29. CHAPTER XXIX.
INTERCHANGE OF COMPLIMENTS.
O'Brallaghan, as he passed through the shop, requested to
be informed where Mr. Jinks was going.
Jinks stopped, and scowled at Mr. O'Brallaghan, thereby intimating
that his, Jinks', private rights were insolently invaded by
a coarse interrogatory.
O'Brallaghan observed, that if Mr. Jinks was laboring under
the impression that he, O'Brallaghan, was to be frowned down
by an individual of his description, he was greatly mistaken.
And by way of adding to the force of this observation, Mr.
O'Brallaghan corrugated his forehead in imitation of his
adversary.
Jinks replied, that he was equally indifferent to the scowls of
Mr. O'Brallaghan, and expressed his astonishment and disgust at
being annoyed, when he was going out to take some exercise for
the benefit of his health.
O'Brallaghan informed Mr. Jinks that the going out had nothing
to do with it, and that he, Jinks, knew very well that he,
O'Brallaghan, objected to nothing but the tone assumed toward
himself by the said Jinks, whose airs were not to be endured,
and, in future, would not be, by him. If this was not satisfactory,
he, the said Jinks, might take the law of him, or come out
and have it decided with shillalies, either of which courses were
perfectly agreeable to him, O'Brallaghan.
Whereupon, Jinks expanded his nostril, and said that gentlemen
did not use the vulgar Irish weapon indicated.
To which O'Brallaghan replied, that the circumstance in question
would not prevent Mr. Jinks' using the weapon.
A pause followed these words, broken in a moment, however,
by Mr. Jinks, who stated that Mr. O'Brallaghan was a caitiff.
O'Brallaghan, growing very red in the face, observed that Mr.
Jinks owed his paternity to a “gun.”
Jinks, becoming enraged thereupon, drew his sword, and declared
his immediate intention of ridding the earth of a scoundrel
and a villain.
Which intention, however, was not then carried into execution,
owing to the timely arrival of a red-faced, though rather
handsome Irish lady of twenty-five or thirty, who, in the broadest
Celtic, commanded the peace, and threatened the combatants
with a hot flat-iron, which she brandished in her stalwart fist.
O'Brallaghan laid down the stick which he had seized, and
ogled the lady, declaring in words that the wish of mistress
O'Callighan was law to him, and that further, he had no desire
to fight with the individual before him, who had been making use
of abusive and threatening language, and had even drawn his
skewer.
Jinks stated that he would have no more altercation with an
individual of Mr. O'Brallaghan's standing in society—he would
not demean himself—and from that moment shook the dust of his,
O'Brallaghan's, establishment from his, Jinks', feet. Which declaration
was accompanied with a savage kick upon the door.
O'Brallaghan congratulated himself upon the extreme good
fortune for himself involved in Mr. Jinks' decision, and hoped
he would carefully observe the friendly and considerate advice he
now gave him, which was, never to show his nose in the shop
again during the period of his mundane existence.
Whereupon Jinks, annihilating his adversary with a terrific
frown, stated his intention to implicitly observe the counsel given
him, and further, to have revenge.
In which O'Brallaghan cheerfully acquiesced, observing that
the importance attached by himself to the threats of Mr. Jinks
was exactly commensurate with the terror which would be caused
him by the kick of a flea.
And so, with mutual and terrible frowns, this alarming interview
terminated: Mr. Jinks grimacing as he departed with awful
menace, and getting his grasshopper legs entangled in his sword;
Mr. O'Brallaghan remaining behind, though not behind the
counter, paying devoted attention to the ruddy and handsome
lady with the hot flat-iron, Mistress Judith O'Callighan, who
watched the retreating Jinks with tender melancholy.
