University of Virginia Library

31. CHAPTER XXXI.
MR. JINKS ON HORSE-BACK, GOING TO TAKE REVENGE.

Jinks remained silent a moment. Standing face to face, the
two personages surveyed each other in silence—the one laughing,
joyous, ready for any amusement which would be so obliging as
to turn up; the other stately, warlike, and breathing terrible and
malignant vengeance.

Ralph laughed.

“I say, old fellow, what's the matter?” he asked; “you look
decidedly blood-thirsty.”

“I am, sir!”

“By Jove! I don't doubt it: you resemble Achilles, when he
and Agamemnon had their miff. What's the odds?”

“I have been insulted, sir!”

“Insulted?”

“And tricked!”

“Impossible.”

Jinks remained silent for a moment, looking after Verty.

“Yes,” he said, with an awful scowl, “that young man has
robbed me of my mistress—”

“Who—Verty?”

“Yes, sir.”

Ralph burst out laughing.

“What are you laughing at?” asked Jinks, with dignity.

“At your falling in love with Redbud Summers.”

“I am not, sir; perhaps in light moments I may have made

that youthful damsel a few gallant speeches; but I did not refer
to her, sir.”

“To whom, then?”

“To the perfidious Sallianna.”

“Oh!” cried Ralph, restraining his laughter by a powerful
effort.

“What surprises you, sir?”

“Nothing.”

“You laugh.”

“Can't help it. The idea of your thinking Verty your rival
in the affections of Miss Sallianna! Jinks, my boy, you are
blinded with love—open your eyes, and don't think you can see
while they are closed. I tell you, Verty is in love with Redbud
—I know it, sir. Or, if he is not with Redbud, it's Fanny. No,
I don't think it is Fanny,” murmured Ralph, with a thoughtful
expression; “I think I'm safe there. A dangerous rival!”

And Ralph smiled at his own thoughts.

“What did you say, sir?” asked Jinks, frowning in the direction
of the Bower of Nature.

“Nothing, my boy; but I say, Jinks, what makes you look so
fierce? You resemble an ogre—you're not going to eat Mr.
Verty?'

“No, sir; but I'm going to call him to account. If he is not
my rival, he has stood in my way.”

“How?”

“The perfidious Sallianna has fallen in love with him!”

And Jinks groaned.

Ralph took his arm with a sympathizing expression, and restraining
a violent burst of laughter, said:

“Is it possible! But I knew something must have happened
to make you so angry.”

“Say furious!”

“Are you furious?”

“Yes, sir!”

“Come, now, I'll bet a pistole to a penny that you are
revengeful in your present feelings.

“I am, sir!”

“What can you do?”

“I can defy my enemy.”

“Oh, yes! I really forgot that; I must be present, recollect,
at the encounter.”

“You may, sir! I shall spit him upon my sword!”

And Jinks, with a terrible gesture, transfixed imaginary enemies
against the atmosphere.

Ralph choked as he gazed at Mr. Jinks, and shaking with
pent up laughter:

“Can't you find something, Jinks, for me to do?” he said, “this
affair promises to be interesting.”

“You may carry the challenge I propose writing, if you will,
sir.”

“If I will! as if I would not do ten times as much for my dear
friend Jinks.”

“Thanks, sir.”

“Promise me one thing, however.”

“What is it, sir?”

“To be cool.”

“I am cool—I'll throttle her!”

“Throttle!”

“Yes, sir; annihilate her!”

“Her!”

“Yes, the treacherous Sallianna. She has made me wretched
forever—lacerated my existence, and I am furious, sir; I do not
deny it.”

“Furious?”

“Yes, sir; furious, and I have reason to be, sir. I am ferocious,
sir; I am overwhelmed with rage!”

And Jinks ground his teeth.

“What, at a woman?”

“At a perfidious woman.”

“Fie, Jinks!” is it credible that a man of your sense should
pay the sex so high a compliment?”

This view seemed to strike Mr. Jinks, and clearing his throat:

“Hum—ah—well,” he said, “the fact is, sir, my feeling is
rather one of contempt than anger. But other things have
occurred this morning to worry me.”

“What?”

Jinks circumstantially detailed his interview with O'Brallaghan,
adding the somewhat imaginary incident of the loss of O'Brallaghan's
left ear by a sweep of his, Jinks', sword.

“What! you cut off his ear!” cried Ralph.

“Yes, sir,” replied Mr. Jinks, “close to the caitiff's head!”

“Jinks! I admire you!”

“It was nothing—nothing, sir!”

“Yes it was. It equals the most splendid achievements of
antiquity.”

And Ralph chuckled.

“He deserved it, sir,” said Mr. Jinks, with modest dignity.

“Yes—you had your revenge.”

“I will have more.”

“Why, are you not satisfied?”

“No!”

“You will still pursue with your dreadful enmity the unfortunate
O'Brallaghan?”

“Yes, sir!”

“Well, I'll assist you.”

“It is my own quarrel. The house of Jinks, sir, can right its
own wrongs.”

“No doubt; but remember one circumstance. I myself hate
O'Brallaglian with undying enmity.”

“How is that, sir?”

“Can't you guess?”

“No.”

“Why, he had the audacity to sell my plum-colored coat and
and the rest of my suit to this Mr. Verty.”

“Oh—yes.”

“Abominable conduct! only because I did not call at the very
moment to try on the suit. He would `make me another,' forsooth,
`in the twinkle of an eye;' and then he began to pour out
his disagreeable blarney. Odious fellow!”

And Ralph turned aside his head to laugh.

“Leave him to me,” said Mr. Jinks, arranging his sword with
grace and dignity at his side; “if you wish to assist me, however,
you may, sir. Let us now enter this tavern, and partake of
rum and crackers.”

“By all means—there is just time.”

“How, sir?” asked Mr. Jinks, as they moved toward the
tavern.

“I have just ordered my horse.”

“To ride?”

“Yes.”

Jinks sighed.

“I must purchase a steed myself,” he said.

“Yes?” rejoined Ralph.

“Yes. To make my visit to the perfidious Sallianna.”

Ralph laughed.

“I thought you had abandoned her?”

“Never!”

“You wish to go and see her?”

“I will go this day!”

“Good! take half of my horse.”

“Half?”

“Ride behind.”

“Hum!”

“Come, my dear fellow, don't be bashful. He's a beautiful
steed—look there, through the window.”

“I see him—but think of the figure we would cut.”

“Two sons of Aymon!” laughed Ralph.

“I understand: of Jupiter Ammon,” said Jinks; “but my legs,
sir—my legs?”

“What of 'em?”

“They require stirrups.”

“All fancy—your legs, my dear Jinks, are charming. I consider
them the chief ornament you possess.”

“Really, you begin to persuade me,” observed Mr. Jinks, becoming
gradually tractable under the effect of the rum which he
had been sipping for some minutes, and gazing complacently at his
grasshopper continuations in their scarlet stockings.

“Of course,” Ralph replied, “so let us set out at once.”

“Yes, yes! revenge at once!”

And the great Jinks wiped his mouth with the back of his
hands;—brought his sword-belt into position, and assuming a
manner of mingled dignity and ferocity, issued forth with Ralph.

The latter gentleman, laughing guardedly, mounted into the
saddle, and then rode to the spot at which Jinks awaited him.

“Come,” he said, “there's no time to be lost;—recollect, your
rival has gone before!”

The thought inspired Mr. Jinks with supernatural activity, and
making a leap, he lit, so to speak, behind Ralph, much after the
fashion of a monkey falling on the bough of a cocoanut tree.

The leap, however, had been somewhat too vigorous, and Mr.
Jinks found one of his grasshopper legs under the animal; while
the other extended itself at right-angles, in a horizontal position,
to the astonishment of the hostler standing by.

“All right!” cried Ralph, with a roar of laughter.

And setting spur to the terrified animal, he darted from the
door, followed by general laughter and applause, with which the
clattering of Mr. Jinks' sword, and the cries he uttered, mingled
pleasantly. This was the manner in which Jinks set out for
revenge.