LETTER LXVI.
In which Cousin Ephraim describes the method of putting
`dimocrats' over on to the federal side.
Downingville, State of Maine, August 12, 1833.
To Cousin Major Jack Downing, at Washington city, or else gone
long with the President down to the Rip Raps. To be sent privately
in the Portland Courier.
Dear Cousin Jack. — I've got something pretty
heavy on my mind that I want to tell ye about, and ask
your advice, and may be I shall want you to lend me a
hand a little. I've been watching politics pretty snug ever
since I was a little boy, and that's near about forty years;
and I believe I know most as much about it as uncle
Joshua, although he's twenty years older than I be. Now
about this republicanism and federalism, I've minded
that it always keeps changing, and always has, ever
since I can remember. And I've minded tu it most always
keeps going round one way; that is, the young
federalists keep turning dimocrats, and the old dimocrats
keep turning federalists. What it's for I dont exactly
know, but that's the way it goes. I spose a man, on the
whole, is n't hardly fit to be a dimocrat after he gets to
be fifty years old. And here is old uncle Joshua in the
Post Office, he's got to be about sixty, and he's hanging
on to the dimocratic side yet, like the tooth-ache; and
it begins to worry me a good deal. I think it's high
time he went over. You know Downingville has always
been a genuine republican town, and I want it should
always go according to the
usages [I think that's what
they call it] of the dimocratic party.
When it gets to be time for an old dimocrat to go over
on the federal side, I believe the Argus always puts 'em
over. You remember there was old Mr Insley in Portland,
and old Gineral Wingate in Bath, as much as a
dozen years ago, were some as big republicans as there
was any where about. Well, they got to be considerable
old, and had been in office sometime, so the Argus took
and clapt 'em right over on to the federal side. And
you know there was Mr Holmes, he was a whapping
great republican. But he begun to grow old, and so the
Argus put him over. And there was Mr Sprague; he
was such a nice dimocrat every one said it was a pitty
to put him over. But bein he'd been to Congress sometime,
the Argus would n't hear a word, but shoved him
right over.
And this summer the Argus is putting of 'em over considerable
younger on to the federal side. It has put
Judge Preble over, and Judge Ware, and Mr Mitchell,
the Post Master at Portland, and he isn't near so old as
uncle Joshua, and it has put Mr Megquier over, only
think, such a young man as Mr Megquier, that's only
been in the Sinnet three or four years. Now dont you
think, according to dimocratic usage, it is high time old
uncle Joshua was put over? I wish you would jest write
to the Argus and have it done, for I feel a good deal
worried about it.
And as soon as it comes out in the Argus that he is
fairly over, I want you to tell the President that uncle
Joshua is a federalist, and have him removed from the
Post Office, for it would be an everlasting shame to have
the Post Office in Downingville kept by a federalist.
N. B. If uncle Joshua should be removed I wish you
would use your influence to get the President to give the
office to me; for next to Uncle Joshua I spose I've done
more for the republican party than any man in Downingville.
I can have a recommendation from Sargent
Joel and all the company. By attending to this you
will much oblige your friend and cousin,
