University of Virginia Library

MASTER SIMON.

The mirth of the company was greatly promoted by the
humours of an eccentric personage whom Mr. Bracebridge
always addressed with the quaint appellation of
Master Simon. He was a tight brisk little man, with the
air of an arrant old bachelor. His nose was shaped like
the bill of a parrot; his face slightly pitted with the small
pox, with a dry perpetual bloom on it, like a frost-bitten
leaf in autumn. He had an eye of great quickness and
vivacity, with a drollery and lurking waggery of expression
that was irresistible. He was evidently the wit of
the family, dealing very much in sly jokes and innuendoes
with the ladies, and making infinite merriment by
harpings upon old themes; which, unfortunately, my ignorance
of the family chronicles did not permit me to
enjoy. It seemed to be his great delight during supper
to keep a young girl next him in a continual agony of
stifled laughter, in spite of her awe of the reproving looks
of her mother, who sat opposite. Indeed, he was the
idol of the younger part of the company, who laughed at
every thing he said or did, and at every turn of his countenance.
I could not wonder at it; for he must have
been a miracle of accomplishments in their eyes. He
could imitate Punch and Judy; make an old woman of

his hand, with the assistance of a burnt cork and pocket
handkerchief: and cut an orange into such a ludicrous
caricature, that the young folks were ready to die with
laughing.