University of Virginia Library

How the People of New-Amsterdam were thrown into a
great Panic by the News of a threatened Invasion: and
the Manner in which they fortified themselves.

There is no sight more truly interesting to a philosopher
than to contemplate a community where every individual
has a voice in public affairs, where every individual
thinks himself the Atlas of the nation, and where every
individual thinks it is duty to bestir himself for the good

of his country.—I say, there is nothing more interesting
to a philosopher than to see such a community in a sudden
bustle of war. Such a clamour of tongues, such a
bawling of patriotism, such running hither and thither,
every body in a hurry, every body up to the ears in trouble,
every body in the way, and every body interrupting his
industrious neighbour, who is busily employed in doing
nothing! It is like witnessing a great fire, where every
man is at work like a hero; some dragging about empty
engines! others scampering with full buckets, and spilling
the contents into the boots of their neighbour; and others
ringing the church bells at night, by way of putting out
the fire. Little firemen, like sturdy little knights storming
a breach, clambering up and down scaling-ladders,
and bawling through tin trumpets, by way of directing the
attack. Here one busy fellow, in his great zeal to save
the property of the unfortunate, catches up an anonymous
chamber utensil, and gallants it off with an air of as much
self-importance, as if he had rescued a pot of money;
another throws looking glasses and china out of the window,
to save them from the flames; while those, who can
do nothing else to assist the great calamity, run up and
down the streets with open throats, keeping up an incessant
cry of—Fire! Fire! Fire!

“When the news arrived at Sinope,” says the grave
and profound Lucian, though I own the story is rather
trite, “that Philip was about to attack them, the inhabitants
were thrown into violent alarm. Some ran to furbish
up their arms; others rolled stones to build up the
walls; every body, in short, was employed, and every
body was in the way of his neighbour. Diogenes alone
was the only man who could find nothing to do; whereupon,
determining not to be idle when the welfare of his
country was at stake, he tucked up his robe, and fell to
rolling his tub with might and main, up and down the
Gymnasium.” In like manner did every mother's son,
in the patriotic community of New-Amsterdam, on receiving
the missives of Peter Stuyvesant, busy himself
most mightily in putting things into confusion, and assisting
the general uproar. “Every man,” saith the Stuyvesant
manuscript, “flew to arms!” By which is meant,
that not one of our honest Dutch citizens would venture
to church or to market, without an old fashioned spit of
a sword dangling at his side, and a long Dutch fowling-piece
on his shoulder; nor would he go out of a night

without a lantern! nor turn a corner without first peeping
cautiously round, lest he should come unawares upon
a British army; and we are informed, that Stoffel Brinkerhoff,
who was considered by the old women almost as
brave a man as the governor himself, actually had two
one-pound swivels mounted in his entry, one pointing out
at the front door and the other at the back.

But the most strenuous measure resorted to on this
awful occasion, and one which has since been found of
wonderful efficacy, was to assemble popular meetings.
These brawling convocations, I have already shown, were
extremely offensive to Peter Stuyvesant; but as this was
a moment of unusual agitation, and as the old governor
was not present to repress them, they broke out with intolerable
violence. Hither, therefore, the orators and politicians
repaired, and there seemed to be a competition
among them who should bawl the loudest, and exceed the
others in hyperbolical bursts of patriotism, and in resolutions
to uphold and defend the government. In these sage
and all powerful meetings it was determined, nem. con. that
they were the most enlightened, the most dignified, the
most formidable, and the most ancient community upon
the face of the earth. Finding that this resolution was so
universally and readily carried, another was immediately
proposed,—Whether it were not possible and politic to exterminate
Great Britain? Upon which sixty-nine members
spoke most eloquently in the affirmative, and only
one arose to suggest some doubts, who, as a punishment
for his treasonable presumption, was immediately seized
by the mob, and tarred and feathered; which punishment
being equivalent to the Tarpeian Rock, he was afterwards
considered as an outcast from society, and his
opinion went for nothing. The question, therefore, being
unanimously carried in the affirmative, it was recommended
to the grand council to pass it into a law, which was
accordingly done; by this measure the hearts of the people
at large were wonderfully encouraged, and they waxed
exceedingly choleric and valorous. Indeed, the first
paroxysm of alarm having in some measure subsided, the
old women having buried all the money they could lay
their hands on, and their husbands daily getting fuddled
with what was left—the community began even to stand on
the offensive. Songs were manufactured in low Dutch,
and sung about the streets, wherein the English were most
wofully beaten, and shown no quarter; and popular addresses

were made, wherein it was proved to a certainty,
that the fate of Old England depended upon the will of
the New-Amsterdammers.

Finally, to strike a violent blow at the very vitals of
Great Britain, a multitude of the wiser inhabitants assembled,
and having purchased all the British manufactures
they could find, they made thereof a huge bonfire; and,
in the patriotic glow of the moment, every man present,
who had a hat or breeches of English workmanship, pulled
it off, and threw it most undauntedly into the flames
—to the irreparable detriment, loss, and ruin of the English
manufacturers. In commemoration of this great
exploit, they erected a pole on the spot, with a device
on the top intended to represent the province of Nieuw
Nederlandts, destroying Great Britain, under the similitude
of an Eagle picking the little Island of Old England
out of the globe; but either through the unskillfulness of
the sculptor, or his ill timed waggery, it bore a striking
resemblance to a goose vainly striving to get hold of a
dumpling.