University of Virginia Library

LETTER
FROM MUSTAPHA RUB-A-DUB KELI KHAN,

The numerous letters which I have written to our friend
the slave-driver, as well as those to thy kinsman the snorer,
and which doubtless were read to thee, honest Muley,
have in all probability, awakened thy curiosity to know further
particulars concerning the manners of the barbarians,
who hold me in such ignominious captivity. I was lately
at one of their public ceremonies, which, at first, perplexed
me exceedingly as to its object; but as the explanations of
a friend have let me somewhat into the secret, and as it
seems to bear no small analogy to thy profession, a description

of it may contribute to thy amusement, if not to thy
instruction.

A few days since, just as I had finished my coffee, and
was perfuming my whiskers preparatory to a morning
walk, I was waited upon by an inhabitant of this place,
a gay young infidel, who has of late cultivated my acquaintance.
He presented me with a square bit of painted
pasteboard, which he informed me, would entitle me
to admittance to the city assembly. Curious to know the
meaning of a phrase which was entirely new to me, I
requested an explanation; when my friend informed me
that the assembly was a numerous concourse of young
people of both sexes, who, on certain occasions, gathered
together to dance about a large room with violent gesticulation,
and try to out-dress each other. “In short,” said
he, “If you wish to see the natives in all their glory, there's
no place like the city assembly; so you must go there and
sport your whiskers.” Though the matter of sporting
my whiskers was considerably beyond my apprehension,
yet I now began, as I thought, to understand him. I
had heard of the war dances of the natives, which are a
kind of religious institution, and had little doubt but
that this must be a solemnity of the kind—upon a prodigious
great scale. Anxious as I am to contemplate
these strange people in every situation, I willingly acceded
to his proposal, and, to be more at ease, I determined
to lay aside my Turkish dress, and appear in
plain garments of the fashion of this country, as is my
custom whenever I wish to mingle in a crowd, without
exciting the attention of the gaping multitude.

It was long after the shades of night had fallen, before
my friend appeared to conduct me to the assembly.
“These infidels,” thought I, “shroud themselves in
mystery, and seek the aid of gloom and darkness, to
heighten the solemnity of their pious orgies. Resolving
to conduct myself with that decent respect, which every
stranger owes to the customs of the land in which he sojourns,
I chastised my features into an expression of sober
reverence, and stretched my face into a degree of longitude
suitable to the ceremony I was about to witness.
Spite of myself, I felt an emotion of awe stealing over
my senses as I approached the majestic pile. My imagination
pictured something similar to a descent into the cave
of Dom-Daniel, where the necromancers of the East are
taught their infernal arts. I entered with the same gravity

of demeanour that I would have approached the holy
temple of Mecca, and bowed my head three times as I
passed the threshold.—“Head of the mighty Amrou!”
thought I, on being ushered into a splendid saloon, “what
a display is here! surely I am transported to the mansions
of the Houris, the elysium of the faithful!”—How
tame appeared all the descriptions of enchanted palaces in
our Arabian poetry! Where ever I turned my eyes, the
quick glances of beauty dazzled my vision and ravished
my heart: lovely virgins fluttered by me, darting imperial
looks of conquest, or beaming such smiles of invitation,
as did Gabriel when he beckoned our holy prophet to
heaven. Shall I own the weakness of thy friend, good
Muley?—while thus gazing on the enchanting scene before
me, I for a moment forgot my country, and even the
memory of my three-and-twenty wives faded from my
heart; my thoughts were bewildered and led astray, by
the charms of these bewitching savages, and I sunk, for
a while, into that delicious state of mind where the senses,
all enchanted and all striving for mastery, produce an
endless variety of tumultuous, yet pleasing emotions. Oh,
Muley, never shall I again wonder that an infidel should
prove a recreant to the single solitary wife allotted him,
when even thy friend, armed with all the precepts of
Mahomet, can so easily prove faithless to three-and-twenty!

“Whither have you led me?” said I, at length, to my
companion, “and to whom do these beautiful creatures
belong? certainly this must be the seraglio of the grand
bashaw of the city, and a most happy bashaw must he
be, to possess treasures which even his highness of Tripoli
cannot parallel.” “Have a care,” cried my companion,
“how you talk of seraglios, or you will have all
these gentle nymphs about your ears; for seraglio is a
word which beyond all others, they abhor:—most of
them,” continued he, “have no lord and master, but
come here to catch one—they're in the market, as we
term it.” “Ah, ha!” said I, exultingly, “then you
really have a fair, or slave market, such as we have in
the East, where the faithful are provided with the choicest
virgins of Georgia and Circassia?—by our glorious
sun of Afric, but I should like to select some ten or a
dozen wives from so lovely an assemblage! pray what
would you suppose they might be bought for?”—

Before I could receive an answer, my attention was
attracted by two or three good-looking middle-sized men,

who being dressed in black, a colour universally worn in
this country by the muftis and dervises, I immediately
concluded to be high priests, and was confirmed in my
original opinion that this was a religious ceremony.
These reverend personages are entitled managers, and
enjoy unlimited authority in the assemblies, being armed
with swords, with which, I am told, they would infallibly
put any lady to death who infringed the laws of the
temple. They walked round the room with great solemnity,
and, with an air of profound importance and
mystery, put a little piece of folded paper in each fair
hand, which I concluded were religious talismans. One
of them dropped on the floor, whereupon I slily put my
foot on it, and, watching an opportunity, picked it up
unobserved, and found it to contain some unintelligible
words and the mystic number 9. What were its virtues
I know not; except that I put it in my pocket, and have
hitherto been preserved from my fit of the lumbago,
which I generally have about this season of the year ever
since I tumbled into the well of Zim-zim on my pilgrimage
to Mecca. I enclose it to thee in this letter, presuming
it to be particularly serviceable against the dangers of thy
profession.

Shortly after the distribution of these talismans, one
of the high priests stalked into the middle of the room
with great majesty, and clapped his hands three times:
a loud explosion of music succeeded from a number of
black, yellow, and white musicians, perched in a kind of
cage over the grand entrance. The company were thereupon
thrown into great confusion and apparent consternation.—They
hurried to and fro about the room, and at
length formed themselves into little groups of eight persons,
half male and half female;—the music struck into
something like harmony, and, in a moment, to my utter
astonishment and dismay, they were all seized with what
I concluded to be a paroxysm of religious phrensy, tossing
about their heads in a ludicrous style from side to
side, and indulging in extravagant contortions of figure;
—now throwing their heels into the air, and anon whirling
round with the velocity of the eastern idolators, who
think they pay a grateful homage to the sun by imitating
his motions. I expected every moment to see them fall
down in convulsions, foam at the mouth, and shriek with
fancied inspiration. As usual the females seemed most
fervent in their religious exercises, and performed them

with a melancholy expression of feature that was peculiarly
touching; but I was highly gratified by the exemplary
conduct of several male devotees, who, though their
gesticulations would intimate a wild merriment of the
feelings, maintained throughout as inflexible a gravity of
countenance as so many monkeys of the island of Borneo
at their antics.

“And pray,” said I, “who is the divinity that presides
in this splendid mosque?”—The divinity! Oh, I
understand—you mean the belle of the evening; we have
a new one every season.—The one at present in fashion
is that lady you see yonder, dressed in white, with pink
ribbons, and a crowd of adorers around her.” “Truly,”
cried I, “this is the pleasantest deity I have encountered
in the whole course of my travels;—so familiar, so condescending,
and so merry withal;—why, her very worshippers
take her by the hand, and whisper in her ear.”

“My good Mussulman,” replied my friend with great
gravity, “I perceive you are completely in an error concerning
the intent of this ceremony. You are now in a
place of public amusement, not of public worship; and
the pretty looking young men you see making such violent
grotesque distortions are merely indulging in our
favourite amusement of dancing.” “I cry your mercy,”
exclaimed I, “these then are the dancing men and
women of the town, such as we have in our principal
cities, who hire themselves out for the entertainment of
the wealthy;—but, pray who pays them for this fatiguing
exhibition?”—My friend regarded me for a moment
with an air of whimsical perplexity, as if doubtful whether
I was in jest or in earnest—“'Sblood man,” cried
he, “these are some of our greatest people, our fashionables,
who are merely dancing here for amusement.”
Dancing for amusement! think of that, Muley!—thou,
whose greatest pleasure is to chew opium, smoke tobacco,
loll on a couch, and doze thyself into the regions of the
Houris!—Dancing for amusement!—shall I never cease
having occasion to laugh at the absurdities of these barbarians,
who are laborious in their recreations, and indolent
only in their hours of business!—Dancing for amusement!—the
very idea makes my bones ache, and I never
think of it without being obliged to apply my handkerchief
to my forehead, and fan myself into some degree of
coolness.

“And pray,” said I, when my astonishment had a

little subsided, “do these musicians also toil for amusement,
or are they confined to their cage, like birds, to
sing for the gratification of others? I should think the
former was the case, from the animation with which they
flourish their elbows. “Not so,” replied my friend,
“they are well paid, which is no more than just, for I
assure you they are the most important personages in the
room. The fiddler puts the whole assembly in motion,
and directs their movements, like the master of a puppet-show,
who sets all his pasteboard gentry kicking by a
jerk of his fingers.—There now, look at that dapper little
gentleman yonder, who appears to be suffering the
pangs of dislocation in every limb: he is the most expert
puppet in the room, and performs not so much for his
own amusement, as for that of the bystanders.” Just
then, the little gentleman having finished one of his paroxysms
of activity, seemed to be looking round for applause
from the spectators. Feeling myself really much
obliged to him for his exertions, I made him a low bow
of thanks, but nobody followed my example, which I
thought a singular instance of ingratitude.

Thou wilt perceive, friend Muley, that the dancing of
these barbarians is totally different from the science professed
by thee in Tripoll; the country, in fact, is afflicted
by numerous epidemical diseases, which travel from house
to house, from city to city, with the regularity of a
caravan. Among these, the most formidable is this dancing
mania, which prevails chiefly throughout the winter.
It at first seized on a few people of fashion, and being
indulged in moderation was a cheerful exercise; but in a
little time, by quick advances, it infected all classes of the
community, and became a raging epidemic. The doctors
immediately, as is their usual way, instead of devising a
remedy, fell together by the ears, to decide whether it was
native or imported, and the sticklers for the latter opinion
traced it to a cargo of trumpery from France, as they had
before hunted down the yellow-fever to a bag of coffee
from the West-Indies. What makes this disease the
more formidable is, that the patients seem infatuated with
their malady, abandon themselves to its unbounded ravages,
and expose their persons to wintry storms and midnight
airs, more fatal in this capricious climate, than the
withering Simoon blast of the desert.

I know not whether it is a sight most whimsical, or
melancholy, to witness a fit of this dancing malady. The

lady hops up to the gentleman, who stands at the distance
of about three paces, and then capers back again to her
place;—the gentleman of course does the same; then they
skip one way, then they jump another;—then they turn
their backs to each other;—then they seize each other and
shake hands; then they whirl round, and throw themselves
into a thousand grotesque and ridiculous attitudes;
—sometimes on one leg, and sometimes on the other, and
sometimes on no leg at all: and this they call exhibiting
the graces! By the nineteen thousand capers of the great
mountebank of Damascus, but these graces must be something
like the crooked backed dwarf of Shabrac, who is
sometimes permitted to amuse his Highness by imitating
the tricks of a monkey. These fits continue for short
intervals of from four to five hours, till at last the lady
is led off, faint, languid, exhausted, and panting, to her
carriage;—rattles home;—passes a night of feverish restlessness,
cold perspirations, and troubled sleep; rises late
next morning, if she rises at all; is nervous, petulant, or
a prey to languid indifference all day; a mere household
spectre, neither giving nor receiving enjoyment; in the
evening hurries to another dance; receives an unnatural
exhilaration from the lights, the music, the crowd, and
the unmeaning bustle;—flutters, sparkles, and blooms for
a while, until the transient dolirium being past, the infatuated
maid drops and languishes into apathy again;—
is again led off to her carriage, and the next morning
rises to go through exactly the same joyless routine.

And yet, wilt thou believe it, my dear Raggi, these
are rational beings; nay, more, their countrymen would
fain persuade me they have souls! Is it not a thousand
times to be lamented that beings, endowed with charms
that might warm even the frigid heart of a dervise;—
with social and endearing powers, that would render them
the joy and pride of the harem;—should surrender themselves
to a habit of heartless dissipation, which preys imperceptibly
on the roses of the check; which robs the
eye of its lustre, the mouth of its dimpled smile, the spirits
of their cheerful hilarity, and the limbs of their elastic
vigour:—which hurries them off in the spring-time of
existence; or, if they survive, yields to the arms of a
youthful bridegroom a frame wrecked in the storms of
dissipation, and struggling with premature infirmity.
Alas, Muley! may I not ascribe to this cause the number
of little old women I meet with in this country, from
the age of eighteen to eight-and-twenty?

In sauntering down the room, my attention was attracted
by a smoky painting, which, on nearer examination,
I found consisted of two female figures crowning a
bust with a wreath of laurel. “This, I suppose,” cried
I, “was some famous dancer in his time? “O, no,”
replied my friend, “he was only a general.” “Good;
but then he must have been great at a cotillion, or expert
at a fiddle-stick—or why is his memorial here?” “Quite
the contrary,” answered my companion; “history makes
no mention of his ever having flourished a fiddle-stick, or
figured in a single dance. You have no doubt, heard of
him: he was the illustrious Washington, the father and
deliverer of his country: and, as our nation is remarkable
for gratitude to great men, it always does honour to their
memory, by placing their monuments over the doors of
taverns, or in the corners of dancing-rooms.”

From thence my friend and I strolled into a small
apartment adjoining the grand saloon, where I beheld a
number of grave looking persons with venerable gray
heads, but without beards, which I thought very unbecoming,
seated round a table studying hieroglyphics. I
approached them with reverence, as so many magi, or
learned men, endeavouring to expound the mysteries of
Egyptian science: several of them threw down money,
which I supposed was a reward proposed for some great
discovery, when presently one of them spread his hieroglyphics
on the table, exclaimed triumphantly, “Two
bullets and a bragger!” and swept all the money into his
pocket. He has discovered a key to the hieroglyphics,
thought I—happy mortal!—no doubt, his name shall be
immortalized. Willing, however, to be satisfied, I looked
round on my companion with an inquiring eye; he
understood me, and informed me that these were a company
of friends, who had met together to win each other's
money and be agreeable. “Is that all?” exclaimed I;
“why then, I pray you, make way, and let me escape
from this temple of abominations, who knows but
these people, who meet together to toil, worry, and fatigue
themselves to death, and give it the name of pleasure —
and who win each other's money by way of being agreeable—may
some one of them take a liking to me, and pick
my pocket, or break my head in a paroxysm of hearty
good-will!”