University of Virginia Library

36. CHAPTER XXXVI.
RALPH MAKES LOVE TO MISS SALLIANNA.

We shall now return to Miss Sallianna, and see what effect
the viper tendencies of Mr. Verty had produced upon that young
lady.

The hysterics did not last long. Miss Sallianna had a large
and useful assortment of feminine weapons of this description,
and was proficient in the use of all—from the embarrassed, simpering
laugh and maiden blush, with down-cast eyes, raised
suddenly, at times, toward the “beloved object,” then abased
again—to the more artistic and effective weapons of female influence,
tears, sobs, convulsions, hysterics and the rest. In each
and all of these accomplishments was Miss Sallianna versed.

The hysterics, therefore, did not last long; the eyes grew
serene again very soon; and contenting herself with a few spiteful
looks toward the group in the garden, which glances she
accompanied with a determined and vigorous rubbing of her
antique nose, Miss Sallianna gently raised her fan, and seeing a
cavalier approaching from the town, assumed her habitual air
of languishing and meditative grace.

This cavalier was our friend Ralph, who, having deposited Mr.
Jinks upon the earth before they emerged from the willows in
sight of the Bower of Nature, now came on, laughing, and ready
for any adventure which should present itself.

Ralph drew up before the house, tied his horse, and entered.

Miss Sallianna rose graciously, smiling.

“Good morning, sir,” said the lady, rolling her eyes toward
the ceiling, and leaning her head on her right shoulder, “we have
a charming day.”

“Oh, charming! but that is not all, madam,” said Ralph,
smiling satirically, as he bent profoundly over the hand given to
him.

“Not all, sir?” sighed the lady.

“There is something still more charming.”

“What is that?”

“The dear companion with whom good fortune blesses me.”

This was so very direct, that Miss Sallianna actually blushed.

“Oh, no—” she murmured.

“Yes, yes!”

“You men—”

“Are sincere—”

“Oh, no! such flatterers.

“Flatterers, madam?” said Ralph, laughing, “that is true of
some of us, but not of me; I am so perfectly sincere, and clad
in the simplicity of my nature to that degree, that what I say is
the pure out-gushing of my heart—ahem!”

The lady smiled, and motioned toward a settee.

“The beauties of nature—”

“Yes, my dear madam.”

“Are—ahem!”

“Yes, yes.”

“So much more beautiful then those of art,” sighed Miss
Sallianna, contemplating the ceiling, as though nature had taken
up her post there to be gazed at.

“I fully agree with you,” said Ralph, “they are.”

“Oh, yes—they are—I knew you would—you are so—so
remarkable—”

“No, no, Miss Sallianna!”

“Yes, you are—for your intrinsic perspicuity, sir—la!”

And Miss Sallianna ogled her visitor.

“This,” said Ralph, with enthusiasm, “is the proudest moment
of my life. The beautiful Sallianna—”

“Oh, Mr. Ashley.”

“Yes, madam!” said Ralph, “torture would not make me
change the word.”

“La! Mr. Ashley!”

“The beautiful Miss Sallianna has declared that I am possessed
of intrinsic perspicuity! I need nothing more. Now let
the fates descend!”

With which heroic words Mr. Ralph Ashley wiped his brow
with solemn dignity, and chuckled behind his handkerchief.

“I always admired perspicuity,” said Miss Sallianna, with a
languid glance.

“And I, beauty, madam.”

“La! sir.”

“Admiration is a weak word, Miss Sallianna.”

“Opprobrium?” suggested the lady.

“Yes, yes! that is the word! Thank you, Miss Sallianna.
I am not as strong in philology as you are. I should have said
opprobrium—that is what I have always regarded beauty, such as
yours, all my life.”

Miss Sallianna covered here face with her fan. Here was an
opportunity to supply the place of the faithless Verty and the
odious Jinks. As the thought occurred to her, Miss Sallianna
assumed an awful expression of favor and innocent fondness.
Ralph shuddered as he caught sight of it.

“Are you fond of ladies, sir?” asked Miss Sallianna, smiling.

“Yes, Miss Sallianna, devotedly,” said Ralph, recovering, in
some degree.

“I should think so.”

“Why, madam?”

“From your visits.”

“My visits?”

“Oh, yes—you are very sly!”

“Sly?—I?”

“Yes, sir!”

“Never!”

“I think you have grown fond of—”

“Yourself, madam?”

“La—no. I fear—”

“As I do—”

“That such a thing—”

“Is more than I could presume to do,” said Ralph, laughing.

Miss Sallianna bestowed upon the young gentleman a look
from her maiden eyes, which seemed to say that he might presume
to grow fond of her, if it had really become necessary to his
peace of mind.

“But I meant Fanny,” she said.

“Fanny!”

“Yes, your cousin.”

“A mere baby!” said Ralph, with nonchalance.

“I agree with you.”

“Which I consider a circumstance of great encouragement,
Miss Sallianna. The fact is, Fanny is very well in her way, and
in course of time will make, no doubt, a very handsome woman.
But at present I only call to see her because I have nothing else
to do.”

“Indeed?”

“I am just from college.”

“Yes.”

“And consequently very innocent and inexperienced. I am
sure you will take charge of my education.”

“La! Mr. Ashley.”

“I mean, Miss Sallianna, the education, not of my mind—that
is finished and perfect: Oh, no! not that! The education of
my heart!”

Ralph was getting on at headlong speed.

“Do you consent?” he said.

“La—really—indeed—”

“Why not, oh, beautiful lady—”

“How can I ever—so inexperienced—so innocent a person as
myself can scarcely—”

And Miss Sallianna fell into a flutter.

“Then Fanny must.”

“Oh, no!” observed Miss Sallianna, with vivacity.

“Why not?” said Ralph.

“She could not—”

“Could not!”

“She is too young, and then besides—”

“Besides, Miss Sallianna?”

“She is already taken up with her affair with Mr. Verty.”

“What!” cried Ralph, beginning to have the tables turned
upon him, and to suffer for his quizzing.

“She is evidently in love with Mr. Verty,” said Miss Sallianna,
compassionately; “that is, the child fancies that she feels a rare
and inexpressive delight in his presence. Such children!”

“Yes, madam!” said Ralph, frowning.

“Especially that silly young man.”

“Verty?”

“Yes; he is very presumptuous, too. Just think that he presumed
to—to—make love to me this morning;” and Miss Sallianna's
countenance was covered with a maiden blush. “I could
scarcely persuade him that his attentions were not agreeable.”

And Miss Sallianna looked dignified and ladylike.

“Fanny in love with him,” said Ralph, reflecting.

“Look through the window,” said Miss Sallianna, smiling.

Ralph obeyed, and beheld Verty and Fanny sitting on a knoll,
in the merriest conversation;—that is to say, Fanny was thus
talking. Young ladies always begin to converse very loud when
visitors arrive—for what reason has not yet been discovered.
Verty's absent look in the direction of Fanny's face might very
well have been considered the stare of a lover.

“Do you doubt any longer?”

“Oh, no!”

“Then, Mr. Ashley—”

“Yes, madam.”

“In future you will—”

“Care nothing for—”

“The person—”

“Who seems to me the concentration of folly and everything
of that description—no, madam! In future I will carefully
avoid her!”

And with this ambiguous speech, Mr. Ralph rose, begged Miss
Sallianna to excuse him for a short time, and making her a low
and devoted bow, took his way into the garden, and toward the
spot where Fanny and Verty were sitting.