of-Doors, n.
[I climbed to the top of a mountain one day]
Ovation, n.
[“I had an ovation!” the actor man said]
Overeat, v.
[Hail, Gastronome, Apostle of Excess]
P
Peace, n.
[O, what's the loud uproar assailing]
Perseverance, n.
[“Persevere, persevere!” cry the homilists all]
Physiognomy, n.
[“There is no art,” says Shakspeare, foolish man]
Picture, n.
[Behold great Daubert's picture here on view]
Pie, n.
[Cold pie is a detestable]
Piety, n.
[The pig is taught by sermons and epistles]
Portable, adj.
[His light estate, if neither he did make it]
Precipitate, adj.
[Precipitate in all, this sinner]
Prehistoric, adj.
[He lived in a period prehistoric]
Preside, v.
[The Headliner, holding the copy in hand]
President, n.
[If that's an honor surely 'tis a greater]
Prison, n.
[“Stone walls do not a prison make,”]
Prospect, n.
[Blow, blow, ye spicy breezes]
Q
Quiver, n.
[He extracted from his quiver]
Quixotic, adj.
[When ignorance from out our lives can banish]
Quotation, n.
[Intent on making his quotation truer]
R
Rank, n.
[He held at court a rank so high]
Rash, adj.
[Now lay your bet with mine, nor let]
Reach, n.
[This is a truth, as old as the hills]
Reading, n.
[We know by one's reading]
Recruit, n.
[Fresh from the farm or factory or street]
Redemption, n.
[We must awake Man's spirit from its sin]
Redundant, adj.
[The Sultan said: “There's evidence abundant]
Renown, n.
[I touched the harp in every key]
Repentance, n.
[Desirous to avoid the pains of Hell]
Reporter, n.
[More dear than all my bosom knows, O thou]
Resign, v. t.
['Twas rumored Leonard Wood had signed]
Respite, n.
[Altgeld upon his incandescent bed]
Responsibility, n.
[Alas, things ain't what we should see]
Retribution, n.
[What, what! Dom Pedro, you desire to go]
Review, v. t.
[To set your wisdom holding not a doubt of it]
Right, n.
[By what right, then, do royal rulers rule?]
Rimer, n.
[The rimer quenches his unheeded fires]
Road, n.
[All roads, howsoe'er they diverge, lead to Rome]
Rumor, n.
[Sharp, irresistible by mail or shield]
S
Sabbath, n.
[Six days shalt thou labor and do all thou art able]
Sacred, adj.
[All things are either sacred or profane]
Safety-Clutch, n.
[Once I seen a human ruin]
Satire, n.
[Hail Satire! be thy praises ever sung]
Scarabee, n.
[He fell by his own hand]
Scrap-Book, n.
[Dear Frank, that scrap-book where you boast]
Seine, n.
[The devil casting a seine of lace]
Severalty, n.
[Lo! the poor Indian whose unsuited mind]
Sheriff, n.
[John Elmer Pettibone Cajee]
Smithareen, n.
[The wheels go round without a sound]
Sophistry, n.
[His bad opponent's “facts” he sweeps away]
Success, n.
[The bard who would prosper must carry a book]
Sycophant, n.
[As the lean leech, its victim found, is pleased]
Symbolic, adj.
[They say 'tis conscience feels compunction]
T
Table d' HÔTE, n.
[Old Paunchinello, freshly wed]
Tariff, n.
[The Enemy of Human Souls]
Tenacity, n.
[Of such tenacity his grip]
Tortoise, n.
TO MY PET TORTOISE
U
Understanding, n.
[His understanding was so keen]
Urbanity, n.
[The owner of a powder mill]
V
Vanity, n.
[They say that hens do cackle loudest when]
W
Wall Street, n.
[Carnegie the dauntless has uttered his call]
Washingtonian, n.
[They took away his vote and gave instead]
Weather, n.
[Once I dipt into the future far as human eye could see]
Whangdepootenawah, n.
[Should you ask me whence this laughter]
Worms'-meat, n.
[Ambitious fool! so mad to be a show!]
Y
Yesterday, n.
[But yesterday I should have thought me blest]
Z
Zeal, n.
[When Zeal sought Gratitude for his reward]
Zigzag, v. t.
[He zedjagged so uncomen wyde]
6.
VOLUME VI
THE SLEEPING LION
IN DOGLAND
A PAIR OF OPPOSITES
THE DEGENERATE
THE VAIN CAT
A SOCIALIST
THE CO-DEFENDANTS
IN CONSEQUENCE OF APPLAUSE
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|
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The collected works of Ambrose Bierce
AN EPIGRAMMATIST
Once Hector Stuart in his tersest mood
Took up his pencil. “By the holy rood!”
He cried, “I'll write an epigram.” He did—
Nay, by the holy
mile
his pencil slid.
The collected works of Ambrose Bierce
