75. CHAPTER LXXV.
AN EXCHANGE.
The occupation of Richmond by Ruffleton, and the
defeat of the British fleet in an attempt to enter Hampton
Roads occurred on the same day; and immediately upon
the reception of intelligence of the disaster, Ruffleton sent
Virus, his negotiator, to the head-quarters of Randolph.
“Well, sir,” said the President, when Virus entered his
tent, “what are Ruffleton's demands?”
“Unconditional submission, of course,” said General
Crook.
“No,” said Virus; “he demands nothing. He merely
proposes an exchange.”
“An exchange,” continued the President. “What prisoners
have you, excepting a few superannuated negroes,
abandoned by their masters? And the owners of these
poor creatures, it ought to be known the world over, were
natives of the North. Ah, Virus, the most unmerciful
slave-drivers in the South were once anti-slavery Yankees.”
“That is true, sir!” said Virus, “and all such prisoners
are made exceptions by his Highness. They are guillotined
immediately.”
“And yet your Highness proposes in his Proclamation
to legalize slavery everywhere!”
“Therefore he punishes the inhuman masters who abandon
the aged slaves to their fate.”
“Pray give my compliments to General Ruffleton,” said
General Crook, “and say I have slightly modified my opinion
of his character. He is not such a villain as I supposed
him to be!”
“But what does he propose?” asked the President.
“He has taken possession of the two detached eastern
counties of Virginia, Accomac and Northampton—”
“Ay,” said Crook, “he holds the Oyster Fundum, but I
doubt whether his men are expert at dredging.”
“Well, what does he propose to do with Accomac and
Northampton?” continued Randolph.
“To exchange them for Admiral Bang.”
“For Admiral Bang! What a novelty! Did the counties
make any resistance?”
“Every creek had its battery. We lost two thousand
men!”
“But surely you have not made prisoners of the entire
population?”
“No—but there is a question if the slaves be not a fair
prize. If the project of his Highness to legalize slavery be
carried into effect, the slaves of the eastern shore will bring
a large sum of money.”
“But,” said Randolph, smiling, “in the meantime they
will consume a vast quantity of provisions. At this season
it will not do to eat the oysters.”
“They have crabs and clams, your Excellency,” said
Crook, archly. “But here comes Blount, and I hope he
will second the motion to exchange the Admiral for negroes.”
And Blount did advocate the measure. Indeed, Randolph
agreed to the proposition with cheerfulness, and the
arrangement was consummated without delay.
“And now,” said Crook, “I have an exchange to propose.”
“Pray proceed,” said Virus.
“Oh, you must understand that Lord Slysir is to be a
principal in the negotiation. It is for an exchange of
breeches.”
“Pardon me, General,” said Virus gravely, “but really I
do not comprehend you. I am ignorant of the motive for this
levity, and am wholly uninformed of the fact to which you
allude.”
“The motive of the levity,” said Crook, “is to manifest
our buoyant spirits under the calamity of an invasion, and
to show you that we are not likely to despair. But as to
the fact—I see how it is. His Lordship has endeavored to
suppress the affair. I'll tell you all about it.” He did so
and then proceeded thus: “Now, Virus, you will much
oblige me, when you return, by gazing steadily a moment
at his Lordship's breeches, and then inquiring who's his
tailor. If you don't divulge the secret to your people, I
will send spies to whisper that Lord Slysir conquers both in
the field and in the boudoir in my breeches.”
“His Lordship,” said Virus, “will no doubt be very
much annoyed. But, nevertheless, I may as well inform
you that he has not yet reached Richmond. Upon arriving
at —, his Lordship received certain information which
induced him to pause in his travels.”
“By George, Blount,” said Crook, in a whisper, “it was
at — that the ladies left us! Can you put that and that
together?”
Blount merely smiled, but made no remark, and Virus,
having accomplished the object of his mission, embraced
the opportunity to return to the head-quarters at Richmond.
“Gentlemen,” said Randolph, who had been for some
time persuing a report from Captain Fink of the Scouts,
that had been despatched by a special messenger, “here is
information of some importance. At —, it appears, some
10,000 men, under General Maller, were detached, at the
special instance of Lord Slysir, for the reduction of our
Castle in Amherst.”
“The deuce!” exclaimed Crook. “General,” he continued,
turning to Blount, “you are deeply interested in
that movement. By George, the fat Lord, and in my
breeches, too, has thrust himself between us and the ladies!”
“I own that I am deeply interested in this movement,
General. Amherst Castle is an extremely important place.
If it should fall into the hands of the enemy—”
“That is not probable,” said Randolph. “The place is
safe with 1000 men against 10,000. But Bim's Caps are
the only disciplined troops there at present; however, there
will soon be a division under Major General Toler. I think
the Castle is safe. Still, the garrison must have warning of
the menaced blow. Maller will employ every artifice for its
reduction. Send for Wiry Willy.”
A messenger brought in Willy, who readily undertook
to perform the journey, not doubting his ability to notify
the inmates of the Castle of the approaching danger in
advance of the detachment's arrival before the walls.
